circling the truth

she smiled at me
a glass of wine in her
lovely hand
curiosity sparkling
as she watched me
i waited
as the words
sharpened themselves
on the strop of her tongue
“what does a fool think life means?” she asked

i sipped my whiskey
she knew me better than i
ever took the time
to learn myself
she already thought
she could pluck the words
from my tongue before i spoke them
she expected me to rattle off
a typical list
that life was a means
from point a
(leaving the womb)
to point z
(entering the tomb)
with flowery sentiments
about seeking love
chasing dreams
and wine and sex and laughter
filling the gaps between

i refilled her glass
as she grew impatient
refilled my glass
sipped contentedly
then i shrugged ny shoulders
“life is a circle”

she frowned
“because it starts and ends in the same place? that feels rather tepid, a nonanswer. where is sex, drugs and poetry in this circle? don’t all poets ponder the meaning of life in order to justify wasting what little of it they have?”

i smiled
draining my glass again
“maybe the good ones, or the new ones that haven’t truly lived. the ones still trying to make an impression with flowery words, seeking grains of beauty in a landslide of ugliness. life is a circle, plain and simple”

she set her glass down
and glared at me
an eyebrow cocked
as she sought the game
i was assuredly playing
my eyes locked on
the glass with her lips
in bright waxy red
clinging to the side
wishing the crimson streaks
were all over my throat and chest
“that is it? life is a circle, no further explanation necessary?”

i leaned over
placed my hand on her
firm upper thigh and squeezed
“it is a circle, because it has no point at all. what we do until we die means nothing at all in the grand scheme of things. chasing after the carrots on sticks to make a rich man richer, writing meaningless words in a jumble and hoping someone finds something deep within to cling to, to shine a light on their own miserable suffering. we fuck, we fight, we bemoan our inadequacies, we die, thinking we will leave a crater visible from space with our passing, yet the only sign we were ever here is a dying planet and a series of potholes ruining someone else’s smooth ride”

she smiled
“so that’s it?”

“that’s it”

she finished her wine
and stared at me
“all this meaningless then?”

“afraid so”

“so we are just killing time?”

“until it kills us”

she sighed
“then we should probably move this party to the bedroom, before it does”

2 thoughts on “circling the truth

  1. This is so relatable – my S.O. always says “life is a circle” to me 😄
    However, the words you write are not meaningless, because I found and read them and they did made a difference, even if very small – I took the time out of my morning to write this comment, while I could have been doing something different with my time. So, at the very least, it changed the course of my day.
    Thanks for sharing 💙

    Liked by 1 person

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