insoluble solutions

another sleepless night
pacing back and forth
tryin to find that point
of physical exhaustion
to force my mind to hush

i have cut myself off
from basically everyone
so i sit in a deep silence
of my own manufactured woe
when i likely need to be
talking my way through
this insanity i cannot quite
make heads nor tails of

driving with a clusterbomb
attached to my brainstem
wishing the goddamned thing
would just finally explode
sick and tired of being so
fucking tired all the time

a failed wordsmith nursing
self inflicted wounds
mummified by this disinterest
as i casually ignore pain
cocooning in the hopes that
the scales on my wings are
beautiful enough someone sees
before my deficient
survival mechanism
sends my frail new body
crashing among the leaves
scattered on the brown grass

constantly respun
from the karmic wheel
to repeat the same
destructive tendencies
over and again
never learning as
the flames burn my
fresh wings to cinders

sleepwalking my way
through homemade perditions
a moth to the fires
of the hell erupting
in my hollow skull
drowning in the silence
so carefully constructed
damming the valley
and lamenting as
the water rises slowly
drowning dreams and
broken butterflies alike

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