to be the rock battered by the waves

she looked at me with tears running down her beautiful face

she shook like a leaf in a hurricane as the agony poured from her

torrential and seemingly endless

i sat with my arm around her shoulders

powerless in the face of this storm

she had not spoken a word since i arrived after receiving her frantic call

no known cause

couldn’t blame it on global warming or pollutants in the sea

no visible signs of injury

her skin was soft and unmarred

perfection

except for the red splotches on her face

nearly purple from the forces fighting within

eventually she calmed

a little

not heaving sobs any longer

more the light rain of a summer’s night when dusk is fast approaching

less a tidal wave in monsoon force winds

a babbling brook in a secluded forest den

i wanted to ask what happened

who attacked her

what forces assailed her delicate frame in such a way to cause this groundswell of fearsome frightfulness to thunder down

to ravage her

but i feared it would accelerate her madness again

whip up that gentle mist into a new terrible gale

i saw lightning in her eyes

a barrage over the ocean in the distance

jagged lines of red electricity over the calm waters far off shore

she just needed to be held for a while

and for all my faults this was something i could do for her

she would talk when she was ready

or not

it didn’t matter to me

if i could thrust my hands into her heart

into her mind

alleviate the agony in some small way

bring a moments peace

tranquility

an instant without pain

i would

the tempest flared

off and on again throughout the night

and all i could do was be the rock the waves battered themselves upon

be a lighthouse to guide her safely back to shore

i don’t know how long i sat there

hours became indecipherable when confronted by nature’s fury

time lost meaning in the irrationality of fraility

finally she fell asleep

the iron of my arms forming a cocoon she nestled into

no longer fearful of the demons that scourged her gentle soul

i slept as well

awkwardly hunched over her exhausted body

a human shield from the devastation

she woke before me

but didn’t shift at all

taking comfort in the contact

when i finally awoke

muscles cramping and neck sore from the angle

she kissed me gently on the cheek

no words were muttered

no embarrassed apologies necessary

it was enough to be enough

i stood awkwardly on wobbly knees as she went to clean herself up

remove the remnants of the bitter tears from her pretty face as if they had never fallen

she looked ready to speak finally

i pressed my finger to her lips

to silence the words of explanation or thanks

she smiled at me

more payment than needed

and i spread the skin from chest

peeling back the muscle and bone

and showed her the mirror where my heart once lived

let it reflect the image of sublime beauty i saw when i looked into her eyes

to show her that i would do anything to prevent those inevitable tears from falling

her eyes widened as she saw the image of her that lived deep within me and nodded

her smile the sun breaking through the fiercesome clouds

illuminating all with it’s effervescent glow

and i left

drove slowly home as the world came to life around me

the scent of wildflowers in my nose

her kiss still tingling on my scruffy cheek

11 thoughts on “to be the rock battered by the waves

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