thirty stories upone lodged in my throatwatching mechanicalbeetles crawl towardsa slow death inconcrete monolothsand me judging thema benevolent godlingignoring the obvioussimilarities in myown inescapable hellthirty stories upchoking on the onelodged in my throat

i skitter halfway between waking and dead the lingering fog hangs cloying in a sublimation where need roils to coat my vision with the spectres long buried in bitterness awoken by roasted beans to saturate every muted hue of a new morning indistinguishable from the last percolating in anxieties and need i spoke at length […]

the sun wilts fading into the west evening stretches a long miserable dark silently disastrous in photonic displacement life can be incredibly heavy dragging anchors through wet sand in a stinging swarm of perilous dreamembers carelessly navigating the rivers of raw sewage an infection of incendiary disease souring soulblossoms in an evening fugue tant de […]

the ride was going so well i went the back way down mockingbird crossed over grassy canals and got a perfect view of dallas’s skyline there were two wrecks but i somehow deftly managed to avoid getting caught up in the congestion another fleck of phlegm barrowing escaping the constriction of sudden construction the highway […]

the music echoes throughout the empty bottom level of the concrete hive where dreams wither on the blackened vine the gods of random songs have declared in their divine petulance today will be filled with agression even as anxiety flares hot i exist in a sphere of the burning steam where my passions dash themselves […]

the sun has yet to wake itself from the long quiet night of slumber the apartment is as dark as the coffee steaming in the mug today is not meant for being caged yet i dress slowly well aware some cages are made out of glass and show you the freedoms we have to pay […]

writing tonight is extracting thorns from tender spots with shaking hands gripping rusty pliers a lesson in agonizing futility dripping pus to stain any hope of beauty less frustrated more resigned scribbling another fucking poem a half drank pot of coffee with a shiny oil slick reflecting the faerie lights dancing recklessly within my own […]

everything is backed up this afternoon the entire day really a traffic jam since my eyes opened and the silence gripped my stained glass soul so tightly cracks formed in the disillusion of disjointed colored frames bleeding a sterility in shattered deluge across what could have been random lane closures sutures of coarse twine pulling […]

the words spillin watercolors acrossmy aching mindyet the only onesi can extract fromthe pastel pageantryare coffee flavoredkisses to my lovewho sleeps by the waves that is enoughmy sacred bastionin the anxietiesswirling relentlesslyerasing any doubtas to why i love her so

hidden away in an industrial park i sit enjoying the sun shining across an overgrown area around a dried up creek scraggly little trees coniferous dancing pins and a row of haphazard spread sunflowers with deep brown eyes in a finery of bright yellow petals fifteen minutes to go until the damnation in concrete hell […]

the depression swarms around my head a cloud of gnats in vivid apprehension an arid vivisection exposing the tumors pulsing in various heightened states of shivering dismay i stood in the shower the smell of lime and hibiscus tickling the back of my brain lost in the fogbank of half recycled dreamshit the hot water […]

it begins not always but often enough with a taste of acidic electrical static dripping from molar to tongue in a tingling numb similar to touching your tongue to a nine volt battery the anxiety pounces all sinew and muscles rippling a jaguar growling softly the dappled light through the leaves a perfect camouflage for […]

i wear my disbelief pulled tightly around my shoulders to give shelter from the elements to the nigh quixotic innocence of my technicolor heartspasms the world is so barren and ugly indiscriminately lashing out in the petulance of permeable despair yet deep inside these catacombs where hope dissolves into hopelessness i tend a secret garden […]

i feel less substantial this evening vaguely formless a living shadow wondering how it would feel to be alive i used to light a candle each time i missed you so badly i couldn’t breathe until i found myself trapped in a river of wax and now i just imagine them and an inferno consumes […]

how can i fault the canary seeking to escape the cage inside my heaving chest it yearns for the freedom of the cerulean forever it has seen only in dreamshattered fragments filtered through the same chemical delusions in a soulblistered orgy of my own sinfully simmering ocean of discontent. i turn up the music to […]

i gave my poetry to the wobbling heron as she flew low barely skimming the surface of the waves with breathless abandon the coffee flavored words of pure devotion spilled into the warming morning air as my heart fluttered with the cardinals in the heavy thicket. stolen glimpses of unimaginable beauty as my tongue forms […]

the moon is swollen with a stolen affluence of golden light peering proudly a pockmarked preening peacock a spotlight balefully illuminating the decrepit splendor of hope in decline i cut off a quivering sliver of my effervescent nothingness and watched longingly as it sublimated in shades of lavender lament before fading away in the gaping […]

i verily goddamned well flew upon gossamer wings of latent disasters at the speed of i fucking dare you up and down the i35 corridor a marionette tugged by invisible strings a castanet filled with writhing pale maggots shaking in my guts rattling the dirge that darkened my way back to dallas as my wooden […]

the turkey bizzards circled tue heavy plumes of black smoke that billowed angrily across the clear azure from the pickup truck filly engulfed in flames blocking the on ramp just outside of tiny west texas north of waco i do not slow down the accelerator is pushed firmly to the floorboard as i weave between […]

laying in the dark connecting dots unveiling a picture i would rather deny but self denial is a lot like self acceptance in the two are things i have learned to live without along with so many other things that seem inalienable yet pass right through my spaceship along with dangerous levels of solar irradiated […]

trapped behind the windshield as the gray city smears into a congruous collection of discarded cocoons daydreaming of pomegranate lip stains as demeter simpers in her impotent rage imagining the unfettered excitement as hades prepares to welcome his beloved queen into the amethyst hallways of his royal castle loyal cerberus three tongues wagging guarding the […]

a certain uncertainty seems predestined to cast a pall in waves of humming static fat black flies feasting happily upon the rotten fruits of yesterday’s paltry harvest rumbling loudly a chainsaw of tangential anxieties tearing through the stagnation of retched dreamshit icicles of filth hanging heavily from turgid fantasy obscuring absentia in a mirage of […]

these white vansride my bumpereven though my speedis the speed of trafficas if inching fartherinto my back seatwill magicallydouble the rateat which we tumbleinto someone else’s dream. white hot nailspuncture my guts asthe stress i try to burybuilds into a nestof angry fire antsand casual slashesin moments of needdo little but draw outthe creatures lurkingjust […]

the moment the words have left the nib they no longer belong to you they belong solely to the world as they dry flaking off as scabs to be collected in corners or glittering gently in spiderwebs whatever heartache or passion you have poured out becomes replaced by the reader’s own unique perceptions you never […]

tiny orange blossoms in withered repose bob merrily on the tepid wind where the future rots in stagnant refrain the dessicated beauty bathed in painprisms shying away from my ungulating staccato unable to fathom the misdirected attention of wolves dressed as sheep pretending to be world weary souls long domesticated with feral toothy grins i […]

a series of seemingly misplaced affections stapled unwillingly to the heaving valves of a latchkey heart three hundred and sixty five bloody furrows etched in groups of five across the prison walls where nothing awaits except for the callous dismissal of diminishing returns as callused hands disabuse the notion of importance in impotent agonies inflicting […]

i keep most of my thoughts to myself to save everyone else the bother of ignoring me the irony of preparing a feast then begging for scraps after is not lost in the subtle hints a breadcrumb trail draws the ravens and i follow the discarded pinions seeing the patterns in what doesn’t remain hearing […]

the clouds drift snuffing out the stars the same way life smothers hope leaving the land shrouded in an opression of billowing darkness as i clutch with bloody hands to the shards of dreams as they recede into the perpetual night where insomnial desires fluctate petulantly against the hammering tide of futility sounding an orchestra […]

it had been days morose and listless the sheet of paper existed but took no joy from being alive was it tainted forever ruined by the fool who scribbled agonies in repetition or was this all there was to be found cyclical madness in repetitive motion working to live but never truly living the sheet […]

a hundred miles melting away beneath the tires gripping the gradient asphalt as i dart threading the needle between tired truckers and a mirage of duplicate white cars the framrate stutters jagged textures carve the insolent blue as waco comes ever closer locked in a loading screen before the bland backgrounds stretch in a loop […]

she is the lightening sky to the east a warm penumbral glow promising more than the long sleepless night could ever give i am distant thunder a ruination in anxietal waves tectonic malaise in grinding plates faintly reverberating over hollow tombs together we interweave disparate tragedies into a tapestry of dreamshatter reveries blinding intensities focused […]

a monday disguised as a sunday with the same anxious depression the thundering of sand tumbling ticking off the seconds until i am in stasis for another two weeks after a true sunday that sped by the same as a saturday leaving the calendar off balance and me out of sorts tomorrow will be a […]

a bedrock stirring clustered explosion right after a glimpse of her smiling in tattered dream collecting hints of silver lingings drifting from the angry storms circling to weave a blanket infused with this all encompassing love that blossoms across my pockmarked swirling desolation dreampollen floating an intoxicating whiff of secret kisses infused with golden notes […]

i am not convinced this world is fully three dimensional and not a lenticular illusion of insipidly paltry plastic refractions in pseudoscientific lamentations. a series of artficial ambiguities a discombobulated mass coaxed into a dead language to add a grandiose flair to spice up the need to disprove insignificance in domesticated regurgitations. i need coffee […]

as much as i scratch and tear at the tenebrae between hearts beating themselves slowly to death you’d think that i would have clawed some sort of portal to escape this hell of tangentially aching agonies broken fingernails leaving bloody odes across every available surface in crimson streaks of clotted longing cramping fingers grasping at […]

the alarm rang yet the sheet of paper just lay still the words written upon its pulped flesh promised more yet these daydreams seemed farther from fruition were these thoughts of wildflowers its own or the will of another tattooed upon its tattered soul? the sheet of paper didn’t know or couldn’t tell but the […]

a low synthetic warbling shook the bedroom window the pervasive sound of the diesel womb or the mothership descendant hovering or possibly robotic wasps swarming looking for something to repeatedly sting vibrating loud enough to weave a willowy uncertainty into helf conscious dread once the hope of falling asleep once more is shooken raspily from […]

if i stop and think i get so choked up by self doubt i cannot breathe. it isn’t auto pilot as much as perpetual motion. come closer, my love, and let us break the laws of physics together. maybe you can stop my brain from chewing itself distract me with your beautiful soul. the skies […]

she spoke to me in a dream last night i hadn’t heard her throaty voice in the long decades since she took her life yet when she spoke i remembered the fever that consumed us whenever we collided from the first time she woke me up with a story about needing to talk to each […]

i find myself mentally preparing for the long cold winter that never comes seeking to store fat reserves when summer’s starvation is still grumbling from empty cupboards the rows of jars still waiting for a harvest that will never come to fruition no matter how dilligent i sow the seeds death rides a pale horse […]

i deny these sultry suicidal ideologies that permeate the membrane between the nightmares afflicting the waking and sleeping worlds of woe. wearing a miner’s cap with a candle dripping wax down my face as the canary panics in the poisonous air while i mindlessly mine for veins of more in these bottomless depths of dire […]

the wonder soon began to wear off as the sheet of paper grew accustomed to the routines of its new existence fluttering out of bed at six in the morning rushing through the sunrise it once found so glorious now just another abstraction that didn’t distract quite the same way it had scant months before […]

i see the distortionof the skyin the concave windows ofthe white work vanin front of meabove me is a seaof roiling graybut reflectedback at me isglimmers of sunshinebeckoning fron theinfusion of distortedclouds and idon’t know what is realthe vision playingin front of meor the nothingness abovei begin to wonderto worrywhy is it thatthe beauty is […]

the spiders sit in the center of overladen webs a contant twitching of bundled snacks eight eyes times eight webs staring in sixty four points of stagnant dismissal and i wonder how many of those bundles are whispered odes to her smile caught only to feed the matrons of weaving as they wait patiently for […]

the days stretched bleeding together much the same as when the fool would press too hard and the ink ran from on sheet to another blurring thoughts until there was a sort of standard uniformity to the sheet of paper’s new daily routine it would wake up with the church bells song as the metallic […]

i follow the different shades as they bloom on the chaste trees that line the back roads in late spring they call to me in lilac hues that call to that homesick lost child in my chest crying for mommy to love me or daddy to come home from the bar and save me the […]

is it a black hole tearing at my fragile core this endless hunger left unpacified by coffee and deepseated desires offset by the pulsations of polarity shifting voraciously wobbling into nothingness as the morning air whips up dust devils in this winsome tomb of dreams interred queasy on the deck of another night spent hauling […]

the sheet of paper slid itself beneath the heavy wooden door and into a small room with an old lady who sat steadily tapping the typewriter keys a faint bell and a short scratch as the return was slid home the sheet of paper scrunched itself up and using the current of the ceiling fan […]

at last the sheet of paper with smudged little cartoon hearts drifted down to swirl along the crowded streets so many busy people angrily scowling desensitized to the joy of being autonomous rather than bound in place and the sheet of paper realized that all of the words that penetrated the pressed pulp carried no […]

i was driving down hulen street and took a right when suddenly the dilapidation fell away and budding trees now lined the road it seemed as if i slipped into narnia as i drove through hidden clusters of expensive homes with fancy cars lining the driveways in the heart of an otherwise indifferent inner city […]

the conundrum in having people believe in you when the voices inside of you have a polar opposite opinion and trying to rectify the two while exposing your pain in bright bile flecked streaks across the skies wanting your words to be read while leaving yourself comfortably buried in the background rattles the chains on […]

it flew saturated in ink tattooed with heartblood and desire seeping deep into a sense of wonder as the world once a mystery felt in the indentations of a scratchy pen clenched tightly betweeen manic fingers in microtears and elongated tear drops it flew higher and higher from the fool staring in sullen disbelief it […]

the fool sat a tattered notebook filled with indecipherable scribbles and childlike sketches sat ignored upon his lap as he stared at the birds darting amongst the branches of flowering bushes in a delicate panic of hollow boned necessity the pages rustling in warm wind blowing over dusty brown fields and gnarled stunted trees the […]

deceit and conceit are two sides of the same delusional coin the only difference is to whom we make the conscious effort to try and convince. i keep a bundle of tattered reciepts to make sure that i can always manage to tell the two apart.

i am a consternation of neurovibratory disambiguations sedulously pulsing your name in watercolor tinted ink blot allusions each declaration of love spilling in pearlescent spatters of wind swept sighs draped in prismatic decline my heart, a leaf gone crimson, drifts to the ground, a clatter which quakes throughout heavens eroded foundation of loosely packed sand, […]

a trope that always bothered me is the conceit alien life would be humanoid in appearance for any reason whatsoever the idea that a second once in a billion lightning strike into primordial dissent would eeriely trace the same trajectory as the accident that forced us in semi consciousness to think that life can only […]

i lost my voice somewhere along the sleepless hollows calling out for a sign as the stars winked out one by one by one the universe turned her pale cold shoulder a sigh of discontent in irradiated pulses causing soulblisters to leak clear catastrophes blemishing creation i move by feel crawling through the shards of […]

we live in a worldwhere we celebrateperseus slaying medusathe fearsome gorgonyet forget she onlybecame a monsterafter she was rapedby poseidon andcursed by athenafor her simple crimeof daring speak outagainst those in power i watch the newsvillify the victimsand i can’t helpimagining perseusriding on that wingedbastard of divine rapeparading medusa’s headas a reminder thatthe victors writethe […]

i am a curious case of human phantom limb syndrome because long after i have gone missing my absence lingers pins and needles in the shape of my hand caressing your gasping heart a tumultuous upbringing combined with a cornucopia of mental deficiencies leads to a quiet fool writing and erasing long heartfelt expulsions only […]

my mind never shut off as i lay in a half stupor body unresponsive brain screaming noises i could not make sense of calling howling murmuring a paralytic haze of unresponsive limbs staring up unable to stop thinking trapped in a traitorous flesh lost in the silence filled with disdain focusing on all the flaws […]

it’s an itch pull everything to the edge of the table even line all in a row largest remains the rest line up in a straight line with the top the remote has a round bottom that doesn’t lend itself to the correct order slightly elliptical in shape a guessing game get the angle right […]

no matter the intent there is no sure fire way to be sure the words being said are being interpreted the way they are intended a confusion of ingrained perceptions can twist the meaning into something else entirely couple that with an innate inability to separate the metaphors needed to explain the concepts never spoken […]

the punks accepted the poor poet as one of their own perhaps they understand they have been listening to poetry off scratched vinyl and in the dirty clubs their entire lives the contrast between selling books at a convention where pity was the usual expression to being taken seriously by the colorful mohawks and tattooed […]

it took too long to realize the schism between being born an extrovert and life beating introverted instincts into a dichotomy where neither feels confortable at all leaving me uncertain of what exactly i am the anxious clown or the poetic hermit dancing in the spotlight with eyes clenched tight so no one can see […]

under medicated in a dream world of sharpened edges where everything cuts through flesh with a monomolecular blade down to the pitted bones of calcium deficiency tattered fibers unravel musculature into strands of fetid necessity as vacant receptors patiently scream for endorphin support to dull the bright light of miseries in broken states of woken […]

the stars don’t twinkle out a hidden message bestowing meaning or purpose to creation the fluctuation in photon displacement is caused by the planets wobbling awkwardly in their orbits the same way when stars explode they give off the elements from which we were birthed though we are no stellar nurseries simply the lump sum […]

i. a golden ring an undulation on the placid pane of glass reflecting eternity tip tap tip tap fingernails clacking in time with the voracious heartbeat echoing in the dark matter swirl at the center of the universe ii. a fishbowl sitting on a window ledge overlooking the endless ocean a concussed goldfish swimming in […]

another soul unable to take the pain of being ground down into the dust so she took more and more to numb the world away until she decided to take one last hit and give that pain to everyone else she was a star shining so bright until the opioids made her into a husk […]

i think i have given enough of my unwanted self for a hundred lifetimes and today i feel shallow wrung dry a thousand hornets stinging along my vacant tender craving beauty to fill the cracks in my ugly hanging towels over mirrors huddled in a ball in the dark rocking back and forth your name […]

the coffee maker hisses an angry cockroach petulant as the lone bird cries a monotone disillusion i shift these heavy chains to prepare myself to haunt this bone prison in wretched dismay waiting for the sun to rise once more the breeze from the ceiling fan sends daggers of pain across ny scalp as i […]

i wrap razor wire across my naked flesh and dare the lightning to strike because i don’t have enough middle fingers to show my distaste for self delusion the worst lie we happily tell ourselves is everything will be alright when we goddamned well can read the writing scribbled by our own hands dripping down […]

distorted shadows dance around the bonfire the moon cratered and dully gleaming in a haze of pregnant disdain plasma courses a scintillating oscillation in molten surges as the electric stench of ozone in pungent distress carves furrows in forever i casually drape myself across the sacrificial altar an eager offering to an indifferent god as […]

directly ahead lay soft white clouds daggers of sunlight pierce the swirling vapor with a hint of a better times ahead yet a delineation of sallow charcoal hovers just above me and no matter my rate of speed through the swollen streets hoping for one moment in golden extrusion the rain follows me latched on […]

autumn teases the gray touch of the coming rot settles morbidly over a summer lingering long past an appropriate curtain call the death knell of verdant memories fading into the harsh brown a beast beckoned to slumber the harvest moon hidden in gray repose a consternation of solar insolance trapped in accumulated cumulus a chill […]

i woke in a faint circle of brackish light as the ground shifted around me in confusion i leapt to my feet to find myself in a rickety boat a small brass lantern ineffectively fighting the gloom and a lone ferryman stood staring in voluminous robes of coagulated smoke silently guiding the vessel over a […]

little spindles of static discharge crackling across my exposed heart cardiac infarctions in quivering waves of adrenalized sparks coursing through a degeneration of squalid exhaustion spasming clusters of heartthistle spurs in a tragedy of disambiguous thunder raining heavy blows along the tender soul of meek acceptance a sparse conjunction an intersection of disembodied desires and […]

going to go sell books at another concert and i can’t stop wondering how i got lucky enough to get asked to peddle poetry to punks when a few years back i was just one of those punks myself these casual intersections between my two favorite arts both of which where i feel like a […]

i get into a manic frame of mind conceptualize the perfect plan down to the finest detail crafting a simple yet foolproof plan and then fold it gently before placing it in the trash i know these grandiose visions my manic treatises will become home for spiderwebs as my depression prevents me from being able […]

the power cycled on and off each time blaring out electronic symphonies the winding up and immediate discharge for hours through the night and i knew this morning would be rough but even a pessimist can over guess the quality of a monday morning as my phone goes off with new calls on the same […]

it’s raining there is somethingso soothingin the first rainsto break thestranglehold ofsummer’s passionafter so longthreatening toquench the dessicatedsouls of brokendreamers trappedin the dustyhellfire ofbiblical torturesin strikingtechnicolor oozingpainblossoms i forgothow instantlythe pitter pattersoothes thesavage soul seekingsmall sweetnessin the sudden calmas thunder rumbleslightning flashescasting shadowsthrough the blinds it’s raining the water runs downthe broken sidewalksflooding the streetsin […]

when i was a kidi had a brasspocket watchwith glass cut outsin which i couldwatch the gearsas they clickedand i would sitand wind thelittle dial andstare as the springscompressed tighterand tighter untilfinally i watchedas the small coilsnapped from theimense pressurei manically applied. a self fulfillingprophecy in thehands of innocentcuriosity in aclear display ofthe anxieties thatwould […]

i can feel the x-rays pummeling me as i strive to keep hold of my inner most thoughts all while this irradiated waterfall slowly cooks me from within. i lazily ponder the distillates hovering around the tattered old dreamsphincter billowing pollution into the gray skies an orange level alert to insomnial passions blistering grit in […]

weatherman says it is gonna rain all week long but i don’t know if placing hope in someone with such an abyssmal average of accuracy is worth lugging an umbrella around on the off chance the smiling prick guessed correctly but we need all the goddamned precipitation the universe can piss upon our heads even […]

humanity used to gaze in wonder at the cosmos connecting twinkling lights into heroes and monsters that battled across the ebon skies forging the mythologies to explain the mysteries of the universe. science removed the divinity as light pollution erased the source and it feels the more we understand the forces at play the less […]

we haunt the ephemeral illusion between the sun and moon alive with crackling vibrancy yet numb to the horrors paraded in front of unfocused eyes with a regularity that beguiles comprehension even as it happily defiles hope into apprehension billions of cells a chaos of corrupted hungers screaming soaked in chemical drips a sloshing beast […]

people enjoy making others feel small because it makes them feel superior so overstuffed with their own self importance they don’t see people as anything but objects to be used to over compensate for their many obvious failings they do not see the damages gleefully inflicted only the reflections of their avarice telling them they […]

light headed the world keeps spinning and i feel every rotation pulling me farther into the dark swirling at the edge of my vision i watch as the floor warbles ckoser to my heavy head there is nothing no light no pain just a serenity in absence four blues eye two brown call into the […]

i used to sit with a large dictionary flipping frantically to decipher the full intent of a sentence with each new word i came closer to being able to describe the various ways i felt i was not angry i was inchoate that is not red but shimmering vermillion my brain has always been filled […]

my silence is impossibly heavy my absence when fully retracted is a gaping chasm a darkness that absorbs all of the light until it becomes all encompassing the same way my passion scorches the earth in a supernova of loving intent and i exclaim my adorations on every single breeze i oscillate between mania and […]

i cannot explain the feeling of holding a book of things i scribbled. i do not open it, can not bare to hear my own voice. but i know the words. can see her in my mind, and all i can do is hope to capture her beauty in the next one. poetry is for […]

today is my daughter’s last first day of high school and my son’s last first day before he goes to high school next year i remember their first days of kindergarten the tears of a baby growing up leaving the nest for hours a day feeling like i was losing a part of them now […]

the nettles announce it is time for another screaming session into the void opening the overrun to let the excess sluice away meaninglessmeaninglessmeaningless everyone walks around with beeswax melted only capable of hearing their own names stepping over bloody vomit staining the sidewalk with casual disregard autocannibalistic self indulgences itisallsogoddamnedmeaningless yet the nettles swiftly sting […]

i feelall of the thingsi neededfall awayscabs inthe tempestas my diseasednothingnesspulsatesin a frenzyof denials it is easierto slap awaythe hand seekingsuccor rather thanoffering peaceto acceptthere is onlyemptinessbetween thosedying emberspopulating theeerie cosmos the damagescallously inflictedmake it sowhen i curl upinto a ballit almost feelsas if i am beingheld againas long as iignore the factthe arms are […]

the planes are screaming today displaced air in a constant rumble white noise trying to drown out the excess static as i pixelate slipping back into a cracked facade of false smiles and empty greetings buddha said clinging to anger is the same as drinking poison hoping your enemy will be the one that dies […]

every poemis formedwith the ashesof effigies burntso there issomethingof substanceholdingthe words intoa rictus grinas i sculpttiny birdskullsthat rattleas the eveningsighs its displeasurein harsh mementosof tomorrowsthat never came

the drowning cycle has begun again i know the signs the initial expression of being trapped bad metaphors on metamorphism before i break down and begin begging which somehow becomes everyone else turning defensive so acceptance settles as i compartmentalize smashing everything into rusted boxes as i build new walls rather than force myself to […]

we float bodies numb on this sluggish stream of ice cold nothingness fingers trailing unable to grasp at the darting lights glimmering just beneath the surface and we know whatever those fluttering half frozen beams are they are the only thing in this vast hell of half focused delusions that make any sense even of […]

happy endings are only found in shitty stories and certain seedy massage parlors carrots on sticks we stagger after drunkenly between bouts of depression and daily disasters

they said we are conditioned in the fear of missing out to say yes to everything while pushing our own needs farther back until we are constantly moving and happiness becomes missing from the equation and i sat there quivering with little barbs of anxiety alone in a room trying to remember the last time […]