always goes sideways

the sickness burns through

parts once soft now hardened with infection

covered in sweat yet so cold

absolute zero

vertigo inducing spirals of bleak hopelessness assault in waves

a vortex of sound

the urge to drive

drive into the distance

race the sun to the horizon

when the engine eventually sputters and die

tires shredded

interior torn apart

a bare spring throne

exonerate the holy chariot with cleansing flame and lay head on stone as the stars flicker a tale of endless dismay

pulsating quasars intrinsically trapping insatiable wells of gravity

today will be the last day of this infernal angst

a finale before falling out of this murky hell

a last blow out

tomorrow the shackles will be forcibly removed by the same shaky hands that attached them

break the barbed wire straight jacket and release a scarred beast of insolence upon an unsuspecting world of tearing desire

a last day of dedication to the torment

a wake for a former life of bottom rung living

a farewell to pain and insecurities

at least that’s the plan

so tired of being trapped in the secret strings of depraved puppet organizations bent on total domination

hanging my vices back on the hook next to resilience and respect

one last day spent floating on the planchette

will it all work out

sliding unbidden to the top right corner

no

is this another fruitless attempt to right the ship as it takes on water and lists starboard

top left corner

yes

the milton bradley logo next to the circled tm means it’s the real deal

fooled by advertiser schemes of devils and witchcraft

nothing is as much fun as possible damnation

all the while dilly dallying with mycology and micro-fungal invasions

spores upon spores upon spires and shores

of infectious disease and liquefied organs

farm fresh free range organic idiocy plumbed from depths of dreary depression

end of the world scenarios and make a wish foundations cracking and door frames sticking

is it the house or my heart settling

indifference is the key to suck less

high school drama on lakes of lava always referential to the ceremonial eel orgies held on the second sabbath of the month

polar ice caps releasing dormant microbes into the air in slow patterns of pathological horror

encased in ice and set free like an ice shelf pandora’s tundra

like a multifaceted chainsaw dildo of cryptozoological punishment

hidden by zeus

a clever payback for the whole prometheus and the sacred flame ordeal

prophesy whispered in code on lotto scratch tickets

hidden texts like dead sea scrolls

second hand accounts of third hand retellings from cave art scat paintings translated into hieroglyphics

serpent serpent ankh cat crane

something something obey your masters question not or locusts or flood or blah blah blah

ten friendly reminders to be less of a twat

as the warm summer breeze swept down across the tall fields of golden tassled corn, a wave rippling down the rows, tufts of corn silk dancing in the air, a creak as the windmill slowly springs to life, bayou thick rock and roll humming from the covered porch of the lone farm house, four children laugh and play among fat kittens and dusty bales of hay, she comes out the screen door with a sexy sway to her hips, a sparkle in her eyes, and two cold bottles of beer, condensation dripping onto the wooden slats of the deck, hummingbirds darting to the red feeder above her, sun framing her face in a halo of warmth

and it goes sideways

it always goes sideways

nothing good shall prosper in a field of discontent

we know this

we repeat it in our sleep as the fever burns and rages

we sleep and dream

and when her face lights up in confusion

skin melting away like candle wax in thick ropy rivulets down her throat

pooling in her cleavage

no more

i want a coffee mug full of apple cider with a nip of bourbon and a sprig of cinnamon

a heliotype of a helicopter and ten thousand unmarked nonsequential bills on the rooftop or i will detonate the explosives so cleverly planted throughout this filthy city

or not

whatever

i’m not the one in charge of this fiasco

i just like breaking toys and screaming incoherently at airplanes as they fly overhead

and i live close to the airport

within yelling distance

as my neighbors like to complain to the police at three in the morning as i stand nude and erect waving a spear at the flying blasphemous things

registered sex defender

introduce myself to the neighbors in a captain america mask and an adult diaper

go on patrol every evening at eight o’clock sharp

tommy gun over one shoulder and jangling spurs on my rocket boots

long black duster whipping menacingly in the wind around me as if alive with murderous intent

cracked horns and a come hither gaze

sucking on a lollipop seductively and winking to the imaginary camera

drawing a breath to speak

and as the lips part to impart wisdom of the ages all i hear is

help

One thought on “always goes sideways

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