is the moon blood red or did i cut myself again hard to tell as i float down the stream on a lazily deflating inner tube but the inner tube is out and i am in it crystalline juxtaposition i am inner it is outer and space is calling me with the voice of a […]
have a q-tip in my hand and the thought of just jamming it in as hard as possible keeps flashing through my mind was chopping vegetables for dinner and had to throw the knife across the room all i wanted was to drag it across my throat, down my forearms, carve your initials deep into […]
‘it’s funny how i trusted you thought that you were different but when backs were to the wall you fled how you played at being nervous as an excuse got the attention you craved and then ran away it is my fault for seeing in you something special being drawn into your web for encouraging […]
the ivy coated steps leading up the ziggurat each ten span high marked with etches of An and Ki wading out of the waters of Nammu hanging gardens in the cradle of life blowing in the winds of Enlil masses kneel in supplication to Inanna in veneration to Enki thankful for the sustenance provided by […]
waves of anxiety and sorrow radiate from the core of my very being like a black talon around my heart knowing that the end of the long weekend of kids and life is going to close down and become the solitary existence again in less then three hours that the long drive home alone with […]
so much time spent thinking of what was lost as life keeps moving without you everyone loses someone special the nature of entropy in the machine means everyone dies an accident sickness or just worn out parts it is the reality of this life anything that lives will one day cease functioning wrapping yourself in […]
drunken fingers knock the bottle of wine over onto it’s side a rorschach ink blot in purple on the white linen i refuse to look at it unable to take the disapproving glare of the maternal figure spite and rage written in the brown orbs and inked in reddish violet tones whispered phrases of regret […]
as a kid i thought hamburger and hot dog buns were restaurant things fancy and specially made we used white bread and eat fast before the mustard and pickles make it fall apart to this day i’m indifferent to them seem extraneous with a tall glass of kool aid or tea brewed in a glass […]
the cracking of leather followed by the sting of torn flesh a spray of vermilion across the granite wall low whispered prayers and self flagellation as the moon sinks to the west the black blue over the eastern mountains begins to be flecked with streaks of angry pink a bruise in reverse spreading across the […]
sometimes i write a poem as the words to another tumble onto the screen forgetting the last line as the next dances seductively in the near future so consumed with gestating the next literary orphan and cultivating a promising career of anonymity leaving behind a treasure trove of gold foil wrapped chocolate gone white with […]
the red finch circles the hanging tree bloated gray corpses swing from the gnarled black branches scarlet flashes darting among the rotting flesh to peck at the clustered seeds unaware of the unnatural circumstances a feast of life hidden in the fumes of death
standing in the kitchen panfrying breaded pork chops pookie baby blaring through the apartment oil pops in the pan and maybe a shirt was a good idea baggy boxers and pushed down black socks with a hole large enough for an errant big toe to slip out beat an egg with hot sauce and milk […]
at the end of the day at the end of the book we just want that happy ending everything wrapped up with a neat little bow the villian gets their comeuppance and the hero gets true love and saves the day with a glorious sunset we nestle close and bask in the finals rays of […]
he strode down a bamboo lined trail straw hat pulled low to shield his eyes from the rays of the sun that cut like fire forged steel his instincts honed his resolved folded ten thousand times resulting in an edge sharp enough to separate atoms every strike microfracturing the surface leaving a pristine razor for […]
tell her if i could do anything it would be just to lay there and hold her we would talk about our day and i would just run my fingers over her bare shoulder play connect the dots with her freckles while the sunlight dances on her skin close my eyes as her aura cleanses […]
a great man once said he would feel trapped in this world if he didn’t know he could commit suicide at any moment there is always one last exit on the highway if you feel the need to slam the emergency brake and kick up some black smoke as the tires skid hold your drink […]
in an effort to increase grain yields in china the government decided the sparrow needed to be eridicated for every million sparrows killed sixty thousand would be fed so the populace set out to exterminate the flying vermin so many lives could be saved mouths fed villages brought back from the brink but it always […]
the shared consciousness of the hive mind tethered thoughts are they all in this much pain or is it just me is this mass communication array set only to receive on my end is this not transmitting it’s a thursday that means the lawn crew begins the marathon session at seven am they swarm en […]
the sickness burns through parts once soft now hardened with infection covered in sweat yet so cold absolute zero vertigo inducing spirals of bleak hopelessness assault in waves a vortex of sound the urge to drive drive into the distance race the sun to the horizon when the engine eventually sputters and die tires shredded […]
the cyclical nature of heroes and forerunners is a tangled web folk lore idols become messy caricatures and ultimately cast aside in favor of more flattering new age inspirations samuel clemens was the greatest story teller on the planet friends with tesla and reknowned for his wit born in the golden age of true americana […]
dreamt of you again last night woke up sick feeling like i did for weeks on end frantically checking to see if you texted or called or emailed me while my fragile body slept the weakness and necessity pull me from endless stares at a popcorn ceiling with the secrets of the universe and happiness […]
she spent an hour picking the perfect blooms delicate lillies and bright orange tulips two roses one pink one red two cards and a bottle of cheap vodka she set the vase by the window so the sun can shower it all day long the first card was lovely teal and purple hearts on thick […]
it was a formerly red seventy two chevy nova the driver side floorboard had rusted hole that showed a dizzying view of the pavement flying by a byproduct of salty ice prevention also got the exhaust so in the middle of the winter you needed a window cracked to pull the ever present combination of […]
realized the old name didn’t suit the new frame the dystopian adventures in dating long dead and buried settled into a solitary lifestyle just a couple hundred acres of imaginary flatland and free range philosophy none of that preconceived nonsense they sell in the stores a land of perpetual dusk just the hint of the […]
sitting silently staring at the window hoping to see her smiling face azure eyes my phone rang i answered stock elevator music in the background a female voice spoke to me in mandarin of which i am less than fluent but as she spoke i began to understand the initial urge to hang up vanished […]
there’s nematodes in fresh fish parasites worms the good news is they die at one hundred forty degrees the bad news is properly cooked fish hits no higher than one thirty one twenty for the more succulent types freezing works but you lose the freshness and no matter what eating dead worms worms in everything […]
my fingertips are calloused a combination of deadened nerves from frying chicken and cranking a wrench and soldering iron this thick build up of ritual scarring my hands have endured may be my down fall the sacrifices to the gods of groceries and electricity rent to the auspicious host sixty plus hours of devotion in […]
my friend called it isn’t often that happens so i actually answer he is lost needs to figure out which path in life to take the safe and simple two and a half white picket fence or take a little chance get himself a mcmansion and a trophy wife in yoga pants on one hand […]
her lips were thick and pink except the left of her lower lip where she kept involuntarily biting it her pupils dialated from the flood of chemicals in her brain the steel gray specked blue nearly devoured her head thrown back against my shoulder her entire body leaning into me leaning down to taste her […]
the putrid stench worked it’s way into every crack and crevice of death and misfortune as if a portal to hell were opened and out seeped the smell of endless torment eyes water gag reflex engages cramping it pervades all it comes in contact with desperation and loneliness a cologne made with distilled heartache and […]
i understand why junkies would rather risk overdose and death than quit the junk why smokers always return adrenaline addicts jumping out planes it makes sense because dreaming about something and waking up with the feel of it in your skin and then feeling it fade away all that is left is the intoxicating need […]
is it possible if you try really hard maybe live a good life charitable kind nurturing could it become plausible in the realms of probablility even for an instant to find the inverse of this impending doom to wake and not shrug my way into this automaton form fuel the machine interact with the intricate […]
when i needed someone most there was no one there the silence was deafening as the momentum gathered and rock bottom was the only stop that was when i realized how alone i truly am as i claw back broken fingernails like little bloody outgrowth on the barren walls it is this that i cling […]
my daughter asked me about love the other day we talk about everything openly and honest drugs, religion, politics i always tell her exactly how i feel but when she asked of love i froze was I supposed to expound on the virtues of love the butterflies, tingling electricity at every errant touch, the endorphin […]
had a breakthrough i don’t know how to handle when things are over i’m incapable in the middle of twelve books but unable to finish one of them just start another binge watch something until the final couple and let it linger but it is a state of flux i’ll snap to a new mind […]
instead of mirrors the world would be a much more wonderful and strange place if we could see ourselves as others do no reflective surface needed no taint of inner turmoil which manic stage are we at today the one where everything is beautiful nope it is all shit the mirror is a one way […]
been four days still hurts to stand sit walk talk learned to cry softly so as to not disturb the center of anguish and gravity the best part of sorrow is the bottomlessness of it depression is a true perpetual motion machine it never stops moving slows for the peaks barrels to the valley but […]
on some serious anti-sobriety medication have a subscription with this dude i know he prescribes i imbibe assimilate flower i enjoy the drive to an illicit exchange it elicits an invocation summons a djinn of time erasure one drive and a week is gone just ligature marks and the faint recollection of longing bushido code […]
the incessant buzzing in my ears from the swarm of angry hornets that ever circle the lazy stinging ill seasoned cauldron of rancid petty thought processes an allergic retraction freedom from information act subcode seven article one thirteen subclause fifteen point foxtrot the artificial harvest of incomprehensible demonic shuddering shall hereby and forever forth be […]
remember when you would come over and we would get baked out of our minds kiss or listen to music just chill doing what we would do alone but with someone else it made it okay for like ten minutes or so then reality would hammer it’s way in and make everything just so bare […]
she sat staring holes through me from the back of the room her purse on her lap cigarette in her mouth eyes squinting from the smoke hands folded on top of her hand bag just staring “if you have something to say just fucking say it.” the cigarette flares red as she takes a long […]
if i traveled ninety percent the speed of light for ten minutes due to dilation of time twenty minutes would go by for everyone else my mass would increase by nearly double as i race no matter how far i run the problems only double in mass and twice as much harm is doled out […]
the world is pain not just pain mind you but right now it is mostly pain agony with every movement thank goddess for drugs a knock on the door is a three minute trip into forever the second i get comfortable is when something has to be done then the process begins again blueberry through […]
four days ago my email stopped sending me new emails no new poems no notifications i thought i had become unvisible this morning a flood after signing the oath with my new electronic overlords missed so many good things some repeats a deleted angry missive my fault really had my gall bladder out friday kept […]
some termites and ants practice an innate ability to rupture their own internal organs and spill a toxic fluid out of their exoskeletons autothysis they sacrifice themselves for the sake of the colony with the amount i self analyze it should have happened long ago the pressure churning your dying breath is to churn poison […]
in hong kong they don’t have real estate for the dead so they built buildings like so many postal boxes to store the ashes in columbariums and that is disappearing as well seven point four million souls virtual reality tombs little boxes to store your earthly remains space trash send them to the moon or […]
i’ve noted i’m telling the same stories over and over again moments of confusion an inability to do simple chores and tasks telling the same stories over and over again tempura deja vu lightly fried temporally in a wok telling the lame stories over and under again moments of contusion repetition the sky is gray […]
the song be hurt came on lovely little ode to it being okay to be broken the world seems to slow down as i sped happily down the highway that is when the semi changed lanes into a black pick up the shiny silver trailer exploded as the music played i watched it unfold as […]
i like it when someone in the crowd comes up to me as if to ask a question then a moment passes a flash and they begin to weigh if they want to ask me anything at all i assume it is fear of getting punched they have a half formed smile as they approach […]
static fills the air the hair on my arms stands up a hum fills the room ossicles vibrate and form a bridge to the oval window like when the cicadas are out in force and it pervades everything all shakes on cue all shakes on cue i’m starting to think my imaginary friend is real […]
mnemonia pneumonics cancel the world i need a break from the absurdity of reality let’s make a headline together steal a convertible, cherry red with white leather interior we are staining the hell out of everything drive it until the engine explodes cool slow motion shot of us walking away from the wreckage as the […]
the smell of ozone in the air, scored carbon across the lead, blown capacitors and fried transistors invisible and corralled through the green board, simple yes or no answers sent like synapses i have little burn holes on the tips of my fingers from arcing zaps my dad would wait until you were halfway inside […]
she stands at the top of the stairs every morning her cup of tea steams in the morning air at first i just got into my car and left as she gazed out on the parking lot the other day i said good morning she smiled and waved it became our little game she would […]
enter the darkened cave clean up the mess the kids left carefully unzip and remove the skin suit humanity leaves until they come back no one else wants to deal with this mess of a person they have no choice in the matter until they get older and by then i hope we have the […]
can an old flame long dormant ever spark again will it ever reach the inferno it once was or is it destined to just be an ember until it eventually turns to a hard black cluster on the right ventricle it stops just enough blood flow to cause lethargy but not nearly enough to kill […]
time froze i could see every drop of venom she sprayed at me the vein in her forehead popping out fury i did my best to dodge the liquid as it splattered on the ground with a hiss and plume of smoke her deadly accuracy and my innate ability to dodge responsibility working in tandam […]
we are about to do something special there is this restaurant a little barbeque joint it makes the best pancakes in the metroplex now i am prone to hyperbolic statements artistic license with language it is possibly true but this is no exaggeration the people i have taken have always raised an eyebrow gave a […]
tornado warning the summer before i moved to texas tornados destroyed a good chunk of ft worth funky town as the locals call it i don’t know why i am hard pressed to think of a less funky town salt lake city probably moscow strikes me as more vibrant underground house or techno i like […]
been driving and listening to more music than normal refuse to skip songs just letting it come from the chaos of random been a lot of old country lately johnny, waylon, willie, all three hanks then i heard colter wall he is exactly my mood deep voice, story telling in lyrics, like old man johnny […]
shimmering lights all around me the fever has hit one oh two i am shivering under three blankets another day in paradise force a long shower to cool down and get dressed the rain is messing with my knee insult to agony the pounding of kettle drums behind my eyes and erratic driving by the […]
are we really so vapid that we must have nostalgia for everything fifty years ago did they post about missing polio one hundred and twenty years ago do a big retrospective on how great the civil war was and why we need to bring it back did someone write a whimsical diatribe on putting more […]
if i hadn’t cheated on Maude done her wrong with half the town if i had treated her better i wouldn’t be laying in this box six feet down she turned a blind eye to it all always greeted me with a kiss but i finally pushed her too far and this time she didn’t […]
stay in school kids and live with your parents until you are fifty get as many pieces of paper to hang on the wall as possible drown in debt swim through the currents of leases and loans tattoo your face with rainbow sixty nine and four twenty raid the thrift store and dress like a […]
playing a game of hide and seek but when i go looking they didn’t just hide they pack their belongings and move to another state they have prior obligations past issues the carrot on the string is just a dowel rod painted orange but in this maddening hunger i don’t seem to care get a […]
he grew up on these same streets he no longer recalls they were once so familiar he could drunkenly stumble and avoid the pitfalls in near coherency now he doesn’t even know the side streets he is one wrong turn from a mess of trouble he used to navigate these twists and turns like he […]
i’ve cracked the code yesterday was a miserable day of exhaustion and three tap dancing rhinos in my skull coupled with a long day at work i was in misery so i ate four tylenol pm at seven and promptly passed out at eight and nearly stayed comatose the entire night it wasn’t good sleep […]
didn’t so much sleep as fought for every second i got woke up too many times tossed and turned desperately fought to return to dreams it was a failure stretched over seven hours if there was a championship for trying to sleep for assuming a comfortable postition and seeking to yank defeat from the gaping […]
i have started putting cinnamon in my coffee as i brew it i like the smell it feels exotic as it brews it is mostly just coffee flavored so you know good but with a cinnamon tinge i have had an avalanche of lines in my head today but my fingers can’t make them make […]
awoke in the fetal position arms pulled in tight, head bent inwards, knees to my chest shivering where the blanket had been twisted around me so badly it ceased being a blanket it took on the form of a bondage device shaking from the fan blowing on me, the thirty seven degrees outside the frantic […]
when i eight i got a survival knife the overly long, serrated blade with compass in hilt that had matches and a wire for use as a saw think audition by takashi miike — one of my favorite movies the moment the bag flips it becomes terrifying my friend bought it after i told him […]
i leave the walls of my apartment bare the soothing white walls are a haven for when the heavy depression settles in i can concentrate on them feed the bad into them and it goes away but in my mind it is a different scene altogether i hang pictures of the past of the never […]
it all started to cascade like the churning waters of the white rapids when you were a kid that trip why is that in your head indistinct drawings of stick figures and strange beasts, the flickering light of torches wash across the cave wall, the sounds of something primal, stalking, low growling bounced around the […]
it starts with a heavy feeling in your eyes like they weight a little more turning them feels clumsier somehow then the heavy feeling goes to the front of your mind and it feels awkward as well a gentle tinging feeling in your face and the rest of your skull like it is subtly humming, […]
his hands reach over the edge and with a grunt of exertion he pulls himself up always up down is death at every new cliff he hopes to see the horizon but all that is in view is another craggy wall to climb he repeats his mantra always up down is death the things he […]
i need new ink been two years and the feeling is creeping into me the need for the needles to rapidly jam another design from my soul into my flesh the constant him if the motor the feeling of a thousand nettles the rattle and shake the divine pain the glorious blood and black spillover […]
i paid twenty bucks to go to the zoo should have been working but i was close and said to hell with the job for the day they wouldn’t notice and i deserve the break monotonous swill anyway push a couple buttons move on to the next and the zoo is relaxing especially in the […]
i had raised her fingers to my lips the smell of books and ink wafted to my nose synapses fire recollections of lazy nights on the couch her laying on my chest as i read from one of the thousands of books scattered about lands far away blossoming to life we took a trip together […]
i found myself at the crossroads, was sleep walking on air, awoke at the crossroads, and the devil met me there he asked if i had any wishes, i told him fix my broken heart, he said he could fix it, it would only take the smallest part i asked what it was he wanted, […]
nurses are odd and wonderful creatures i have been complimented on the veins in my arms three times this morning their eyes go right to them i am an easy mark for blood testing apparently and they are much more forward than i expected though i suspect my easily blushing nature has something to do […]
if i ever take the time to control my laughter they will see my body fly swaying from the rafter if this pain does not subside and if this is all there is here let me fade into the night watch me as i disappear another day, another dollar, but fifty percent is gone in […]
staring out the window the headache is back and pissed off i spent half the day without it a sparrow dances on the fence it is clearly after something but i see nothing it hops back and forth, intent on it’s prey a truck pulls in with booming bass and it flies off unfulfilled the […]
he is crude curses like a sailor writes what he thinks as he thinks it doesn’t take the time to think it through it is how he is scenes open in his mind and he relates them as best he can not fantasies not really just sees images of things and tries to sculpt them […]
the day started with so much promise i plastered on false optimism braved the traffic for my seven o’clock appointment and waited and waited only to get a call saying that there was a miscommunication the person i am here to meet won’t be in until eight thirty or after waiting forty five minutes for […]
traffic like a herd of angry lemmings all headed to the cliff edge but vying for first over the edge am i the only one who wants to live to not plummet to my fiery doom to just make it one more day for the promise of sweet lips as a reward at the end […]
must have been something in the air over the weekend and by that i mean pollen tons of it my allergies had my head gripped in a vise even medication was laughed at and it seemed everyone was in a bit if a mood as well sad, suicidal, disappointed, let down just generally down well […]
brandishing my fists like an outlaw with a six shooter rootin tootin bare knuckle brawler spitting blood and teeth in equal measure i don’t back down it ain’t in my dna got my ass kicked a fair number of times but i never quit never laid down and accepted defeat chipped a couple teeth with […]
if i had it all to do over again knowing what i know the shit stacked against me, the broken hearts, battered soul and the way life beat me to a pulp i wouldn’t change a thing up to a certain point those two perfect kids i would go through every trial and tribulation exactly […]
this time it was different i knew they were all dead we sat laughing and joking but i remembered they had died and i couldn’t make out there words as they looked at me but their tone and mannerisms said they were making fun of me and i laughed knowing whatever they said was more […]
the sun shines directly into my eyes blinking and trying to make out traffic headed nowhere you are all invited join in on an epic road trip to the edge of boredom i brought snacks stale popcorn and warm flat pop a half eaten pop tart if you reach under the seat there may be […]
i’ve grown accustomed to the idea of dying alone of trips to the hospital rehabbing from whatever surgery and saying no it’s just me hoping the kids come visit to break up the humdrum solitary existence not sleeping next to someone holding then tight when a nightmare strikes the nagging one of us me leaving […]
blind, tripping over everything including my tongue the blank picture in the yearbook as if sick on the day the photos were taken insert face here like a plane about to hit the mountainside while the pilot tells stories about his perfect record the perfect attendance record and a late case of mono numb fingers […]
it’s raining been a long day of writing between menial tasks a cat yowls outside miserable in the dampness poor little thing i’m so tired not sleeping thoughts whirling i miss my kitty ish she changed before she died she wasn’t the same never wanted cuddles just sort of did her own thing away from […]
i see my reflection in the mirror and hate it not content with horrid image bouncing back then i see myself in the window as I walk down the empty hospital corridor and don’t recognize it as the same a separation of id and ego perhaps the walking image is thin and has a nice […]
when she left she took the dogs i’m not a dog person i got them for her because, at the time, i would have done anything for her and i grew to love them pains in the ass they were always needing to go out or needing attention like rowdy three year olds and when […]
one day this ragged dream will end history will determine whether any of it meant anything to anyone the beaten hero faces his final curtain call his blood spills out like the words from his pen and did he ever succeed reach the one he so desperately called out to the only answer to that […]
i almost did something today almost early morning tomorrow busy week ahead so when i made my excuses to my friend’s it was nearly believable nearly instead i hid shaved my head fought a headache wrote trash basic routine with the big schedule next week i plan on taking some much needed quiet time from […]
she stood in doorway hands on her hips, nose in the air she was mad again i would say it mattered but she left me over a year ago her anger was a non factor she didn’t take that very well nor when i asked her to leave instead she started to unbutton her shirt […]
it is the little things i find myself missing in these oppressively quiet moments arguments over stupid stuff nonsensical then making up i don’t get into many arguments now i tend to agree with myself that i should do nothing but work and barely existing it is odd missing moments of turmoil but they are […]
these hands are battered and scarred too many fights hard work from sketching the road map of a broken spirit along the empty corridors nothing but my shuffled feet to keep me company whispers from the dark call out to me sing lullabies slap the worthless from my heavy brow i couldn’t save anyone couldn’t […]
on repeat daisies of the galaxy by the eels jeannie’s diary just one page in jeannie’s diary it’s a motherfucker living without you one of my favorite albums mellow for the headache brooding for the heart ache can’t stop the thoughts today been one of those days again feels like an all time record for […]
Mike's Manic Word Depot 