red clouds in static

i stalk
throughout the apartment
trying my best
to not wake the kids
as i prepare
for another day at work
my head throbs
as the coffee brews
the sky is still dark
a hostile red tinge
glares angrily through
the open blinds

slept for nearly
three hours last night
not consecutively
that would be asking
more from my madness
than anxiety allows
fragments of broken
dream still stab
glimpses of acceptance
unspoken declarations of
love with no end
of hopes unfulfilled

it grows darker
the crimson glow permeates
the skies above
weeks of quiet longing
an inconceivable weight
of my own unimportance
a wraith drifting
through this unending
reciprocation of
half sullen silences
tiredly creeping through
a life unlived

occasional wind chimes
in a static of
repeated birdsong
an armageddon of calm
sadistically promising
storms unrelenting
sipping coffee as the
dull ache hammers
whispering adoration
so as not to disturb
this stasis of my own
supple nonexistence

i stalk
careful to not awaken
the kids snoring softly
draped in longing
as i feel myself
tumbling out of view
preparing for another
long day of
going nowhere yet
managing to fall farther
from the light
hidden behind red skies

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