is there any worse possible fate than to be a self aware ghost haunting an empty apartment as life goes on outside your door to be remembered as something i was not from the safety in the greener pastures of tomorrow’s rot a chained phantom unable to escape the clarity of hindsight while old flames […]

children are honest and loud new pilots in awkward meat rockets as yet unashamed of who they are the world hasn’t snuffed them out like a cigarette butt beneath the boot of bastard time everything is new and they revel in the experience of being alive as adults we chase after love desperate to feel […]

the main struggle with being alive is the constant feeling of being dead inside they don’t teach you about this in school they make you memorize dead men’s names and teach you how to write out your own never mentioning that one day you’d be just as dead yourself but no one else would have […]

so muchof the cityis decrepitbarren landfilled withempty buildingsif you onlydrive thehighways themirage remainssomewhat intactbut i drivethe backroadswhere rustis prevalentamong ruin every flowerthat pushesthrough cracksin concreteis a reminderthere is joyin birdsongeven as decayfeels constanti lose sightin my tired angstso i travelmy aching chestseeking salvationsin the desolatecorners of townlooking forflashes of colorin an oceanof cardiac decay

waiting out the rain in an empty parking lot a vast expanse of empty gray above, in front, inside all drenched in unwanted damp a hollow drip of nothingness rudderless in the face of a terminally bleak lightless day

she saved her deathbed confessional until the last possible moment her burden left unspoken until letting the truth exhale along with her stain glass soul to sputter out into the void no longer concerned with repercussions or the pain expelled onto the world in her passing

rain falls from the melon colored sky a confusion of precipitation in the bright bowels of hell as the sinister sunlight casts inverse rainbows on a city of ruinous dread

in those fleeting seconds where the day coalesces with the death of sleepless night anything can seem possible in strained notes of anticipation before the sudden weight of wakefulness expels lingering dreamwhispers from the tongue of insomnial murmurings momentarily plucking the larvae twitching in dream catchers as reality falters under its own devastating gravitational pull […]

there is an elasticity in emotions that begins to wear itself out as they become stretched out as we worry around the edges like the neck of a favorite shirt hanging sloppily the comfort grows tattered as it is taken for granted no longer does it cling tightly until it is nothing but rags a […]

the stormswept over theclustered apartmentscool air blowingthrough the screenbetween bright flashesand low rumblesthe gentle downpourfalls in aa discordant harmonyin odd synchronicitywith the music playingbass pulsingsending ripplesacross red wineover as soon as begantraffic racingthe wet roads addinga faint buzzin the now silentmoment as dayfades into eveningthe yellow grayslowly going full darkthe paper maches heavenshidden above cotton […]

i write all of my i love yous in permanent marker across my whiteboard heart painting your name in pastel as your words whisper in electrified cursive along my every nerve as i try to remind myself i need to breathe falling farther into you with every stray thought as the marker squeaks upon the […]

smoke hung heavy hints of red and blue in a demon cloud of roiling black malevolence stinging the eyes burning airways as the traffic light in muted red swayed in the billows i tapped my hand rhythmically against the steering wheel the music thumping just beneath claustrophobic panic encased in this volatile inconsistency trying not […]

i can feel her lying close though the bed is empty a pile of pillows sheets tangled around my legs as i squeeze my eyes shut against the glare of the blood red sky streaming into the silent sepulcher of this room a mist fills my pounding skull swirling about the unrelenting voices chattering beams […]

when will we be forced to excise civil from civilization where we finally acknowledge it holds no meaning to describe the ferocity of humankind the news is nothing but a paid advertisement for whichever fallacy you choose to subscribe an echo chamber bloviating in an endless cycle reminding you the other side doesn’t think like […]

we chase a future we will never see while the past clings to our souls like so many barnacles on the hull of an overladen ship taking on water just too far away from the port so much of our effort wasted in a futile attempt at shaping a tomorrow that likely never comes while […]

a thin veneer of stick paste spread across the cracked countenance staring back in crumbling effigies of trying to pull together a seemingly lifelike mannequin’s smile the light shines through the vacancy in spatial relations where time has chipped the sediment of intentional sentiment into a weathered face of craggy disbelief in static wonderment creaking […]

my friend believes i need to get a pet she called my loneliness catastrophic i countered by asking if i can barely find the will to keep myself alive why would i want a poor animal to suffer as well then had to explain it isn’t loneliness it is madness and that catastrophic barely touched […]

i dont know when the sparrows were replaced by the crickets i found myself lost in kerouac breathlessly reading a single paragraph about neal cassady when i noticed the sky was dark and sylvia began to whisper in my eager ear i have drifted between time dilation in relationship to gravitational flux and learning about […]

the moon is a lie a pockmarked paper mache satellite hung in the sky to add an illusion of depth to the blank ceiling of this wobbling penitentiary the stars incandescence leaking from the cell above twinkling as the inmate paces back and forth from bunk to toilet sink in a futility where madness blisters […]

sprawling limbs bright greens brittle browns conspire against the alabaster bricks an effusion in natural destruction clawing at mortar a degradation in stability with thorns dripping poisonous ostracism in an overgrown manic mayhem of insidious growth a reclamation of stone bones an internment of fickle whims in terminal deposition in feral conjunction with stark design […]

fingers of sunlight entangle the lazy spiral invisible clouds an amalgamate of dusty silver bespeckled in the alluvion echoes of an infant crying fiercely torn free of sleep the last vestiges of the ever comforting void jettisoned apathetically in exchange for a harsh lesson learned of the inevitable disappointment in this sphere of disingenuous distillations […]

i dreamt of that goddamned shiny red firetruck again last night telescoping ladder bit of white lithium grease on the crank reflective chrome on the rims and oversized bumper too hot to grab in the smoldering ruins of home bright lashes the snap of plastic on malleable flesh hot tears evaporating as they touch the […]

a grimace etched through the crimson flood pouring down his lips a half drowned gasp as the thunder pummels behind his sparrow bone skull i watched curiosity and horror intermingled as he tore at the gray flesh cracking his breast open to wrench the sputtering half seized valves of his own picayune value to spray […]

my eyes openedof their ownvolition at threei did my bestto lasso sleepbut that shiphad long sailedand my bladderdecided toinsert itselfinto the conversationso i shuffledsullen and slowdown the hallthe dim blueglow of the bowlguided me as itried to convincemyself that sleepwould be a goodnext step to pursuea faint movementcaught my eyesat the bottomof the bathtubtwitching legsattached […]

dreams are just your mind recycling the hells of yesterday they are not beacons lighting the way to tomorrow i don’t believe in much but i always believe in you

she cast him away another stone sent skipping across the waves now she swims out unable to differentiate all the sunken lovers in the silt seeking the one that gave everything only to be carelessly pitched into the brine as her alligator tears churn around her a desperation for what was thrown aside the distorted […]

an eyelash in my eye socket every teary blink is sandpaper blurring out my vision a pebble in my shoe every awkward step a blister upon my sole a blockage in my artery every straining beat closer to a fatal infraction an overdose of memories in my fleeting sleep wind burnt from tossing and turning […]

dreamsplinters plunged deeply into the prismatic diminishment of distilled distraction a dire sense of life ebbing away shuffling among the morose comatose as machines wheeze in a disturbed travesty of purloined peace an ocular omission in squiggly lines swimming in a mercurial fount shifting perspective in upside down mistranslations pinging rods and cones shivering synapses […]

wilting curling up in upon myself in a contradiction of malfeasance crisscrossing spectral insignificance with a yearning for the salt on your flesh tasting the air for a hint of home on the howling gales a cyclone of whipping petals slashing angrily across an empty afternoon on the pothole ridden streets a calamitous convergence of […]

my mind can unwind the gordian knots along your supple spine but my fingers fumble when i try to tie my shoes as if the disconnect between will and ability is irrationally severed the slow degradation of indecisive waking after so long sleepless has permeated my hands with the same paralytic that keeps my tongue […]

sitting alone in the stark nudity of dawn sunlight illuminates every blemish each trailing scar the slick streaks down weathered cheeks as the coffee sits untouched steaming morosely into the stagnacy of shattered repose mockingbirds roost sarcastic dimwits singing the songs they never felt never understood but seeking the same response in pallid echoes i […]

i have always been partial to moths over butterflies there is something in the muted tones of fluttering wings as they dart around the heavy sodium glare a hopeless curiosity consuming their short existence velvety browns and noble grays unpretentious compared to their daylight cousins but there is a profound beauty in plain hues a […]

the brown grass is green and the bluebonnets blossomed to cover the side of the highways with purple oceans waving in the warm breeze spring has sprung as the world alights with verdancy beneath heavy rays of golden saturation it happens in the blink of a tired eye the land reborn as winter still grips […]

i will race across the city from traffic jam to traffic jam only to sit in a parking garage watching birds in a constant cycle of going nowhere to accomplish absolutely nothing except be alone with a different view no music playing just the same feelings of reckless self endangerment as the ground shakes with […]

her scent reminded me of a library yellow pages filled with mysteries that would take a lifetime to fully reveal i grabbed a tome hoping to unlock those secrets dancing behind brown eyes only to find my feeble understanding of language unburied questions i could never hope to answer with shaking hands i opened each […]

i had to read myself last night in order to proof the newest collection it felt as if i was watching footage of an accident in slow motion as the car smashed itself into a wall the driver pulled himself free of the shattered glass twisted steel got into a fresh vehicle rinse and repeat […]

a point is reached when you have disconnected from the world long enough when the need to be needed becomes so painful yet you’ve closed all forms of communication and no one is there that you have nothing but your thoughts multiplying magnifying an echo chamber of dissonance growing louder and louder until you can’t […]

there is a hopelessness that slithers about the pit of roiling cold tentacles gripping every shallow breath as sorrow throttles a faltering heartbeat into a soulful dirge as you sit wondering why you’re never quite enough an afterimage in pixelated dismay a blurry orb where a person should be occupying the space between sighs shriveling […]

i am tired that’s all finishing second if even being considered at all it makes me feel sick all the wasted effort for zero return i am tired but who really fucking cares

driftwood on the ephemeral waves of consciosness in retraction overwhelmed by the grit blowing from the distant shore held aloft in enigmatic denials where whimsy coalesces in tidal ebbings of coarse dreamdander the hushed ringing church bells in falling snow the slapping sting in waveless diminishment echoes of laughter undercutting murmured loveblisters

if you don’t have anything nice to say bury it in metaphor then your petulant rage looks pretty as it drips down the page the wrong people will think it’s about them and the ones it is about likely don’t read you anyway or their egos can’t let them accept they are the subject the […]

there is a sullen bitterness in being constantly excluded that lets you see exactly where you stand in the small details of the lives you are not considered part of a separation of the waters above and the waters below when the scales have been shed from your vision and the unfortunate truth is you […]

innocent starlight trickles in fits and starts against the gaping jaws of dawn yawning miserably over dreams where concrete and rust oversaturate fell horizons the chimes along with the sparrows seem hesitant in nascent plumes of high pollution discharges air thick with voluminous tidings of litter and pollen cars speed by in faint sputters unconcerned […]

honeybees will swarm a hornet and while the bees have no stingers in which to defend themselves they have learned to ball around the invasive predator and flex their flight muscles generating enough heat to cook the hornet alive there is a lesson here of the seemingly defenseless majority banding together to defeat the ruling […]

sorrow and joy come over the hill hand in hand skipping merrily a cloud of locusts mauling the topiary leaving naught but broken branches stretching upward toward the vacancy in god’s dead stare behind them whales decompose creating new ecologies next to pools of brine small lakes settled at the bottom of the oceans where […]

i should be working instead i find myself lost in the trees songbirds adding their dulcet tones to the beastie boys as we plot self sabotage on the winding trails around man made lakes once endless plains now pods of condos ugly concrete breaking apart the reddish soil strip malls half empty as a pandemic […]

i treat everyday as the last one but being a cheerful dreamer has always been a fatal flaw of mine and the fact that i dont sleep has made this last day a continuous hell of unfulfilled need wrapping back in upon itself until even the hopefulness that death must eventually bring an ending to […]

i wish i were the villain all the good lines and the attention always goes to the bad guy while bit players like myself are left on the sidelines watching the story unfold i would twirl my mustaches as i hatched my next nefarious scheme rather than being given no backstory and disappearing before the […]

the faster we move the slower the passage of time so a moment in mania is an hour in typical time dilation but due to the gravitational anomalies inherent in depression i have lived a dog’s life in miseries while sitting perfectly still mathematically an eternity spent counting down to an ignoble end in conclusion […]

she rolled in like yesterday’s storm a hint of rain obscuring an otherwise clear day

the black glass eyes of the taxidermied minature brown horse seem to see through me soulful in an eternity of sawdust repose standing next to a sign that reads ‘pistol pete’ a toy gun half buried in a the rocks piled carefully around the tiny hooves forever yearning to take one last step but denied […]

tiny cuts whittle away leaving a pile of shavings where a person was once carved from the nothingness in which we all yearn to reincorporate the specks of souldust memories casually shed in a whirlwind of disinterest folding in a sheet of paper denying physics to become smaller and smaller a diffusion of light under […]

a human contronym bound to the highway seeking firelight to guide him home bound in barbed wire trapped motionless in rusted dreamsplinters a discombobulated spirit moving too fast slowly wasting away from enforced fasting a contradictory stain ruining the canvas yet with a glimmer of something in his amorphous sputtering given to bipolar opposition as […]

the rampant sorrows have relinquished their grip on my aching ventriculars and i have settled back into my place of forgotten necessity hidden away a blank verse fallen down between the margins two weeks until fleeting light shines on the cut character relegated to a undefined footnote in an otherwise glorious tale of villainy and […]

i had never seen anything as desolate as the milk white eyes of the corpses staring at me from the river’s bank a flash freeze swept through my veins as the hunger radiated and every head turned to stare at me in piss stained pants breath caught in the back of my throat as a […]

i have spent the entriety of the day trying to perform a magical feat it has been rather slow going you could say i wouldn’t but an argument grudgingly could be made nothing has happened thus far but i have given it considerable consideration spoken to my most trusted and unbelievably beautiful advisor perhaps magic […]

i suffer from foot in mouth disease and an unfortunate suicidal streak shooting myself in the same foot i choke on with every sudden expellation unthought until spoken by this traitorous tongue i am just as shocked and disappointed by the things i say as my unwitting victims my teeth grind as the self sharpening […]

the dishwasher hums as i sit with eyes closed the sunlight red against clenched eyelids the sound of the womb reverberating rhythmically after a morning of frantically silent scrubbing cut the dream from daytime wondering who exactly others think i am when most days are spent uncertain myself chained by expectations as manic dips back […]

i am terrible with names abhorrent with faces but i never forget a rhythm or a feeling the words may escape me but the scars have a unique texture as i run phantom fingers over the tender spots similar to the fireworks of synesthesia that explode when i close my eyes nebulous bursts of raw […]

it is bittersweet fading the ticking tocks the clock creaks digitally toward the end vacuum seal me hang me in the back of the closet mothballs clanging in my pockets as i wait to flip the hourglass on its head once again i have been constantly on the move making gumbo cleaning serving now the […]

my soulsilt is diatomaceous callously scrubbing hope of any surface in which frenzied fingers can find hold slipping through the hadal zone in a lightless world where an overabundance of icy acidic waves ten thousands times surface pressure lovingly crushes hollow daydream giving form to all new naturally occuring terrors proving life even one unlived […]

this morning was a flurry of chopping celery onion peppers the ramones singing dancing alone preparing for the day in a forced movement of necessity draped in longing yawns i sprang up nude unslept and undreamt a twitching caricature of restless ambition aimless and gaunt as the cobwebs buried the sunlight in dusty misapprehension cutting […]

five paper napkins in an empty brown field tumbling about in the steady gales amorphously shifting and every now and then the wind gets beneath one and i smile so big at the momentary flight i didn’t stop to consider that playful scraps of paper weren’t cognizant of the wonder but the second the errant […]

i never have to wait to regret things until the morning the constant transactions of disaster keep me regretting things all night long

stuck in the midst of the breakdown the life defying daredevil in a rhinestone jumpsuit sitting in traffic the oversized helmet slipping to obscure my hindsight as i careen off of the median trying to send one last frantic text needing to be ignored one more time before i take the last exit leaving civilization […]

we are never aware of the happiest moment of our lives until the inevitable breaking down begins and those rose colored glasses slip on to reveal in hindsight we threw it all away if we were alerted somehow the moment was upon us we would likely fuck it all up leaving another memory to dissect […]

never given my confession to a man of the cloth unless the cloth was a bar rag because i have poured myself out to a few bartenders throughout my time an exchange of libations to numb with problems to mull over in the amber depths of a series of shots where the answers never change […]

she sat stuck in traffic right behind me and as i watched in glimpses caught in the mirror she sang her heart out on the overpass where 35 crosses over to 75 i couldn’t tell what song it was just that she felt it deep in her soul and her sheer release was wonderful to […]

ever since the drive to alvord there has been nothing but trains speeding through the tracks in my hollow skull the arms come down red lights flashing as i sit watching the graffiti covered cars rumble past i could have been a decent hobo learn the secret language scratched into alley bricks warnings of dogs […]

i was lost reading a story about the devil of japan in world war two or trout fishing off a deserted farm road in rural somewhere it isn’t important what was important was the drum solo i had slipped into the happy groove of scenery let the words pull me from the room when a […]

tell me all of your secrets whisper your hidden truths unto me as your breath tickles the synapses firing in a twenty one endorphin salute to the merucrial tide sweeping along your tender perfections fill my lungs with the parts of yourself you never dreamt of speaking aloud the hunger growling in your singular bottomless […]

i sit in a parking garage watching the sparrows flit among the sun dappled branches of a glorious green oak through a shiny new chainlink fence momentarily distracted by the fact i am the caged soul while those hollow boned happy balls of fluff have a freedom i could never truly imagine i tried to […]

barely able to string together a series of semi coherent thoughts this chilly morn unprepared for cheerful humaning barely conscious stumbling along as coffee drips through my beard to stain my shirt in caffeinated auguries of a day spent spinning yet going nowhere except to get the necessary items for the weekend as the service […]

she asked me why i write the things i tend to scribble these sad little odes to the moment that dream crumbles from the waking mind the last slivers still quivering as dawn breaks the spell of winsome longing she phrased it slightly differently called most of it ‘incoherent trash’ but the feeling was there […]

the secretto anythingworthwhileis putting inthe timelike makinga proper rouxyou have todedicatean hour ofconstant motiongolden butterivory flourstirring themin a lowmedium frenzyuntil a deepchocolatepercolatesto create apot ofperfect gumbothe smallestthings makethe biggestdifferenceseven if you’relikely toburn yourselfbefore youget there

i put the manic in hopeless romantic smearing my inept heart all over the aether a ten cent poet with a talented tongue and the biggest vocabulary you’ve ever been bored to death by wanting to be a neruda but born with a face like hank and the talent of a hack hallmark dropout maniacal […]

they send messages of adoration not understanding that the words filling them so came from a monster bleeding ink from the dessicated heart of creation falling in love with the conduit expecting to light the encroaching night with the grounded wires of imagined caricatures ignoring the fact that the author is a flawed misrepresentation of […]

whatever happened to all the kids with their faces on the side of milk cartons after the hopefulness had long expired curdled dreams spent chasing ghosts the sour expressions of runaway aspirations being poured down into the darkness of the strained drains in denied restraint my inner child is a battered orphan watching the adult […]

a seething sense of simmering discontent in the crystalline skies glaring down in malicious disapproval as the ants crawl in uniform rows creeping ever closer to whichever deformed misanthropic hive of hastily cobbled plastics twitching their antennas in servile desperation to please the winged queen watching in multifaceted dismay as she flexes her viridescent wings […]

i find a strange comfort in the rumbling of trains as they mosey down the silver tracks, great metal bulls charging forward cutting through the emptiness that lays between the oases of false civilizations bustling in the center of nowhere america the great expanses where the young dreamers find themselves interred in the loose soil […]

a long drive awaits me a new town to explore hawks and crows over yellow hills with a sprinkling of green growth the soothing pull of the road to calm my too frantic state of confusion using time tested road hypnosis to get to the root of my constant disillusion the highways have always been […]

there is a strength in this fragility even though any sudden movement feel as if it could shatter me through the magic of surface tension i stay somewhat human in appearance. physics or magic, it is impossible to tell.

the way the light reflects off of the technicolor blades lazily spinning in the slow breeze feels more like a downward spiral pulling my thoughts downdowndown into the infinity that beckons in her smile the entire world is a coffin wobbling in the vacancy of celestial adoration a dead rock filled with the skeletons of […]

today i did nothing wrote nothing felt nothing ate nothing saw nothing i did nothing at all didn’t breathe didn’t think didn’t drink took no drugs sang no songs dreamed no dreams is a man the consequence of his own actions or is he molded by the things around him blame free from all the […]

three hard boiled eggs a pot of coffee self loathing interspersed with an undercurrent of piping hot rage a simple morning spent hungry and alone bashing my head off of the walls seeking release from the emotions that cut me to ribbons as he spits hell from blistered lips into the uncaring aether egotistical bastards […]

his craggy exterior carefully erected to hide the emotions raging in his molten core a constant struggle with the things he feels so deeply against the icy winds of blank dismissals everyday is a struggle when he cannot tell the difference between abject miseries calling and objective denials to a reciprocation of swirling blades slicing […]

i listen to the repeated refrain of birdsong seeking hidden meanings to cut through the quantum entanglement in casual causal waves afflicting my brain the universe has been calling but it doesnt stick around to leave a message at the tonal dissonance playing itself off as tinnitus ringing endlessly in the haze so many voices […]

if you ever wonder why i pulled away look back at the words you ignored to see what i had been trying to say it will be clear that i tried until i didnt. you only noticed i had left when i was already long gone.

i find there is a sanctity in loneliness far from the harsh rebuke of another’s silence a quiet desperation leaking from every pus filled pore this prison of crystallized sadness filled with the reflections of tear stained emptiness muffling the chatter outside the door picking at scabs hungry to feel yet numbed to the sweet […]

we would stand brazen in our immortality of adolescence smoking cigarettes in the pool hall listening to heavy metal as we pretended we were bad ass adults skipping school to get high as we raced to the store to get the latest album chasing the ladies and getting hammered every weekend how little we knew […]

there is a smooth transition going from open arms to ending in open wounds subtle aggressions become akin to savage attacks bountiful riches turn into a bankruptcy of emotional investment then a flurry of embers flickering in the still spring morning are the only remnants of a past gone to ashes i carry a rusted […]

i dont know how long i had sat alone in a graveyard clinging to friendships i was not aware had passed away the ghosts of the good times in spectral lines projected over the headstones obscuring the date of death letting go has always been a character flaw an inability to just let go until […]

i feel detached untethered a retina floating uselessly in the blind gaze of divinity a blight on an otherwise serene illusion a missing tooth in the smile of a pockmarked whore defiling himself for one more fix dead but feeling the spiders crawl in the pustules of forgotten scars a vestigial reminder of the subtle […]

i thought thatwhen the world endedthere would begeysers of flamestorrents of bloodlocusts and demonsgolden angelswith flaming swordsthe earth torninto chunks ofrock to careenthrough the cosmossmashing intoinhabitable planetstainting the landwith the human stain it wasn’t like thatwhen mine endedthere were harsh tonesand heavy silencethe world didn’t endwith explosionsbut with whimpered criesand the biggest kickin the soft […]

burrowing into the soft soil not seeking a way out but a place to hide from all of the things just out of his feeble grasp less escape tunnel more tomb in haphazard design a place far from the sight of those that barely acknowledged the voleman was even there to begin with if they […]

the beast is dead not fallen in battle but at the hand of all encompassing ego they didn’t even even inform me of the untinely demise just casually flung the corpse to the side of the road before drunkenly speeding away so i pour the liquor out in memorial the same stuff that led to […]

little silverwind chimes withcrystal butterfliesdangling inthe quiet night i hear the echoesof every thoughtthe burs of spurneddeclarations hanga delirium ofinchoate ragemy clay pot skullfractures as theystrike unrelenting the moonlight catchesthe delicate wingsrefracting into amyriad of frantictiny dancing spots i am the reed ina torrential galecontorting myselfinto awkward anglesbones snapping fromthe merciless windunintended consequencestearing ligamentsbroken yet […]

a subterfuge of practical irregularity a hidden symmetry within the folds of the lilac in bloom a mistrustfulness wrapped neatly in a bouquet of ichor a surge of shame filled partitioners seeking shelter in the sullen spring a field of dandelions yellow faces upturned in sweet release a broken down cart overladen with the dead […]