i laid awake for three hours waiting for the sun to kiss me good morning only for the skies to never brighten the same feeling as sitting alone all evening hoping i was actually real only to shuffle off to a medicated nap with a loose feeling of hopelessness blanketed over the intangibility of a […]

he was never the first snow of winter a light dusting of fat flakes viewed with wonder a celebration in frozen beauty bringing smiles to anyone’s face he is the third day of a blizzard draped in sullen gray drifting banks treacherous black ice in poor visibility on the finite edge of a panic attack […]

don’t look for me i am afraid i was never truly here just a sad figment lingering in silence a phantasmic optical delusion on a lightwave outside human comprehension the incredible unvisible man and his tapestry of woe performing for a limited derangement in spatial flux a sliver jammed directly into the eye of passion […]

it looks like rain or maybe i am looking through tears again freshly shaven with nowhere to go nothing to be just a sad sack sitting silently staring at this cumulus effect i only exist about five days out of the month then i am mothballed and hang myself from a plastic hanger that feels […]

hanging from the gallows pole cradled by a deadman’s rope as the crows wait patiently for the spasms to halt before feasting on the bulging hazel incongruence of a fool flopping one last poem a performance piece in gargled howls jerking rhythmically as the fingerbones of thanatos stroke a freshly shaven cheek bereft of tears […]

i am lost in a melancholic transition unable to stop feeling as if my worth carries a lessness people are too polite to fully articulate most adoptions in japan are of adult men a common practice to keep businesses family owned maybe i could be an heir perhaps somewhere out there right now there is […]

the sky must be beautifulwhen filled withthe embers of dreamas the weight of lossstrangles upwardsas they lose colorto settle in tiny pilesof calcified hopelessness i driftyet my floatationis only affordedby the chainskeeping me restraineda clump of kelpnever knowingthe kiss of the sunexcept in waveringsalt stained diffusionorange and whiteshadows swim above methe koi nibblingon the pollenof […]

another sleepless night pacing back and forth tryin to find that point of physical exhaustion to force my mind to hush i have cut myself off from basically everyone so i sit in a deep silence of my own manufactured woe when i likely need to be talking my way through this insanity i cannot […]

i hide my fragility behind a steely demeanor because if everyone saw how easy it is to shatter me my brittle soul syndrome would make them all afraid to look in my direction barely human more bruise than man a puckered scar on the face of beauty marring perfection with a careless disregard for aesthetics […]

i trace my fingers over the carved ivory figures finding the pawn feels most fool like of all the pieces i don’t understand this disconcerting new hand being played shuffled into the deck a joker amidst the face cards back broken by the indifferent disregard of the disgruntled dealer forgotten as soon as the river […]

a shiny red metal firetruck sitting in a burned out shell of a trailer somewhere back before life asserted itself firmly upon a child’s flesh the last remnant of innocence lost as everything went up in flames the deus ex machina separating the child that wept from the adult who barely existed still too hot […]

i function optimally on the head of a needle in the midst of a tempest in the heart of pure chaos when thought is removed from the equation survival becomes the driving urge moving on instinct as i weave the threads of fate into a tapestry of horrified yet resigned acceptance as long as i […]

the calendar has grown thin shedding sheets until one thirty one squared page remains while the mornings have grown cold in texas although i seem to be shivering all throughout the day teeth chattering as i absorb the silence of a fresh day to be spent in the same half dreamt hells eleven pages litter […]

it is release day a day typically reserved for happy thoughts a new book first time reads building up excitement instead i have withdrawn not peeking out a bit hiding in my retractable carapace i am exhausted the world has no concern for a fool lost in words at the best of times and i […]

a ridiculousnessof illustriousgrandiosities inan overtly symbolicoverly syllabicsanctimonious mess a hyperbolicperpetual notionsemiautocraticindustrious regimeof meandering musesin neanderthal moods artisanal woodshavingsof a dime storetheologian deridingpenny ante eternitieswith a trained eyefor self absorption a bipolar bullprancingabout a china shopyet no soundemanates fromcloven hooves a stomping little more thana conduit into madnessignored or misconstruedbleeding lines intoan otherwise preoccupiedexistential indifference

never one for pomp and circumstance i shed the extravagances finding life to be a luxury i cannot hope to afford snipping all of the extraneous optionals from the act of being hope and dream leeches leading to false securities pinholes in the castle walls allowing poisonous gases to seep into very necessary rationalities a […]

cannot tell if the world itself feels bound by fragility or if my latticework soul has just crumbled in upon itself on my knees scrubbing desperately to remove the stains left from the last meltdown as the next one begins flaring an inconsistency of palsied letters scrawled upon languished lividity hyperactive to the point of […]

i have kind of doubled down on my disbelief and found a strange spiritual calmness in knowing nothing matters a bipolar monk with abandonment issues at odds with my lack of material objectivity taken a vow of honesty carefully skirting the truth it isn’t what you say it is all in how you didn’t say […]

it feels like everywhere i go there are too many overly talkative doctors with heavy wooden mallets stabbing and prodding while speaking in absolute gibberish it smells of harsh disinfectant as they cinch the heavy leather tight around my chest the squeaking wheel of the gurney under the flickering yellow bulbs creating shadows behind the […]

a conjunction of catastrophes a conflagration of unaccepted culpabilities lead this ship directly into another goddamned iceberg of blurred cumbersome disbeliefs every new day brings a new variant and i left my death defying pants at an exgirlfriend’s along with most of the tip of my tongue rubbed off while doing performance art between her […]

chalky undertones override the bitter capsules of cyanide almonds and cacao a cocktail of incipient suicides steaming lazily on a cool monday morn everything smells of bleach through repugnantly dripping sinus inflammations so much pressure if i stand too fast the bends fold me into a boomerang of incumbent pains constantly returning each sleepless night […]

i need a couple bottles of wine to choke down the boughs of holly sprouting in the back of my throat this ornament of grief pushing its way upward ever just lodged sitting on the festive verge of a total breakdown i can’t cry not because i am so masculine the tears cannot cut down […]

i often findi am loststaggering aboutseeking my bearingsas they rollacross the floor directionlesson a dead seano moral compassto guide meback to the cavein which ihave stagnatedalone infor far too long if i am silentit is a reflectionof this inhumaneliving conditionif i speakit is a limpproclamationupon deaf ears i find i growused to this stateof non-existencean […]

i sit still in the darkness barely breathing as they begin to crawl across my cold flesh a coagulation of shadows ink blot nightmares at the edge of thought an effusion of night suffocating on nyx’d embrace choking as tendrils of pitch snake down my gaspimg throat laying perfectly still in the darkness unable to […]

the earth itself seems spent rotating on its wobble lethargically a blanket of silence smothers the land except for a lone dog angrily barking somewhere in the distance a figment a fragment my imagination filling in the spaces a savory sanity at the brink of madness the birds have not sang a note no rumbling […]

i have no frame of reference when it comes to my abundance of ugliness no matter what i do to change working out eating healthy when i pass any reflective surface my first instinct is one wholly of nauseous disgust my inability to see myself leaves an indistinct afterimage of ugly that even when photographed […]

the air is still the stardust of dream floats in the cold a particulate without any particular flavor crystals suspended as atoms move slower a case of pressure moving independent of thermodynamic law the nib of the quill skates across the frozen blob of ink skittering to carve a deep furrow into the nebulous ebon […]

my head isaflutter withlogical fallaciescircular logicschasing ghostsan anemic pac-mantrapped in thiselectronic labyrinthwhile king minosscreams madnessinto wellsicarus daydreamsplummet due tomathematicalmiscalculationsunable to differentiatemyth from realitylooking for answersto problems i haveno hope of solvingthe higher i climbtowards the lightthe more frost ladenmy broken wings becomein deferentialdisagreement to allthe stories force fedin the lonelinesspermeating eachpinhole in my souldizzy chasingthe […]

i feel the light slipping away dripping down into the darkness lost yet again without knowing why i am never capable of being enough as myself if i keep the receipt can i exchange this oppressive coverage of silence for a moment of much needed solace helpless for hopeful hopeless for helpful haplessly denied the […]

the shoplifted food stuff sits waiting for the stars of the show to arrive so i can snap forth from my sedentary uselessness to prepare a somewhat bountiful feast for them tomorrow i get by with a little assistance from friends that are more like family than the family i haven’t seen in decades at […]

i have a mechanical heart and a dirth of artificial intelligence so near to being a real boy except i looked up the blue faery’s skirt and she winked at me and whispered how she prefers me wooden in all the right ways leaving me as little more than a semi sentient sex doll but […]

the sky was dappled in pink and purple as i gave up on sleep to sit sadly staring waiting for the storms to roll over texas a feeling of gravel in my guts churning away as i seek motivation to put on clothes and face the faceless woe of a wednesday that wants to be […]

we all know the myth of thanksgiving a festive celebration of hardy pilgrims suffering the winter due to a near suicidal ineptitude after being unceremoniously tossed from their homes for being the people no one wants to live by and the noble savages who naively taught the parasitic invaders how to survive kicking off a […]

it is without fanfare the words at long last finally escape me no stories to tell no dream to transcribe just the crickets chirping idiotically as i search a dumpster for a packing slip sifting through the trash of yesterday’s success sinking into the swamp of today’s latest failures a tar pit swallows me as […]

i had imagined doing two days worth of work in one day would have made sleep an easy commodity as i laid in bed with nothing but my pulse throbbing in my injured thumb physically drained emotionally irrelevant staring at the ceiling the entire night trying to figure out how to escape my mind until […]

we convince ourselves our opinions are valid when the truth is we are forgotten as soon as we cease bringing value into the momentary attention i long to matter to occupy a space of importance in someone’s mind but i forget my own pathetic existence as quickly as possible upon awakening to sullenly greet the […]

it is clear whomever it was yhat designed the sleeve in which a band aid is in did not fully consider the pain in the ass of opening one simgle handed as if a cut on the fingers was a step farther than expected or maybe whomever it was didn’t consider people trapped in perpetually […]

i let my fingers trace along the bilateral incision separating solace from shuddering hellschisms in the desolation of wilted heartblossoms laying limply on the equator of my hemispherical insolent serenity my parchment soul buckles and tears rent by the jagged claws of indecency undefined as ink pools from a thousand paper cuts on the cardiac […]

i enjoy watching people succeed to see those emotions so foreign to me self confidence contentment in a job well done and the much deserved adulation rained down i wonder how it feels as a whirlwind sweeps through my barren soul to achieve your dreams my mental state is such that nothing i do will […]

the vocal minority with their sense of self entitlement screaming out is an assault upon art deciding the things they deem to be appropriate as the only things allowed and i watch artists who compromise their vision rather than lose a sale it sickens me knowing every word and image will be dissected regardless of […]

my brain is a calico cat curled up in the darkness mottled colors from significant traumas suffered concussed and softly mewling it bats at ideas unwilling to fully commit as shadows flit to draw its attention in a hundred different directions a slowly starving calico unable to find a meal lost in thoughts it should […]

i feel detached the same as the retina of god floating placidly in holy ocular jelly my father who aren’t in heaven shallow be thy grave a king undone by his bastard lung on earth as there isn’t heaven a part of me apart from me is in great distress and yet i blink the […]

my soul is vacant a ghost town slowly swallowed by the desert the green erased by a sea of brown nothing can live in this salted dreadfully still expanse growing to fill this form i have not spoken for an entire cycle of petulant hands racing around the dusty clockface my vocal chords have frayed […]

i dread the day extraterrestrials decide to make contact and humanity has to communicate the reasons we have named things we have little to no real knowledge of having to explain we call our backwater corner of space the milky way because when zeus took his bastard child to suckle upon hera’s breast so the […]

my belief hangs suspended wrapped in wire interlaced with nodules of the unanswered questions tiptoed around a latticework carefully stitched by clockwork spiders that float on half clotted dreamwound stutters throughout the rusted passages unable to get to the dessicated heart that doesn’t matter wheezing weakly leaving more of who i am hanging in the […]

she was an angel four faces hidden by six wings nothing like anyone suspected casting judgment with a fiery blade a glowing ring beset by hundreds of unblinking eyes a vessel to carry off the souls of the recently departed filled with coals from whence the flames of perdition reside she was a virtue a […]

crystals hang suspended on the cold morning air huddled over a steaming cup teeth chatter as feeling slowly runs pins and needles across bare skin pale white tinted with a hint of blue as the ceiling fan wobbles to stir fresh waves to instigate goose pimpled discomfort a spider web in hoarfrost refrain catches the […]

i pluck the frozen blossoms of laughter with shaking fingers unprepared each and every time for the burst of frigid dismay as the shimmering notes of joy shiver delicately to ring out across the blindfold of night wrapped tight across the sky

the airplanes appear motionless noses pointed up metal humpback whales sleeping in a pod heads raised to the sun hanging in the darkness so close yet so fucking far away the hawks circle the only movement i can detect as i sit mumbling tasting the words to see if they have poetry in their souls […]

i stopped interacting with the electronically altered reality unplugged the lead from my churning mind but without that outlet i feel myself slipping away my tenuous grasp on my own existence has become an overbearing silence in which i do not have any interaction with the world in any way i read and research accumulating […]

he was an angel sculpted from pitted granite carved clutching his still heart in one clawed malformed hand the birds flew to pluck at the fibrous muscle streaks of rust pooled on the ground rigorously locked in a perpetual pained scowl no tears leaking from his vacant gaze as the acid rain turns his visage […]

there are days when i choke on unshed tears where the sobs sit in the back of my throat and i long to let them spill yet they do not or will not fall down my cheeks there are days when i find myself crying as i drive overwhelmed and incapable of finding the source […]

the wind is blowing through the piles of dead leaves and if i close my eyes it sounds like waves as they scrape across the parking lot an ebbing tide of future decay in shades of browns and reds still over stimulated my mind spasms as a series of scenes plays back and forth from […]

he has been trapped all alone in a twenty story building for almost two years now he was so excited to see me to have someone to talk to and i was trying to get done then get out but i let him ramble on nodding and occasionally even smiling behind my mask seeing a […]

it appears to be raining but i cannot tell if it is actual precipitation or falling leaves thumping off of the roof of the car as i sit in silence contemplating the thunder rolling in my hollow skull the sky seems clear my eyes clenched nearly shut gives the impression of fuzzy black from tear […]

the personification of chaos irredeemable indefinable a statistical anomaly in which no one can hope to predict which way the fell winds of depressive agitation howl in any given manic situation a stochastic abhorrence spitting calmly into the open mouth of hopeful lies madly skipping backwards down a series of one way self destruction shedding […]

the black wagon rolls across the broken ground creaking timbers the snap of the whip over the determines heads of shadowed steeds death strides across the desolate plains the sun blotted out by the circling vultures following along the trail as the black wagon rolls dust billows a red cloud the dry earth bleeds as […]

there is a snakecoiled in the branchesof the rose bushlulled to sleep bythe heady fragranceas it rests amongstthe prickly thornsa serpentine heartin the center of beautylistless in the coldas the blossoms wiltblackened petalsblowing over brown grassa penitent achingsweeps the hollow wombas repentance becomesanother faded memoryetched upon the scalescovered by the first frostin the impending embraceof […]

i stare at the waves an hour becomes a momentary blip a constant confusion in foam tipped wonder i stand before a forest of broken teeth a hell of cracked enamel with dead roots rotting in the pink soil peering through a kaleidoscopic periscope lost in fractal grievance gravity jerks in fits and stutters the […]

sleepy synthesizers tickle fickle tinnitus the old man sits smoking outside coughing in time to the liquid sloshing birds tap at the door bits of yarn and shiny metal to bring peace to a nest disturbed the sand flows upward filling the glass bulb in the top of the hourglass suffocating thoughts into a roundabout […]

how long have ilaid here shiveringunable to sleeplocked in freefalldoing my besthoudoni impressionstruggling out ofthe straight jacketpicking padlockswith a one shoulderdislocated and theother wrapped tightwith rusted chains i can easily catcha bullet between myteeth but cannothold my razored tonguesuspend me in a cageor try and drown mein an old milk cani always find a wayto […]

i wish that i were invisible instead of merely inconsequential that the act of my being mattered in the grand scheme or even in a secondary act the world spins on yet i sit dizzy and alone feeling every newton of force pulverizing each wasted atom vibrating in the space i no longer seem to […]

i dreamt i lost my hoodie which in the realm of nightmares is pretty low on the totem pole of horrors but it really agitated the hell out of me i retraced my dreamsteps falling deeper into my psyche and if you think you have seen some shit it is those places buried so far […]

the giraffes at the dallas zoo are dying a lifetime spent in captivity summer tenaciously claws at random days of the week even as we fall back into darkness earlier and earlier grabbing hoodies shivering in the night as the giraffes die off at the zoo from liver failure the men stomp down the sidewalk […]

she sat outside the gas station dressed in all black sobbing alone and eating an ice cream cone i don’t know the exact sequence of events that leads one presumably from a dour funeral to the dirty sidewalk outside a busy gas station but i can see all the signs of a complete break i […]

we run the edges ofour tongues againstthe whetstones usedto sharpen the handsof the ever tickingunblinking clock faceslicing through theintimacy of falsehoodsexposing the tendernessof falling to pieces inan indecent isolation ofsullen silence surroundedby invisible tensionssending shivers to runover ample anxieties

when i was a kid we went sledding after the first real snow of the season the fresh snow sheered by the disc i gleefully spun on down the steep hill and i raced back up again and again my aunt was there with a big wooden sled with metal runners a short rope to […]

if it seems as if the entire world is out to get you when do you stop and look inside to see if maybe you’re the one creating the turmoil? how long can it be everyone else’s fault? none are as blind as those that refuse to see the world for what it truly is […]

i weepinto the sterile earthrivulets of dreamto stain the entrailsof a dying orblost midwobblein the malignancyracing rampantlythrough cosmic dismay a frozen shard streaking through the indention of nothingness rope burns encirclethe tender throat oferstwhile complacencypuckered scars no morethan costume jewelrybedazzling depressions happiness is a riverof partial desperationsa catastrophe of truthdigging furrows acrossa vacancy of aspirations […]

the light stabsdaggers into thefogbank inside myhollowed out skulltraipsing throughthe blinds as theyrustle with themorning breezean ill illuminationcasting delusionsin shadow theatrebetween eerie squallsfrozen static lingeringsa tired misfiringasymptomatically drapedin synaptical malaise i lose myselffollowing these untrodtrains of thoughta dismal illusionchasing butterfliesthrough dreamshit horrorspainting the cavesin metaphors withshaking hands alightwith painful truthsplaying penny ante pokerin pandering prosea […]

if every time someone gets drunk they become a different person then excuse it by claiming that they cannot remember the way they acted but repeat the same cycle of actions again and again with no regard to making amends it shows just how little they think of anyone else either the real person hiding […]

love is a word spoken by time where every second spent apart is a tortured eternity of papercuts along the cardial nerve half breathing in steady despair a longing so deep counted in hollow heartbeats hidden in the stuttered hands of the clock

i give you all of my pain and misery spilling ink in the shape of thunderclouds across the electron infused aether to wither rotting fruit falling to the brown grass piteous remainders of the fetid core where a fool hangs himself off of metaphorical fallacy there is no expectation no demanding succour just stop motion […]

gluttonous littlenarcissistic monstersfeeling as if theydeserve everythingtheir plastic heartscould ever desireat the expense ofany true relationshipbecause they cannotor will certainly notever see anyone elseas half as importantas they see themselvesthe harder they victimizethe louder they crythey are the true victimsthey apologize becauseyou felt that waynot because they didanything less than perfectbloated and blinded bytheir fathomless […]

my hands shake as i shave my skull filled to overflowing with patches of oh so prickly misunderstandings running occam’s razor in my haphazard holistically heuristic half assed approach to mental wellness sometimes the best of all answers is the one that carries the fewest assumptions while other times i just want it to be […]

i cannot get out of my own raging brain writing words of venomous disdain on a loop if i don’t have anything nice to say scream in lowercase and delete the poems or save them for a collection for later on depends on just how angry the bastards have made me and i am absolutely […]

truthfully, no hope is not as dead as when i degrade it the words falling over maggoty lips a false proclamation made in the insidious heartscape of denial i remain ever hopeful in the desire for hope to come happily to fruition hoping against hope for hope in an endless cycle of self delusion i […]

he staresup at the ceilingalonejust the gymnastspracticingtheir routineabove himand a skullsplitting painreminding himhe stillreluctantlysomewhat exists he givestoo muchmost likely fortoo longclinging to thebroken thingshe foolishly believeshe can putback together againclutching tightto dreamshe stubbornly refusesto admitare long deadsoot stainswhere a lackof accomplishmentbecomes anotherburden of proof he staresup at the passivejudgment ofthe ceilingspilling hispain and regretinto thesilenceforgottenalonehaving […]

the fog rose from the fields along the sides of the two lane road billowing across the dark of a sleepy dawn the whorls of white played on the chill ever present wind beckoning gently a ghost tide of glacial patience covering scars made millenia before racing the rising sun down the highway far from […]

i wake i sit in the quiet alone i write tap tap tapping spilling out as much of my ugliness as the world can ignore every single day it brings no peace of mind to the pieces of mind i can sometiimes find a fool tapdancing in the shadows of a burned out spotlight clouds […]

perhaps i amindignantfuriously passivepetulantly glaringwaiting forsomething anythingthat could possiblymake me feel more an inert sparka fleeting hopedashed uponthe harsh reefa letdowna failurea deep regretetched deeplyinto subliminalignorance an amorphouscloud of locustspetrifiedin thick amberperfectly preservedimperfections hazily clusteredphotonic disarraybounced swiftlyfrom dead satellitemalignanciesthe dark side oflunar lunacya maladjustedinconvenience a blood spatterkaleidoscopic nightmarea gentle rippleblack against blackover the stillheartof the […]

perhaps i ama pigmentmercurial blackcollecting tearsuntil astray nibplucks mefrom the jar an ebon slivera numbness runningpins and needlesdown your spinea pricklinga burninga blinding flashigniting lightningthrough codifiedheartschisms a totem carvedfrom driftwooddrowning myselfin an oceanof sublimatedpainshivers a time capsuleof childhood dreamsencased inadult realizationscrystallizedby the fadingmemory of lighthot lancesin the sullen night uncertain outsidemyopic misperceptionshoarfrost coatingthe dismissive stareof […]

perhaps i am a figment semi autonomous collecting dust until a stray thought summons me back into being a silver glimmer a tickle caught in the back of your throat a nuisance an annoyance a sharp pain running ramshackle along trigeminal nervousness an indistinct wrecking ball hanging myself in the darkness just outside of actual […]

do you remember the game where you whispered a phrase to your friend who repeated it on and on to the end of the line where you found the original words had been obliterated? narratives seem to go much the same way from the truth of events into this malleable clay in which the actual […]

the planes chatter loudly above reminscent of the trains that used to pass behind my house the sound rattles irritated ossicles but it is silence tearing me apart the day is lazy yet my mind races unable to hear the voice of the story as it builds seeds of chaos sprout in the garden of […]

i managed to succumb to sleep as the pounding drums began to rattle my skull i woke a few hours later wrapped in rain and cold as aches raced from my shoulders to my brain shivering beneath the thin gray sheet ensconced in a veil of autumn and intermittent sullen agonies the skies threatened impregnated […]

it was already one of those days where the idea of taking off my shoes leaving them sitting with a note on the passenger seat then jumping into the inviting lake from the concrete bridge spanning the shores then i found out another friend had killed himself i guess those of us with mental issues […]

the ease of capturing every single moment sharing the most minscule developments to an electronically tethered ever shrinking world makes the most mundane tasks carry an air of actual accomplishment but i think of all the once in a lifetime events lost to hungry maw of time immemorial the things worthy of our remembrances rather […]

the thin line separating capitalism from cannibalism haunts me on these two day runs without an hour of sleep defintions slough away like rancid chunks of flesh until each word is just a puzzle of disharmonic consonants like the cries trapped deep in the back of my torn bloody throat consumerism begins to fade and […]

i cannot tell if it is loneliness or depression that lovingly ties the noose but there is something so reassuring in the weightlessness the moment just before the rope snaps

she stabbed him through the heart with an icicle the perfect crime leaving no evidence she was ever there just a jagged hole in his chest from the shard of tears to confound the police it was ruled suicide self inflicted by a fool who dared to dream the sweetest dream

the bones of my skull shift tectonically my heart was sewn in upside down and inside out the button eyes hang threads of flesh hastily stitched together a golem of dessicated remains shambling forth from the crypt lovingly placed by the same gnarled hands that put me together the wind is cool against my scarred […]