“I’ve decided something Mona.” “What?” “I don’t believe in love.” “What do you mean?” “I think it is fake. A sham. Created by man to control the populace. Like the Bible.” “Whoa. Like the Bible.” “Yeah. It is all mind control.” “So love and the Bible are fake.” “Exactly.” “What brought this on?” “Which one?” […]
spent the last two hours with my heart racing as i tried to convince myself i needed to fall asleep at least get a nap in i don’t know what had my mind incapable of shutting the fuck up i dozed on off more off than on brief respites i am convinced out there somewhere […]
can you hear me calling out your sweet name the desperate pleas of a man insane standing alone face upturned in the rain cheeks flushed crimson, a curtain of pure shame just a shell of a man taking the blame do you look out your window in disdain ignoring the soft cries choking with pain […]
she sat pensively, i knew the moment i saw her that i would do anything for her if she would ask it, the sun didn’t shine upon her but framed her exquisiteness, and all the words in my head fell onto the floor with my jaw, my heart skipped three of four beats when she […]
it’s deathly silent the only sound as i lay back on the picnic table is my fingers tapping the screen my heart beating in my head beating me into civility how the mind slips and slides down muddy paths next to the creek of slow moving emotional sludge a reservoir of unrequited wonder the tall […]
i went to an open mic poetry reading last night sat hunched down in the back listening to everyone spill their pain and positivity a lady sat next to me and saw my face go through the motions of emotions i had stumbled in while on a walk with no intent to read my inner […]
feel more eyes upon me daily unblinking orbs all around speak to me please i’m no boogeyman’s apprentice not a creature to be feared just don’t make eye contact known to give myself away for a few moments of interconnected ocular gazing so many new faces i’ve yet to see to caress gently with words […]
“Weekend work? Are you fucking serious?” “Don’t get me started. I had to cancel brunch with Trudy to be here.” “Brunch?” “Yes. What?” “Well. Just make up your mind. Sleep in and have a leisurely lunch or be a grown up and get up too damned early on a day off and make pancakes.” “You […]
the bird sat on the balcony railing staring into the dimly lit room it’s attention focused on something soon a second bird arrived a third ten twenty the entire balcony lined with feathered forms no noises no movement just staring through the glass and then en masse they flew away no noise except the flapping […]
“My head is killing me today.” “Another headache?” “That or there are some pissed off dwarves mining for gray matter.” “Dwarves?” “It is possible.” “Your dungeons and dragons is leaking out again Mike.” “Can I throw a saving roll against headaches?” “I don’t know what that means.” “See you figure out based on my dexterity […]
i never sought absolution for the sin of being me choosing artless crafting instead just another piece of paper on my paper maché heart and that may be where the problem lies in the indifference of unspeakable truth just a mishmash of used post it notes with your name written in various scribbles random splashes […]
the earth shudders beneath my feet the building trembles and the oceans seem to pull themselves as far from shore as possible in an instant calm falls all falls silent a pressure seems to be mounting can feel my heartbeat in my ears the reverberation sets off alarms panic rises and the air feels thick […]
she asked for a face to face to face the face i face when i close my eyes and the faceless faces of past pain stares into my eyes through tears and barely restrained restraint i strained to face disdain and stain evaluating the reevaluation of revelation and evangelical restitution she, a different she than […]
part of me knows it doesn’t matter how pure and true i feel in the end it means nothing won’t change a thing and i beg my foolhardy heart to stop stay at the edge don’t fall please it isn’t going to end the way you want it to so just enjoy the view but […]
i have taken to drinking bleach in an effort to whiten the lies, to soften the cries, in the hopes the agony dies misery loves company yet i always find myself alone ironic in the sense irony is irrationally less iron than silt tragedy breeds insolence and apathy, but i could care less, a self […]
transcendental meditation, slipping through the veil, floating through the commonality of luscious acruements and sadistic sacraments, the void and time lines of dimensional abnormalities one step out of phase, congruent inconsistencies sticky and sated, plated on copper with silver piping, tasting of blood and dreaming of supple lips, the fragrance of sweaty ultimatums, chores to […]
flipping the channels on my non-existent cable package not even sure the television is on been watching a documentary about a man living with manic depression, it is so sad, daydreaming that he sits on the couch smoking weed all day, he writes nonsense and yearns to drink himself to sleep, he is teetering at […]
I held a wake for Mona at work today. Informed everyone she had died in her sleep the night before. The boss brought in donuts and we sat together in the break room. Marie was inconsolable. “We gather to mourn the loss of my best friend. My partner in crime. Mona. She was the best. […]
it seems on some days that mark everett speaks from my own heart
she turned to face me one last time our eyes met and even through the tears that streamed down my cheeks capturing and multiplying the sunlight into a prismatic glare i saw her mouth ever so faintly whisper one last time i love you and then she drove away i wanted to scream to beg […]
was doing some shopping a chore i despise when this mother comes around the corner in a fury she is telling her daughter if she keeps it up she’ll break her arm and in the old days there was a chance she’d have to get it removed i hid a smile the little girl said […]
they come out in the night with their carts and hatchets a large diesel truck rolls down the street behind them with it’s lights off they pull the bodies of the dead and dying out of the alleys hack them into pieces and fill their carts i saw them tossing dismembered limbs into the back […]
she disappeared vanished as if erased from the face of the earth the globe feeling off balance at her absence my heart tilted to the side and all of the softer parts poured into the cavity where my guts had shrivelled and ceased to work i had not expected this disappearing act a trick houdini […]
let go of my object of rejection today, upon reflection the deflection of empty adoration was too much, spent every penny left over on a one way ticket to the end of the line, single and ready to tingle yet again that is a lie, the fool’s game of throwing open my chest in an […]
i fear i’ve opened a vein a vain, a vane, a vein vanity, venial, verity, verify sitting in a rickety car at the top of a steep incline wooden slats, metal seats, a rusty safety harness the operator smiles up at me his one tooth gleaming in the moonlight as he prepares to pull the […]
he is an origami bird folded into the form of grace but lacking in true substance a blank vessel allowed to be formed by another’s hand no one ever asked him what he wanted to be maybe he was content as a blank piece of paper wanted to be the canvas for a sketch or […]
i stand against the oak tree knees trembling holding an apple over my heart you insist your aim spot on and i trust you because what’s the worse your arrow can do pierce the soft meat of the fruit and embed itself into my chest milady your smile does far worse and with little to […]
“Guess who got laid last night?” “Oh God.” “That’s right.” “That poor girl.” “Now that is just hurtful.” “That isn’t what she said.” “Ouch.” “And again” “Okay. No need to be mean.” “That’s what you said when you pulled it out.” “God damn it Mona. You’re killing my buzz here.” “Sorry. It’s been so long […]
i feel like a balloon floating where ever the wind takes me not in charge of my own destiny pulled by a string in the hands of someone i cannot quite make out while buffeted by winds i’m losing helium slowly drifting down a lazy descent for such lofty aspirations if i could i would […]
the world was killing her incrementally day by day a little at a time carving off little bits of her and it killed me to watch it occur standing by helplessly wishing to help to hold her to let her know it would all be alright but i couldn’t lie to her hell i found […]
i dreamt and in that dream i dreamt we were on the beach in front of crystal blue water and on that beach in front of crystal blue water we fed each other dates and pointed at the fins moving about in the distance stomachs full of dates and pointing at the fins moving about […]
the moon was lined up perfectly between the buildings that rise into the sky beside me reflecting off of the tapping buildings in either side it cast three pale orbs i stared at it and felt the as if entire world was off three moons affecting the tides pushing down on me while calling out […]
if i could i would kiss you gently on the cheek and whisper sweet dreams wrap my arm around you and hold you until the alarm goes off i wouldn’t mind a face full of hair or my other arm in an awkward postition not sure i would sleep just bask in holding you close […]
the words are taking on new shapes and singing in a different tone where once there was hope and security now lies the pitious bones of a former skeletal haze the earth is marred by clumsy handfuls flung in furious motion a grave in the place of a flower bed the sweet scent of honeysuckle […]
“I’ve got a date tonight.” “A real date, or one of those sort of dates that is really an excuse for sex?” “A real date.” “With whom?” “With whom? Hoighty toighty. With whooooom.” “This is reaching my limits of interest, Mona.” “Marie in accounting.” “Lazy eye Marie?” “I like to think she is multitasking Marie.” […]
slit my throat with your casual indifference, see if it makes a ripple on the ocean of ignorant purposeful misunderstandings i’ll gladly tilt my head over the railing and see if the anemic leavings attract sharks or not in a world of insignificance, these poetic meanderings are less a pathogen than ignored symptom of melodic […]
she asked me what my spirit animal is and i said a lion she laughed at me that figures lay around all day while the lioness hunts and takes care of the cubs only getting up to fuck and feast you’re no lion i say back and thought about seemed ideal really a bone in […]
i sat on the bench outside the hotel my internment camp away from home and watched them he opened the door of the car for her and carried in all of their bags still finding a way to have his love painted across his face she beamed at him watched his every movement the glint […]
the sweet melancholy grips me i should be used to it’s embrace be able to shake it off ignore the smell of roses the gentle prick of the thorn but it has roots in my every cell tiny tendrils of sorrow it permeates my very breath she her no is it wrong to assign a […]
the morning sky was filled with sounds of gunfire as the sun sat low and watched the light dimmed in three men’s eyes due to the tension in the reservation air as the vultures circled above over the span of weeks a manhunt ensued and an innocent man would be sentenced to life times two […]
dancing from shadow to shadow keeping the time with the music in his head avoiding the stares, the mischevious eyes, the judgemental ones they wouldn’t understand this freeform flow of aquatic limbs on dry land the heaving sighs choking on air it is beyond their capacity for reason his dried up gills and dorsal finite […]
i wrote a series of dialogues with a fictional co-worker named Mona. just little things to entertain myself. this is the first. they are real stories of me and other co-workers, but with her instead. i’m touching them up because i like them. not all names were changed, screw the innocent “I quit.” “Quit what […]
the poet illiterate is in a weird place his words keep singing but his feet don’t feel like dancing to the guilty rhythm the bare nerve endings and the onslaught of salty mist is unbearable he needs more and not more of the nothing he has grown accustomed too he tires of the same unfulfilled […]
my favorite color is candlelight reflected in your eyes playing across your retina my favorite scent is you after a long day and coming in to your embrace my favorite sound is your heartbeat racing as we lay together my favorite taste is the salt on the side of your neck as i pull your […]
when i was young i used go down to rush street and talk to the whores this was before they cleaned up rush street and put a house of blues there it was a dirty little street filled with equally dirty whores that stood on the sidewalk in plastic looking miniskirts and long boots they […]
she pulled up in a hearse the windows tinted nearly opaque and as she climbed out, her legs in torn stockings and scuffed black heels on her feet, a veil covering her face to hide the running mascara with only her quivering lips exposed the black dress tight and showing off her body and not […]
no man can build a dam the rivers cannot over take, everything has a weak point, for heaven’s sake stuctural integrity, like mental stability, like emotional dependency, like factual ascendancy every thing cracks one day it starts with the hum of dissonance let that feedback build and let the torrents swirl and let the hammer […]
drag the riverbed looking for traces of you just need a clue dna swabs across every inch of razor wire woven into a still beating heart a fool proof alibi proof of a fool’s intent tracks leading off into the woods scraps of cloth torn and hanging on thorns feel sick nauseated the thought of […]
there is a black hole in my center a ravenous hunger a need that nothing i can find will satiate it’s always been there this desire a bottomless pit of want no drug nor drink can fill this churning haunting thing nothing can stay this itch in the back of my mind this emptiness of […]
the wind rattles the glass of the window and i find it kind of funny see a window means wind eye in old norse vindr is wind and auga is eye vindauga and the wind is rattling the fuck outta the eye and i lay here tired enough to pass out yet just awake enough […]
blades of sound slice through his heaving chest, an echo of the poetry that flays and filets, consternation and chills running down his spine, across his face, raw emotion and buried truth her words filled his mind lit a fire inside of him and as he lay on the cusp of giving up her words […]
as my eyes opened this morning, the chill of an empty room compounded by the fan blowing ever steadily onto my freshly shaven head, the effects of the pills that stop my ceiling staring antics still fuzzy around the edges, focusing on focusing my pupils, ever the indignant students lately, i felt as if today […]
jagged broken teeth glass covers everything like glitter after a stripper shakes her head over your lap save the mosquitos, nuke the whales, there is a feral cat epidemic like an anti bubonic plague you are my albatross, my sign of land, my lonely flying friend flotsam and jetsam and ambergris, floating whale vomit that […]
i try and make love to words because of all the lovers i have ever had the words were always the best and no matter how they cut they never actually tried to kill me i worry one day that they will leave me as well, like every other lover who has seen the real […]
can’t shake it all the time herded to the inevitable cliff through complex machinations destined to plummet endlessly metaphorically metaphysically metabolically a hyper state of metastasis methodically driven down the branching paths crooked streams subtle innuendo miniturized and magnified an extended departure to mythocracy mantled, manhandled, management, manic, maniac, mana misdiagnosed malignancy emancipate emissaries effegies […]
allow me my honesty stepping out methodically it’s just the beast in me cut off from reality awash with insanity a past of poverty flash frozen rigidity of what is and what will never be trying to sell my soul for recreational use, the wear and tear and all the abuse, the setting sun seems […]
the fastest way to a woman’s heart? it isn’t words, those have always failed me no matter how flowery even if they come from the heart it isn’t gifts, not even hand crafted with attention to detail and made from the heart the fastest way to woman’s heart is a path i have yet to […]
who am i i don’t know any more me i know the mess stress distress the urge to regress repress digress deflect the question to the uncaring void of forever the only mark a person existed is a couple pairs of scuffed up vans a vaguely human char shape on the couch spontaneously combust all […]
i don’t care anymore she is a myth, a manifestation of my sorrow and loneliness she can fuck right off along with the rest of the world checking out stop the ride i want off i’m sorry but i’m not just done with it all thanks for all the nothing trapped within a glacier of […]
an eagle up high, majesty in flight me, a mouse huddled in the thick tall bush the setting sun, purple accents of night at the edge of a cliff, fearing the push the rain falls, thick wet drops, hitting, splashing the sky spits it’s rage, of thunder, anger roaring and booming, lightning is flashing illuminate […]
i would pick you up and we could just hit the highway, spin a pencil and go where it points, leave the cares of out former lives behind stop at a sporting good store and shoplift some ski masks go on a spree rob a jeweltry store to get matching rings, like mickey and mallory […]
he carries his loneliness like a stone around his neck a wave and a smile is the best you can expect when i see him we always stop and exchange pleasantries sometimes he talks sometimes he just sits and stares at the ground and acts polite today he spoke i stay quiet on these rare […]
The water in the tub was warm, just shy of hot. It offset the numbing cold of the blood rushing down my arms. I tried to shut the water off but apparently had gone too deep and severed a couple tendons. It didn’t really matter. Wouldn’t be my mess to clean up. Probably for the […]
i asked her to put me a pedestal not a place of honor just a place far enough away that the cracks wouldn’t show with too much scrutiny a poorly lit corner at a safe distance don’t pick me up i fear the sharp edge could cut your gorgeous hands don’t hold me too tightly […]
these calloused fingers and scarred knuckles have seen some miles not content to settle in one place a wanderlust of incremental repairs that stretch the states of illinois, texas and plausibility used to steady movements mastered over time soldering components onto green wafer boards transistors, diodes, capacitors and all forms of resistance forming the pathway […]
sitting alone on the roof of my car in the middle of nowhere watching as the world ends around me it wasn’t the brimstone and fires of mythos no unshackled tentacle faced creature crawled from the abyss the skies were clear with no ever growing meteor streaking down turns out the end of the world […]
it was a dream i was there and you were there and you were there and she was there and you can fill in the who and what’s as we go i was a spoiler god but not capital g god but a god god and she was always off screen but i was searching […]
after a brief reinternment due to pushing too far too fast chapter title in my life story a quick iv bag and fresh script of pain alleviators angry stares and disbelief nurses and doctors and a general sense of disapproval basically dropped off the kids and went straight to the hospital so when they say […]
feeling erratic and circling the drain scrapped one hundred and twenty pages to start all over kaada and patton bacteria cult on repeat strings and gentle humming fill the room as words flow like blood from an open vein soothing the savagery of tearing apart a tale and building with the entrails making messes in […]
tiptoeing across the graves of the not so recently deceased, masoleums of lives gone past, gone passed, gone too soon the stench of decay like expensive perfume, permeating and penetrating and passively erasing all olfactory common scents wilted roses in a vase, dessicated and distracting from the flickering reminders of what was supposed to be […]
you see a tripwire, i see a means to an end. it feels as if society is a dogearred copy of salinger from flipping its collective shit. all the while i cut myself not to make the pain real but to make sure i am still capable of bleeding. that they did not swoop in […]
In response to Awesome Lauren, who is amazing she is prone to falling fast and hard in the blink of an eye and she breaks just as easily told me she has a heart of glass always trying to put the pieces back together again but she’s wrong her heart is made from diamond the […]
the words these goddamned odes to the only lady that sees me for me the grand dame depression every morning my eyes open and she whispers hello and holds me close and i hate her so much but she’s all i have the world is so empty and every time i see a light it […]
is it disillusion or confusion, how did it come to this, facing hard truths and the lies seem just as bad life is a cancer, we’re all just polyps, lesions, a legion of pus filled protrusions pinching a nerve and the cure is no better than the symptom i said the cure is no better […]
you came into my world a savior, an angel offering grace, a divine blessing, erasing the stain of sin from my weary blackened soul i was the fallen one, swinging like a pendulum between avarice and sorrow, you gave balance when it was needed most and now you’re gone a bittersweet memory, the faint smell […]
i could love you in ways you never dreamt of but we both know it’ll never happen some people just don’t want to be worshipped i guess i’ll be over here loving you from my corner of desolation good night
20. good bye 19. i hate her with an all encompassing fucking hatred what was i thinking i’m an idiot i love her 18. fuck i miss her 17. everything hurts reminds me of her i can’t get out of bed why would i what’s the fucking point in anything it’s all just a reminder […]
serial, milk and cereal, venereal, bumps and festering sores, soars, flying above, a dove, piece amongst all mankind, the succulent and the trucculent, the redundant ex-pundit, reluctantly repugnant and created to obey crass, immature, more machine than man, cyborg, half breed, centurian centaur, the workhorse and the buried burro singing gregarious gregorian chants, chance, luck […]
she moaned and shook on the bed of flames, lost in orgasmic shudders in the overwhelming heat, her flicking fingers fanning the fires of her ultimate desires in full fire retardant suit i watch and wish I could fall into the fire myself but this is hers, the blue flames flowing in waves off of […]
i felt the heat before i saw the flame, the sweat evaporating off my skin before it had time to bead up heard the whistle of the blade before i saw the flash of steel, coming for my throat in a deadly arc smelled the ozone before i heard the crackle, the purplish after image […]
1) i realized i am probably afraid of emotional attachment see every woman i’ve ever loved tossed me away except for one but she did everything but toss me away and then screamed when the lack of anything became too much of something and i left 2) don’t much care for heights anymore not that […]
anarchistic delinquent lack of caffeinated motivation to light shit on fire i want to stir the pot but lack the ambition today it is the deviant in me screaming for release from this procrastinating prison need a partner in crime an associate in misadventure someone to kickstart the engine and get the bad times rolling […]
she is my cleopatra the queen of denial, the lily of my mind’s eye i would erect the pyramids for her to give her shade, reroute the river water for her to bathe break my back to make her dreams come true i think she knows it she is my marie antoinette my luscious croissant […]
1 depression is like clinging to nothing 2 falling into the void with willing abandon, swimming in the cold comfort of her vacant 3 her eyes on me from across the room, burning into me, pulling me into her orbit where i am hopeless, only able to gaze in adoration before feeling the flames of […]
when i was born it took three nurses to get the doctor to stop hitting me it wasn’t until they sprinkled holy water on me that i started to cry a bellowing roar that shook the entire hospital my mother’s soul died on the delivery table they called it at thirteen hundred hours and thirteen […]
remember when i said i love you the words spilled across the silence of the room and just hung there the stillness of it all you looked like a deer in headlights and I could see you seeking any exit any path away from those three little daggers aimed at your heart shot with the […]
it is summer here yet it is winter in me the seasons at war my mind in turmoil sad for no reason at all help quiet the noise just filled with aching broken by the gears of life just fucking stop it the whispering screams seductive as it calls out leaving only tears
farewell to the darkness resting in my mind to the writhing agony that pervades every movement to the things i dreamt of in the quiet moments the echos of more subsonic insubstantial simperings subtly vanishing into the shadows a flash of light a cloud of smoke drift into the reflection of future incomprehension the lone […]
i was barefoot walking through a garden of carnivorous plants their pollen was intoxicating and i barely felt the stinging bites as they slowly consumed me piles of sun bleached bones barely a tendon withered and dried remained on i traverse inexorably drawn deeper in until the sun is blocked by the canopy of leaves […]
twice damn you sorrow depression holds my black heart squeezing like a hug taking all that is happy and filling it with sweet doubt curse you for this pain bottomless flows of sadness damn you bitterness leave me alone for one day find a new joy to smother i already know the depths of your […]
she’s got a hold of me this morning anxiety the bottom rung of depression pouring in through cracks in the dam so hastily assembled like the little boy with his finger in the dike and just as imaginary as flawlessly recreated and flawed to fail spectacularly as the feeling of dread washes over me uncertainty […]
what is it that you saw when you stared into my eyes was it hope or forever or just another lie i feel like an empty package just barely making it by beaten up in transit discarded like an ode to pomp and style how i wanted it to be you just you and how […]
got a head of bad ideas and a heart of broken promises spread the kerosene across the floor strike a match take my hand and let’s spin until the fumes makes us dizzy dance as the timbers collapse around us i’ll catch an ember on my finger tip like a firefly you look beautiful with […]
sparrows filled the air around us she stared at them in awe i stared at her in sorrow she caught my glance and raised an eyebrow in confusion i warned her not to fall in love with me it would only lead to pain and as she realized the truth of my words, the sky […]
i only eat monsanto, smoke eight packs a day, speed through school zones drunk, and am a master of barely restrained circle pit line dancing heel to your throat, do-si-do this mother fucker, i will allemande left hook you in the kisser i left many a partner swinging from the old cherry tree, spinning from […]
in an effort to be more transparent, i have stripped my skin off bare musculature and suddenly external organs impossible to hide when you leave a trail of blood everywhere you go exposed nerve endings and alabaster skeleton, the ultimate in showing off the real you i have nothing left to hide, in fact i […]
the light entered my cornea, refracted and hitting my iris like a laser it passed through the vitreous, the gel that maintains the shape and supports my retina there is was changed into an electrical surge and raced down my optic nerve my brain interpreted the signals and an image formed, this all happened in […]
i bet your lips taste like summertime your embrace feels like coming home i sit up and imagine how your lips would feel on my clavicle, your teeth on my skin it’s all i can do to not call you not beg for the chance to be yours and yours alone pent up, messed up, […]
it is just another one of those she is a metaphor for love things another contrite deluge of longing in metaphor and is given the form of her who is she she is the shadow of jayne mansfield behind a silk curtain the promise of dangerous curves her voice is sultry crackle of tobacco on […]
today’s drive was about you my unaware of my existence love masked intruder’s most beautiful girl in the world sums you up to a t it says all the things i would say to you if i could whisper in your ear who am i kidding i would sing it to you in the car […]
