teetering right between wanting to be heard and having nothing to say so i stay silent rather than reach out and sit alone in a dreary city park waiting for my next appointment

my days are a series of empty parking lots and apologies for things out of my control raging anxiety and an ease of dismissal that borders on the obscene my nights are dissecting every word spoken as i shrink falling between molecules to vanish among the quarks subatomic particulates quivering uselessly beneath notice there is […]

i want an unblemished tombstone with a cup of markers so others can write my epitaph let them scribble out the life of a fool who suffocated on words unsaid

the human eye has evolved to differentiate shades of green a surivial trait to discern threats in the dying forests i have evolved to become color blind trapped on a two dimensional plane where every shadow hides a certain and painful demise leaking black blood onto the pale gray floor of fundamental failings until the […]

the sun came through the window in bars of steaming golden light made somehow more solid by the trails of smoke illuminated in the four slanted recrangles hitting the red and white checkered table cloth and the porcelain rooster sitting proudly in its place of honor at the center of the table just out of […]

the song of the woodpecker seeking grubs in the lifeless corpse of a discarded mannequin plays mournfully in this absence of light furrows carved in a fixed look of exquisitely agonized longing weatherworn in a state of relapsed divinity

a flurry ofanxious energyhalf way into apanic attackonly to be safeand secured tothe couch asagitated punkplays loudly outinto the sleepyapartment complexof simplifiedprison cells i read thatyou should work outwhen the depressiongets to betoo much to handleso my every muscleis torn and achingyet the dark armsof the ever presentswirling abysspull at thelactic acidityof a soul lost […]

got to the laundromat before the drugs had a chance to kick in a static filled cloud of sparks angrily scowling as i hauled in my dirty load masked faces stare at the disheveled wreck in a titticaca shirt unprepared for an excursion out side of his prison my mind spins the same as the […]

a revolution of transitional evolution marching in lockstop sipping molotov cocktails chanting with one thunderous silence clinging desperately to the undercurrent of strange absurdities keeping this trashfire babylon just afloat upon a river of filth a palpable sense of time tumbling to stuttering disengagement as plagues fill anonymous mass graves and despots invade in the […]

fireflies flit throughout the recesses of my acid etched skeleton of hollow bone of not for the semitranslucent skin stretched into a parody of a grin the flashing lights signaling my love for her would be breathtaking my blood runs cold in heaving sprays of toxic masculinity to scorch the linings of vascular indifference a […]

unconscience thoughts a conscientious consciousness casting half chewed seeds to impregnate the dry soil with a convergence of amalgomous kernels of dreamscatter fields of broken hearted declarations of emancipated deterrents reaching callous capacity in overwrought agonies a sleepless sphere in salicylic idioms leaving fresh pink scars over an abundant emptiness lovingly wrapped in the silent […]

i almost died a few different times if not for a series of odd coincidences and faulty valves the world could have been a much more beautiful place proving fate has a taste for ugliness to blot away the hope in universal disbelief everything is in warbling state of shuddering ruination yet still i grasp […]

three years ago i was a newly published author with no name unemployed and struggling to keep the lights on four days later i started a new job and three years later i am an employed no name author struggling to keep the lights on still the cost of living keeps climbing yet the wage […]

there was a guy sitting on a bench with a pensive frown frozen on his tiny face he kept picking up then setting his phone back on his lap scowling deeper with each glance a pretty woman walked down the sidewalk a smile like the noontime sun brigthening the world around her he didn’t even […]

i had a bad habit of putting things off telling myself i would get to them tomorrow dreams and aspirations cast aside waiting on a nebulous tomorrow that kever seemed to come there was an infinite number of tomorrows in a bucket by the door certainly there was no reason to rush but now when […]

saint joey has a magical way of easing the stresses of a human trying his best to be the heartache and bitter hope in two minute blasts reminding us that this condition is a shared spiraling agony so when it all gets to be too much for my swiss cheese brain to comprehend i turn […]

he is a dodo driven to the brink of extinction by a faulty fight or flightless chemical response understanding on a cellular level there is no true means of eacaping himself whom he fully recognizes as the source of all his deficiencies he keeps reading learning intimately anxiety can be triggered as a direct response […]

there is a recession of heartsoil leaving nothing but arid desert where bountiful verdancy once reigned supreme a deprivation of essential need an anemia in tired denials swirling sands bite and sting burying all traces of fossilized hope a sleepless night draped in these ever present aimless anxieties a rejection of thorny dream as the […]

i witnessed the migratory patterns of newborn trucks latched on to the backs of their mothers making the slow ride from mexico up to the adoption centers spread along the winding corridor of interstate 35 i wonder how far they will travel perhaps all the way to minnesota cutting the entire length of the country […]

traffic crawls as i sit watching as cars dart annoying hummingbirds attention defecit jumping lane to lane getting no farther yet traveling twice as far going nowhere at the speed of frustrated self importance seeking to fit in the magic space that will evaporate the bumper to bumper sea of brake lights the pink flowers […]

i listen to all kinds of music but deep down it is fuzzy guitars and a rough voice singing punk rock odes to living that really get to my tarnished soul call out to my inner rebel the part of me with a ready set of middle fingers and a tolerance for lots of pain […]

i travel to an array of interesting at least to me different businesses all across the metroplex and sometimes far out in the sticks i am overly inquisitive always asking what they do in whatever office or warehouse that i find myself in usually it is blah blah blah financial this or insurance that something […]

the managers are careful to shower adulation in lieu of compensation throwing out vacant scripted praise aa they celebrate a year of record growth ignoring the skyrocketing cost of living as they deposit their bonuses before forgetting the ones who did the actual work remoras feeding on scraps from the shark’s feeding frenzy yet swimming […]

he lay bound by sorrow eyes crusted with the salt of unshed tears the world outside one he wished to be part of as far away as the melancholy sun barely risen hope and dream shattered glass beneath his parchment skin each word left unspoken a silver tack piercing his captive tongue

feel meteoric as i yearn to crash initiate self destruct pulling pins unable to find the right one just errant nails jammed deeply into the flesh of a human voodoo doll the radius of my irradiated heart can cleanse the city of the human plague if i could just recall which one starts the countdown […]

i spent twenty minutes looking for the woodpecker tapping for grubs on the leafless trees before realizing there was a good chance what i heard was the tapping of high heels as i saw the lady watching me search for a bird that didnt exist there is likely a lesson to be learned about a […]

sitting in the cold overfilled parking lot dreading going inside my mind is scattered with glinting calteops a brittle edge and a supple ache coursing throughout my being one misstep today and i could shatter into a million pieces of absolute inconsequential nothing the slow speaking woman is waiting for me so she can talk […]

the coffee sent a cloud of steam to moisturize my exhausted face as i watched the cardinal hop excitedly from branch to branch a streak of red singing loudly so his nest remained hidden black eyes glaring in contrast to the happy sounding song i searched for the brown matron in the bare limbs of […]

i face the wall then the bookshelf back to the wall back to the bookshelf then the ceiling i can go days upon days without getting any actual rest chewing over anxieties as ryo plays mellow dream unable to shut off the torrent of turbulent thoughts i dont feel tired sure, my eyes are a […]

the first time i ever got busted drinking in a bar while underage i was standing at a table laughing talking to a lady when i heard one line “they do now” spoken into my ear by my father i remember turning all the color drained from me face beer in my hand lady forgotten […]

the irony of the anxiety in waiting becoming the new anxiety at finally receiving a response is not lost as i watch the date slink closer and closer to cordial rejection or acceptance eight and half months spent dreaming and in scant days an answer must be had i poured too much of myself into […]

for the third time this year alone spring has vanquished winter’s embrace yet i find myself reviewing the ten day forecast apprehensively expecting another bout of chilly petulance the birds are watching as i ponder the day hopping on the rail telling me about the warm winds blowing through as i shiver unexpectedly unsure if […]

viewing the world through the detached retina of divinity a land filled with blurry misrecollections in a haze of sleeplessness the grasping hands of doom fall defiantly to smother the dreamembers in a shower of sparks briefly lending an air of confused coherency in distracted aggression spinning silken cocoons in hopes of waking anew where […]

torn pages of a unicorn covered dream journal fall slowly to the floor caught up in this melodic malady quietly humming as mitochondria power the entire entropic demise in double time the cursor flashes mocking the words dripping lethargically over opioid deceptors in a languish of rhetorical ambiance schismatic resonance in anticlimactic monochromatic dreamslurry scraps […]

the lights cast a haphazard strobe faintly flickering erratic static in distilled discharging of electrons in accidental orbit of a softly whispered hint of dismay every car that passes shakes the slab of reinforced concrete making my car feel like a ship tossed on the stormy seas shattering my reverie as i seek the message […]

invisible patches of black ice linger as the sunlight becomes electrified over frozen patches of yellow grass the wind hammers at the car as i drive far too fast already lost in thought as the highway blurs into a dreamshatter artery plastic bags flutter waiting for the chance to cross unabated by the semis chugging […]

listless a crushed flower pressed between yellowed pages a lingering aroma notes of pipe smoke summer’s embrace and pestilent depressive kisses of insular beauty listless in a malice swirled interpretive dance across a minefield of buried dreams from a childhood where sweet death was the only option for escape listless

the car sits just outside the sliding doors a pervasive rumble a helicopter hovering waves of sound a wall of pressure undulating as i shiver on the couch hairline fractures run throughout my skull the wind chimes gently dance a teasing airiness in an oppression of white noise my unfocus prevails in fits of innocuous […]

i am frenzy so overwhelmed the only safe response is to shut down completely i am raw skinless in saline feeling everything too deeply to ever hope to maintain sanity i am silence uspoken prayers divine disinterest a human armadillo hidden in dream

the silence is smothering as the snow falls no cars driving no planes above everything is still earlier it was a symphony of sirens as the rain fell now there is nothing but tiny crystals slapping the window i hear my heart tapping out a serenade in desperate thumps sleep feels far off as i […]

some nights the graveyard in my hollow skull is far too active phantom smiles from the great beyond call to me as i try to find rest and i cannot rectify the pearly teeth from the maggots writhing in decay an amateur medium channeling spirits shaking fingers on the autonomous planchette as it slides swiftly […]

i am a minimalist in aesthetic which translates somehow into my feelings being minimalized as well instead of wasting time i write poetry no one reads and dismiss them myself because, by nature, i aim to please

there is a senseof palpable panicas the temperaturefalls along withfrozen flakes of snowstanding in the coldmy belt and shoeson the conveyorholding my pants upas they examine eachof the tools i carryquestioning everythingas they explain thateveryone has been toldto stay off the roadthe court buildingfilled with angry faceschapped from the windthree hundred soulsseeking passports toescape this […]

droplets of water refract the light in prismatic dismay through the complex interwoven strands of the spiderweb hanging beneath the yellowed plastic over the florescent tubes i can’t fathom where the balls of liquid beading on silk could have come from three levels below the storm raging above no drips from the ceiling no puddle […]

the sound of the tires on the road beneath me after the epectric engine takes over the drive reminds me of the trains that used to pass outside my bedroom window as a kid there is a sickening feeling being awake yet paralyzed by the memories of youth half expecting the next sound to be […]

the weathermen say another storm is coming but all i had to do was listen to the birds they trill frantically of seeds hidden and shiny things now lost we sing to each other over steaming coffee and wildflower daydreams as the temperature falls beneath an indifferent sun knowing this too will pass but fearing […]

took a series of selfies but couldn’t recognize the person staring back from the screen did this dullard with a forced half grin a vacancy where i suppose a soul should reside reflected tepidly in watery eyes from another fit of sobbing truly believe he could ever be any of the things he dreams? my […]

i have poured every ounce of myself to form a quivering foundation on which this house of cards tormentedly shudders ill equipped to face the howling winds in this disregard to the decrepitude of shimmering insignificance does a pebble long to rejoin the mountain lost in tectonic upheaval among the gravelly detritus of hope does […]

playing second fiddle in an orchestra of one out of tune accompaniment in sour notes of flaccid failings a footnote on a wall of hastily scribbled declarations forgotten in the metaphoric splendor a whisper floating in the claxon of sparrows unintelligible drowned out in the act of negligible returns

hungover on these insipid sorrows that inebriated my scattered heart incapable of finding my footing as the rain washes out the choir of chriping birds wrapped up in gray uncertain of what it is pulling me deeper into this fugue how many times did i sleeplessly send my adorations out into the emptiness as sleep […]

i drift alone in a paper boat on swollen gutters as shadows flick lit matches at my ship as it sails on towards night dipped in tallow so the origami vessel doesn’t take on the fetid waves cursed by poseidon to sail the sewers in search of home the city lights amid a hail of […]

my madness was once a mere inconvenience until the day my father passed away since then it has been a constant struggle keeping the pieces in a semblance of working order more often a failed attempt as the mountains crumbled into the dark waters of dire depression a life lived alone whispering love to the […]

i have constructed so many walls my brain is a minature winchester house filled with dead end hallways to confuse the evil spirits seeking to take control of the cathedral heavy with wildflower petals a blizzard in hues of pearlescent pinks i string red thread in a convolution of tangled skeins and i fear that […]

today my mind is a pinwheel spinning quickly in an illusion of solidity a slurry of incorporeality a simmering swill of flashing lights standing on quicksand heartshudders wondering why my pantlegs are getting wet ignoring the sucking sounds at my feet sinking into the whirling maw of a meat grinder until all i am is […]

shining golden beacons these angels with broken wings hobbling amongst billions of indistinct tarnished souls all seeking a piece of illusionary heaven in which to rest their weary feet far from the chatter skeletal shiftings in effervescent malaise angry slashes of crimson shadowed demons scurry and skitter an infestation of dreamscarred memories promising only the […]

little footsteps echo down the empty corridors i know with all certainty i am alone yet tiny feet along with shrill giggles fill the darkness that surrounds me no matter how quickly i turn the cone of cold white light only shadows dance along the beam while children run not disturbing the dust long since […]

a scuffed leather jacket carefully folded laying next to a coffee cup on the exit ramp from 35 to hi line road there is a story there a life once lived but i’ll be damned if i can make heads or tails out of the offering as sunlight glints off of the metal studs sending […]

strung along an idiot starving on scraps following a trail barely visible among the frost coating the winding avenues in this crucible of hellish intent every road leads deeper into the darkness of spoken wishes in fevered unreciprcation where heartspasms flourish in the limbs of the dead dreamers staring up through the cratered souls in […]

the endless nothingness mocks each feeble attempt at seeking meaning dour skies of illusion a refraction of radiation through captive droplets a corruption of color disguising the vast emptiness of creation billions of blinking souls no closer than the stars to one another’s orbit drifting aimless and alone searching for purpose in green screen projections […]

he sat in his car on the roof of a parking garage controlling the storms through the thunder echoing in his mind gray swirls, swirling fluff clouds of sinuous smoke drifting in fluffy gray filled the skies around him threatening cold rain teary eyes behind tinted glass a watery view of a concrete prison high […]

i wouldn’t recognize his voice it’s been so long since i heard him but i remember his scent when he would get home from a long day of old spice marlboro reds (filters removed) and hops and barley he would start the day off with a cold one poured into a coffee cup to take […]

dressed in a malaise of poignant mediocrity bedazzled in malfeasance and inconsequentiality drowning in all of the words unwritten an empty bucket sitting in a dried up lakebed watching as the vultures circle a jigsaw puzzle of pangaea scattered across the worn beige carpet a misapprehension of subtle truth he knows he should be writing […]

there is a 7/11 store in the 7/11 corporate office an odd little minature hell of florescence and plastic a live calf suckling the teat of financial demand a parade of lovely ladies and jabbering men milling about with no real purpose as the poor bastard scrubs the slurpee machine for minimum wage an affluence […]

red tinted in a chaos of indiscriminate wind chimes i woke from a subaquatic dream gasping in sheer panic as my heaving chest pulled in lungfuls of arid desert air sharp gravel in a dehydration of formerly submerged bronchus flopping on this too large bed of russet coral spasmodically to the orchestral clanging outside in […]

thelonious monk plays the sounds infusing the empty lobby of the building under renovation punctuated by drills the circular saw plays a triumphant solo against the backdrop of the black and ivory magic still penetrating the endless din of workers i find myself enthralled by the paintings with clever names like diversity and effusion in […]

pensively sitting three stories below ground in an oddly immaculate parking garage unsettling in the pristine unstained concrete clean white walls and bathed in utter silence a naked mole rat seeking answers in the subterranean pulse of the city perfectly still attuned to nothing an impoverished under allocation in the seizing bowels of dallas remembering […]

in defiance of gravity’s demands hovering incidentally above nucleic dissonance hoarfrosted tears warble drunkenly from sightless cataract contractions piercing rays assaulting in a fit of optical resentment simmering discontent in orgasmic defeat the sun peeks out dismayed by wobbling revolutions in oily revulsion a dissolution of morning as laid out in cosmic apathy another star […]

icy plumes of indignation erupt along the cratered soul of poetic insignificance blossoming upward billowing quills in frozen deference a billion crystals reflecting solar radiation into nightflowers of spectral indifference a hailstorm of ivory feathers drifting as angels battle the demonic hoards amidst geysers of plasmic interference the dead touch in an absence of divinity […]

je suis plein de regrets vides enveloppé dans effigies de laine d’acier bruni par baisers sanglants avec un cœur switchblade si vous avez besoin de moi ne pas je suis une source de frustrations étroitement lié par mauvaise nouvelle sur un brise du nord catastrophe sifflante dans une vacance de bonnes intentions un corbeau battu […]

a corpulence of inebriated desire festooned with baubles carved from the husks of dreamroaches in stagnant malaise spilled out to stain the marble floors of a cathedral in the throes of a sinful fervency these agonies will not endure themselves lines of crimson running down the pale indecencies of the moon a cracked mirror reflecting […]

the last thing someone struggling needs is to be told it’s all in their head especially when every single fucking day is a battle against the things that have taken root inside if i could ignore it don’t you think i would? who chooses to live doubting every feeling because yoyt don’t know if it […]

been surrounded by these snakes so long he wish he could shed my own skin like them leave behind a hollow reproduction escape into the woods fresh pink skin glistening in the wan moonlight as it shines through skeletal branches to disappear far from their slitted pupils watching every move waiting to strike out cold […]

falling into the heartbeat of insubstantialility the universal throbbing pulse coursing underneath paper machè facades hiding the abyss roiling in shades of echoing wonder pulled deeper along the invisible currents swirling insoluble desires forming layers of silted strata to document the tribulations for future explorers to witness the folly in mortal failings a series of […]

it took mea few minutesto realizei was homethis morningi lay in bedmentally preparingfor a drivei didn’t haveto endurethe road dust ofa thousand mileshanging to mestill after amorning showerlost in the gritof border townscombined withsandman’s dustin unsleptexahaustion itchingthe corners ofmy hazel confusion coffee is brewingthe birds remain silentbeneath a tentative stormthe same shadeas the blanketstangled aroundunresponsive […]

i didn’t know i was crazy for the longest time i just thought everyone felt everything as painfully as i always have thank the silence that wasn’t true knowing i am a bipolar mess doesn’t make it feel any less intense it just lets me know it is choppy waves and the sky is (probably) […]

the trip down to the border left me a bit over stimulated a hundred lines interlaced four hundred miles bleeding into one another as i try to pluck the threads oatmeal and raisins dark roast coffee roaring engines slamming doors down endless hallways i prepare for the next four and half hours driving to the […]

i felt as if i were a great explorer a modern day samuel clemens rolling down towards the mouth of i35 to see where it spills into mexico captaining a hybrid down the asphalt scar separating the brown from the endless brown my own mighty mississip falling into delusions of twain like wonder i left […]

a series of pawn ahops billboards for attorneys brightly colored buildings in sullen disrepair then the largest cemetery bright blue holy mothers rows of white carved crosses a cornfield in grabite repose stretching for miles before the pawn shops billboards for attorneys brightly colored buildings in worsening state of disrepair am optical illusions dotted with […]

he was nothing but a deflated balloon hovering above the dirty carpet every word he said left unacknowledged brought him farther from the skies the leaden weight of his own overflowing insignificance pulling him toward the hell he sees in the streaked mirror as he tried to find a road leading home in a confusion […]

the same basic blueprint exists for the series of one way streets in a typical big city downtown is a warren of rat tunnels half chewed through the yellow bricks all exactly the same with new marquees and construction to fuck it all up small roads made even smaller by concrete barricades in uneven lines […]

it’s unfair to judge a land in the south by its winters countenance it all goes flat ugly tones of brown gone the verdant fields the lazily swaying leaves as if all hope has been bled from the soul of the land upon entering the lovely town with a lazy river willows weeping into the […]

i stayed up all night with sylvia listening to cars racing up and down 35 as she waxed on about silvery light at some point listening to the hotel’s ambient noises i woke up hank and he told me about betting on the trifecta to win a roomful of prose bouncing off the walls as […]

i am unsettled. beset by anxiety. mentally on empty yet driven by demons of incessant worry. in the hours between declarations of love and actual sleeping i retrace my every move shifting from side to side a surrogate pillow clutched close as the universe chuckles at the foolish insomniac. i am exhausted. yet beset by […]

the dining roomof the drury innis a dreary placewith mispy soulscongregating tiredly they are miserableno happy vacationersjust lonely workerstoo many mulletsand not enough hope i am just happyto not be alonewhich speaks volumesi’d rather notcontemplate tonight the scenic view ofthe back of a home depotthe sounds of enginesand driving bass thumpingas i lay in the […]

a curious case of road hypnosis wrapped in the unmistakable lavender cushion of clustered achings i follow the hawks the sparrows on the fences listen to the words streaming in sparks down the i35 corridor if i have learned anything it is that as the crow flies means lazily trapped in circular reasoning distracted by […]

knotted upa ball of wormswrithing in a permanencyof anxietiesan intimate understandingthat these feelingswon’t minimizethemselves. sitting aloneon the windowsillsinging softlyto call forth the sunto burn awaythis indelible fog ofcold memories tracingover unformed scars. an absolution inheartplucked miseriesflat notes fallingover a deadend vistaan altered altar ofambivalent silencesa congregated agonyin shuttered remorse. a slickof dayglow sickover cloudy pools […]

words flit in pieces through the hollows of my soul stealing shiny bits to build a nest in the curve of a floating rib to sleep to dream burrowed deeply into this abstinence of light etched into moribund marrow lost in sullen recirculation misformed cells in cancerous disarray arterial plaque in semi-poetic disdain a systolic […]

she talked soincrediblyslowlyi feltmyself dyingin betweenwords i swamin a bottomlessswath of eternityas she droned oncursing the dayoverladen withanxieties as mydragonfly wingshover innegative spacesjust east ofexistence i question ifi am even herewhile the elevatorlost track ofits only passengertaking me ona convoluted tripto every other floorbefore i was entangledin amber dissonance she repeatsinslow motionthe samephrase untili can […]

an uncertainty trembles along the concrete surface a burst of static in a decrepitude of nostalgic malaise a wobble undercutting the stabilty a faltering faith in misunderstood dreams of thermodynamic philosophical flaws hobbling painfully swerving between these nestled disasters seeking real time solutions to ancient denials in this abandonment of desire

the aftermath of winter’s frozen embrace overflowing dumpsters glittering shards of glass on the side of the road cascading pinpricks in sunlit disregard trash blowing over brown fields hardscrabble growth too stubborn to accept harsh realities where frozen soil and fraudulent promises of sun dappled kisses add up to a meaninglessness of dashed hopes reaching […]

when she closes her eyes he is the only thing that ceases to exist a case of reverse solipsism a half life of unreturned devotionals in a mute world where nothing truly matters a dry riverbed where the cyclical flow no longer feeds the source leaving a jagged scar to cut across a land of […]

it isn’t difficult being a good person it can be inconvenient and that is more than enough to deter most from bothering i prefer the company of stray cats old drunks and children they are exactly as they seem living life unapologetic to perception i astutely avoid a convenient death asinine in my own stubborn […]

everything is off not enough to be obvious not extreme ever so slightly two degrees off track barely a blip but if you pay close enough attention it isn’t quite right i fear i am vibrating just out of sync causing this theoretical fluctuation an atomic division a confusion of inconsequential derision god sits fingerpainting […]