scrutiny

i asked her to put me a pedestal

not a place of honor

just a place far enough away that the cracks wouldn’t show with too much scrutiny

a poorly lit corner at a safe distance

don’t pick me up

i fear the sharp edge could cut your gorgeous hands

don’t hold me too tightly

i’ll just end up carving you into pieces and leaving you sobbing on the floor

poison laced costume jewelry looking for the things in life he’ll never have

gaudy and morose and always alone

now if you’ll pardon me, i’m off to drown in obscurity

an on rush of uncertainty

into perpetuity

disingenuous insidious ridiculous fluidity

dripping venom and a need for love in equal acidic sprays

just enough to keep all at bay and nearly entice them in to stare in wonder at the hermit fool with pretty words and an ugly flawed face and soul

don’t feed him or acknowledge his existence or he’ll grow fat and needy on your praise

falling head over heels with every new breeze and left discarded and blowing like a receipt thrown out the window on the byways of life

so she placed me on a pedestal

and put a drape over me

forgetting where i was exactly

which was precisely what i need

just mouthing the words no one cares to hear

and paranoid they’ll be heard

don’t look too closely or i’ll fall apart and offer you my heart and soul

and you don’t want that

trust me

i’m nothing

costume jewelry that’ll turn your neck green with malaise

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