it was a dream

i was there and you were there and you were there and she was there and you can fill in the who and what’s as we go

i was a

spoiler

god

but not capital g god

but a god god

and she was always off screen but i was searching for her

and i may have been insane or that is just the nature of being god

maybe capital g god is the same but the lower case gods all seem to be crazy and i wasn’t aware i was a even a lower case g

but that’s neither here nor there

like her, the her that haunts my every waking dream and now my sleeping dreams and if she takes them as well where does that leave me

am i still dreaming

oh who can tell

someone roll over and pinch me but do it lovingly and then grab me tight and kiss me like you love me and we will

no

the dream

her

i’m looking for her and am wrapped in my blanket

the blanket

and roaming the streets

and she is close

her pull in the metal filings in my brain pulling me closer and closer and closer and closer

it’s the middle of the night

and she calls out

they’re coming, run

but i have doubts until the flashing lights crest the hill and i run up a concrete ramp

and you and you are there

you know who you are and thank you for joining me

i know your names and we chat together if that clarifies who you and you are

if not plug yourself in

and you say you’re looking for me and you and you are together though i don’t know why or how

and we run into a building and there are firemen

and this is where it gets weird

er

it gets wierder

the firemen have no faces

just shadows in the heavy fire suits with the big hats pulled low

incorporeal

and we run past them into a hole in the wall which is no hole in the wall but a whole hole into reality

and you and you say you’re looking for me

and she calls out to us all

keep going

and you and you don’t care for her and that’s strange to me because she reminds me if both of you even though she isn’t real really but that’s beside the point

i ask why you’re looking for me and you say

silly, you’re god and you can stop the war

and she calls out

he doesn’t know he’s god

and i say questioningly

i’m god

and she says

run

and we do across a bridge of couch cushions and pillows into the voids

slipping and jumping and I’m laughing maniacally and you and you follow nimbly

and my blanket is a cape and power flows through me but i’m third person me not first person me so i’m watching me and you and you and hearing her

and we stop in the void of forever

and you and you repeat

we need you to stop the war

and i laugh and say

why would i stop the war, it’s great fun and i so enjoy a picnic with two lovely ladies such as yourselves

and she echoes

it’ll take more convincing than that, the mad god with the great space brain and singing words is madder than mad

and i, third and first person, realize i am a god but see the lower case and it is so

and then a great gap comes and in the middle is everything and dream me and real me know she is in there somewhere and i bound to and fro using my great space brain to bounce off cushions and pillows and yell with glee

and you and you just watch and cry in unison

then we are lost

lost

in great dismay

and she intones somberly from the aether

we’re all lost

and we bounce, you and you and i

it is great fun and we laugh and laugh as madness takes us

then i woke up and wonder at the dream

and snuggle one of the many pillows on the hotel bed and in my mind it is not her but you and you i cuddle with

and that is strange but feels right

then i drift back asleep and what do you know

i’m standing in the tall grass with my blanket wrapped around me

looking for her

the her that is the dream her

and i’m waiting for you and you to show

and she calls out

they’re coming, run

and the same dream starts again

this time i know the secrets but it plays out the same

even with me awakening at the same point

and when i wake, pillow you and pillow you are still cuddled close and it brings me a sense of comfort

and now, in the middle of the night, i scribble this out and hope

truly hope

when i close my eyes i am standing there

wrapped in my blanket

and she calls out and you and you find me again and we climb cushions and pillows into forever together again and again