my beautiful insanity on pubic display, my heart turned circular from all the time my mind spent in space

my misfired synaptical responses from concussions and spinal infractions, the scar where my appendix once lived all marrow and sinew, detached retinas and cavernous sinus cavities in the now vacant skull, finally emptied of the words that haunted my cerebellum, an antebellum of loves last restrained refrain of hardened arteries and weathered veins, rusted protein chains and tumorous hope

of lymphatic and emphatic systemic failings, and canine erosion, gastric corrosion and the misfired neurons of another lovely body of work, the Y incision and bonesaw finesse

the tattoos and scars that showed a road once traveled, the salty tears and pituitary hormonal fears of growing up and giving in to the inevitable decay of soft tissue and cartilage deterioration
i want a crowd to see my gastral intestinal tract bagged and weighed, set on display like the tag on my toe that says i was here, my ragged feet of intestines coiled and looped like a noose between my hips, the blue tint to my lips,

the sunken sockets of ocular atlantis lost to the ravages of time, more myth than fond rememberance, less truth than undistilled fantasies of sunken places and mildewed dreams
a sensual autopsy, disassemble the things that defined me, the loves gone astray, the cancerous display, the meatsuit that once was my body

the decaying orbit of a meteoric failure, conventional and consensual, prolapse, relapsed and interred into the cold void of former existence
no funeral, throw an epic party where my lies and tales get disemboweled and my life gets disavowed, disable the memories and stories, drink for the tears and then smoke for the blanket of depression that drowned me
place me in a biodegradable urn and place me at the foot of a sapling so that this final breakdown can do some good, in an unmarked copse inter my corpse and one day my grandchildren can climb me, their dirty feet and scuffed up knees finding perch upon my branches and solace in my bending not breaking

make it an apple tree so i can give back to a world that knows only how to take, and in my final attempts to yield the bitterest of fruit, a final kiss farewell to this place of despondency with cyanide seed and bruised flesh