“Good morning.”

“No.”

“Excuse me.”

“I said no.”

“I heard that.”

“Okay.”

“I’m meant what do you mean?”

“Not today Mona.”

“Not today what?”

“I’m not feeling up to our normal routine.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. You want coffee?”

“Tea. And an explanation.”

“Tea it is.”

Some days things go from bad to worse. Some weeks steadily grow shittier. My life so far has been an ever escalating shit show since the start.

“Your tea Mona.”

“Thanks Mikey. So what happened?”

“Nothing.”

“No really.”

“No. Really.”

“So it’s just a bad day?”

“Yeah. I guess so.”

“If you need me I’m right here.”

“I appreciate that. I do.”

“But no.”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“At the beginning?”

“No.”

“The middle?”

“Meh.”

“This morning?”

“Ugh. Can we not? Let’s just pretend everything is okay.”

“Afraid not sweetie. You keep everything bundled up inside. It’s not good for you. Or anyone.”

“It’s fine.”

“No one who has ever been fine has said it’s fine. Not a single mother fucker. Ever.”

“I know.”

“Then spill.”

“There’s not a lot to say.”

“Well then this should be quick.”

“You know I’ve been seeing this lady.”

“Yes.”

“Well…”

“Well?”

“Turns out she hasn’t been exactly honest.”

“She’s a he?”

“I wish.”

“Worse than a secret weiner?”

“Yes.”

“So she’s married.”

“Yep.”

“Let me guess. He’s abusive.”

“Ding ding.”

“She going to leave him.”

“Ding ding.”

“She’s just waiting for the right time. But she loves you. And it’ll be soon.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck. That’s what? The third time?”

“Second this year.”

“Jeez. I’m sorry.”

“I’m done.”

“I can imagine.”

“You know I have never cheated? Not once?”

“Never?”

“No. I don’t even entertain the thought. If you’re with me you’re stuck with me. Until they leave. And they always leave.”

“Wow.”

“I’ve only broken up with one person.”

“Just one?”

“Yes. I’m fucking loyal to a fault. Stay long last time to have left. Always looking for a way to make it work.”

“No one expects the asshole to have a heart of gold.”

“Apparently not.”

“How did you find out she’s married?”

“As he was throwing haymakers at my face.”

“Oh.”

“Right.”

“What did you do?”

“Apologized.”

“That work?”

“Then beat the shit out of him. Apologetically.”

“I’m sure.”

“He was broken over it.”

“He had no idea?”

“Neither of us did.”

“What did she say?”

“That he had it coming.”

“Did he?”

“I don’t know anymore.”

“How bad was it?”

“He lost three teeth. And the ability to use his right hand for a while.”

“And you?”

“My knuckles are swollen. He got a couple good hits in and I think cracked a rib or two.”

“Did you go to the hospital.”

“Just to drop him off.”

“I still have some vicodins from my wisdom teeth.”

“You know how I am with pain pills. Thanks but no thanks.”

“I remember you not filling your scrips after surgery. You were miserable.”

“Better in pain than numbed to the gills and looking for more.”

“That bad?”

“A long line of alcoholics and junkies, don’t want to be another.”

“But you drink.”

“Twice a week. Only twice a week.”

“Hmm. I guess that’s true. Never noticed before.”

“No booze at home.”

“Is that why we always have to bring wine?”

“And wine is nasty.”

“So unsophisticated.”

“Yeah.”

“So no to the pills then. Aspirin?”

“On half a bottle right now. It’s how I managed to come in.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry Mikey.”

“Don’t be. This is my life.”

“But you deserve better.”

“I really don’t.”

“Stop.”

“I am.”

“I meant being so down on yourself.”

“Only way I know.”

“I know. It’s the only thing about you I actually hate.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. One day I’ll figure out why.”

“I hope not.”

“Some days I hope not as well.”

“Like today?”

“No. Today I want to cuddle you and make you feel better. You’re just a teddy bear, you know.”

“I’m really not.”

“Well, a teddy bear with a dildo strapped to it.”

“Closer.”

“And a really foul mouth.”

“Ding ding. Also stuffed with used hypodermic needles and shards of glass.”

“Naw. You’re pretty great.”

“Not today I’m not. Maybe not ever again.”-

“This to will pass.”

“And the next disaster is looming.”

“Maybe the next disaster will be true love.”

“I don’t know what I would do if that actually happened.”

“You would make her the luckiest woman on the planet. You would love her like no one else possibly could. And she’d be a damned fool to think about leaving.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“That sounds nice.”

“You’re looking a little pale.”

“He might have stabbed me a little bit.”

“What!”

“Just a little. I need to lay down.”

“There’s blood on your shirt!”

“Just for a second…”