knowing better and caring are disparate desperations

part of me knows it doesn’t matter

how pure and true i feel

in the end it means nothing

won’t change a thing

and i beg my foolhardy heart to stop

stay at the edge

don’t fall

please

it isn’t going to end the way you want it to

so just enjoy the view

but stop dreaming

it isn’t giving up

it’s giving in to the inevitable

but it doesn’t listen

sticks fingers in it’s ears and leaps anyway

and all i can do is get swept away

falling is so exhilarating

and makes it almost worth the effort

but that fucking crash is coming

i hear the wet plop of his being crushed in the gears of reality beneath me

of never will

and wish you would have listeneds

but it wants what it wants and damn the brain for rationality

there is no rational in an abstract

no defined set of rules and regulations can govern the chemical spill in my head that seeps into the ground soil of veiny vernacular manslaughter

i curse the world for making her so goddamned perfect in every way that matters

for making that stupid muscle flutter with every passing thought

she built this bottomless pit inside of a vacuum and eagerly leads me to the edge

and doesn’t know it

or does and enjoys knowing it doesn’t matter at all i’m hopelessly willing to be led

if every errant thought is of her

why does it not get tiresome

this beautiful loop of incandescent her

and i cannot stop staring

3 thoughts on “knowing better and caring are disparate desperations

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