still carry a beeper (metaphorically at least)

feel more eyes upon me daily

unblinking orbs all around

speak to me


i’m no boogeyman’s apprentice

not a creature to be feared

just don’t make eye contact

known to give myself away for a few moments of interconnected ocular gazing

so many new faces i’ve yet to see

to caress gently with words and kisses

longing for human contact yet jumping at my own shadow

when the fool sees his shadow it calls for six more weeks of melancholy rain and occasionally indifferent wind

so correspond

i’ll respond

be the end of beautiful silence

a new beginning of insufferable verbal congress

i have an object of ecstatic inspiration

now i just need ears to hear the raving somnambulistic weaving

eyes to gaze upon the longing and see without context

to savor the complex emotional interweaving of inane and insane and heartbreakingly plain

my beeper has fresh batteries and an always open line

nine one one me any time you feel a need

the quiet contradiction of craving human contact and curling into a ball under my desk in case of nuclear strikes to the center of the amalgamation of staggering fool and fearful bard

i once wrote a letter an an author

begging for tips on becoming as great as him

in return for earnest and unbridled adoration

i got a a standard reply with a stamped signature

at first i was awestruck

as i grew older and

not wiser per se

more aware

i realized he didn’t care about the thoughts of the child he had let die inside of himself years before

now fueled upon the drugs and public admiration

having lost sight of why he started in the first place

he had voices whispering

that needed release

well the chorus rings out in my mind each and everyday in nauseating falsettos like a castrato of the damned

no one so lonely as the one with a thousand words and no one to speak to

until i find that sleeping beauty on a bed of creeping ivy to awaken with my earnest kiss

then i shall mount my white steed and ride with her into the setting sun

and pen for her alone

sharing what she deems fit for consumption

or i fade away from consumption of another sort


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