my hands shake whether from the chill pervading the room or the anxiety in adrenalized spikes stabbing down my spine making this fundamentally flawed house of cards i seek sanctuary within less a shelter than a lesson in incompetency from a failed architect trying too hard to hide his scarred topographic map of dire depression […]

life has felt eerily similar to a car crash filmed in black and white a silent film of distorted pains with nary a whimper to differentiate the scene breaks as black blood pools in solemn waves slowly consuming the intrepid fool in a liquefication of obsidian disasters the film stretches flame spreads across metal canisters […]

i dream scratching across the vellum of night a dull pencil wood scraping faint graphite creasing eternity in an impotent display of loss my only true contribution to art a vague smudge on the edge of a canvas housing flawed masterpieces in half coagulated remorseful scabs as i rage fitfully in a bipolar malaise pollock […]

a purification of sin in sweet self immolation beneath the interlocking brasswork teeth of god sending entropic slivers in a blizzard of molten reverberations to bathe the chemically deluded with a torrent of pain nauseated from spinning against the turbulent tides the undertones of undertows grasping at flailing limbs in a frozen symphony of sympathetic […]

swimming in this fog of indentured nomenclature leaves a soul deep stain that mars the hopefulness in scarred divergences the echoed screams reverberating lingering loss in a secluded delusion of past incoherencies that pummel passionless prose i yearn for an infusion solar irradiation to infect the melanoma of understanding with a fresh melange of rumors […]

the flower wilts despite the sunlight and encouragement he whispers in the silent moments that stretch far past an acceptable amount showing despite the best of intentions some blossoms are so self absorbed that they do not realize how they discourage an amateur gardener from his adorations now his ambitions lay in burning bridges after […]

he sat picking the loose scales hanging like scabs hoping to molt into something new that wasn’t always relegated to a second class commodity and held at arm’s length whenever his heartfelt expressions were left ignored once again maybe somewhere buried deeply beneath this old form of the same callous disregard lay a creature worthy […]

it is far too easy to lose sight of those things that bring us a modicum of joy in the endless malaise of entropic failures that define being human as human beings scrabble about trying to prove that even briefly we existed as life crashes against our weary forms the tide against the shore slowly […]

stoking the ashes hoping for an errant ember to reignite the passion gone dormant in the long dark night of dreadful half dreamt melanoma spreading across beauty in a suffocating wave of defiled deliriums slipping downdowndown a sinkhole, a portal, a gateway to the open maw of hellish best intentions a fetid mass of half […]

falling in and out of fever dreams as the meds keep me from ever fully awakening even as the shallow unnatural sleep matches my shallow liquid breaths a half state in this lingering torment as everything seems to melt into a sludge or slipping into the quicksand quagmires encasing hopes for any type of wellness […]

faulty pneumatics in pneumonia dementia an inabilty to draw oxygen into a corrosion of bronchial disdain the fool moves slowly in a city already done with a short week of pretending to work as the long weekend beckons sullenly from the commerce beckoning to fleece the masses a false narrative leads into a frenzy of […]

a distortion pulling all of reality into the spiralling arm of armageddon with each palpation sending an array where the double helix begins to unravel rewriting the genetic code into a sludge of base desires and indecency in a spectral anomaly that cascades an irradiation of timid intrusions into the absence at the still heart […]

i wake up already choking on these unshed tears as sorrow fills my vacancy in a sloshing nightmare of my own insecurities given icy form and i wish i could find a dream where the rope slides softly around my wheezing throat a lullabye for an endless parade of bitter failings shed like dead cells […]

the drugs hit a million suns burning through cellular dismay a cauldron of molten metals in a pervasive sway dancing in collapsing veins a disruption of mitohypochondria powering illness in entropic chaos the sinuous scales as the dragon slides a delicate dance of nigh divine dystopia cascading in waves of solar dissonance as the vessel […]

a silent celebrationfor the birth of a museto the lodestone in herwildflower smile thatunwaveringly calls mybipolar heart back hometo bountiless beauty inher bottomless brown gazean effervescent effusionin the golden nimbus glowingso bright she blinds yetcannot seem to see herselfa silent celebrationto the graceful beautyof the most tender soulin flashes of pink petalsdancing in her barelyrestrained […]

trapped in another cyclical redundancy incapable of seeking an escape from secondary waves of dissatisfaction where doing your best is subject to the whims of a world that could not give two tugs of a dead dog’s cock about your feelings belittled and shelved no inherent value until long after you have mentally checked yourself […]

i have no more coinsto toss into thishaunted wishing wellof emptied empathyas nothing but thesilt of unreciprocateddreamslurry in thepassionless face ofsheer self absorptiongreets the new day ofdistempered adorationseach tarnished pennyholds the knowledge ofhow self absorption colorsthe disregard to whatanother has suffered inthe inward gaze whereit becomes impossible tosee any fault except forthe glaring flaws of […]

every timei think i haveshaken this illnessthe fever ignitesand i find myselfstill drowning i fear it is apermanent sicknessas each good dayis balanced by threein which i wheezeand long for death the pills aren’thaving the intended affectand sleep is a miseryof half dreamt hellsas i long for a dayof feeling vaguely human one day i […]

there is a phenomenon called the halo effect where people assume because a person is physically attractive they have inherently more worth than someone less aesthetically appeasing a condition compounded by spcial media and the cult of puerile celebrity worship based not on any real merit whatsoever just a longing to feel as if they […]

this morning there will be a disconnection and an almost certain death will follow not long after the machines keeping the body alive even though there is no electricity driving the meat it seems almost callous how simply pulling a plug can erase an existence even if it is just a matter of forcing a […]

it is probably completely normal to be stricken by such a dark depression sitting alone sobbing in between breaths i cannot catch as puddle’s pity party plays the soundtrack to a life unlived the skeletal hand of hope squeezes my chest in a redundancy of shattered shards piercing in bleak submissions and i am donedonedone […]

never ending fron panic to drowning to acceptance that i will always be secondary ignored and forgotten in this suffocation trying to breathe through the thick layer of sick bewteen oxygen and my failing lungs the kids go back tonight and i go back to my hole a rough week ahead worse if the sleeplessness […]

the kids are sleeping a profound peace falls as i listen to their rhythmic breathing all the ills squirming inside of me mean nothing as two thirds of my heart beat a resounding song of perseverance that fills the little apartment with a joy so desperately missing in the two weeks of sickly silence shrouding […]

every exhalation crackles with congestion a consistency of syrup laden shallow breaths and i cannot fall deeply enough to find dream constantly waking before my brain can process it is asleep dipping my cerebral cortex into the shallow end of unfulfilled desires just enough to taint the long stretches where my heart hammers against the […]

i woke drowning an ocean of torment sloshing as i tried to untangle myself the blankets tied around my wrists as i feverishly pulled the headboard creaking as the wet wheezing blossomed into full panicked thrashing the world glared in strips of photonegative abandonment through the blinds as the periwinkle suffocation of clouds reflected the […]

this virulent disaster seated in an angry mass within my brain colors the day in shades of rage squeezing every drop of anxiety into a slurry where darkness stabs into the truths i try so desperately to deny i dread going to bed knowing sleep won’t come though i am exhausted fearing another flash of […]

another panic attack three am sitting on the edge of the bed trying to remember how to breathe in between the dry heaves i suspect santeria in conjunction with the blood moon pulling my bipolar psychosis into a feedback squall of screaming static everything is tinged in palpable darkness as errant synapses fire into the […]

the hot fetid breath on the back of my neck cracked black teeth tearing ragged strips of fevered bloody flesh an insanity of chaotic dentata denada in feral regala traumatically reviled in nauseous lies the scars on my forearms from playing tic tac toe with thanatos to a draw into infinity on the head of […]

fleeting flickering puffs of flame dance fireflies in sea of impenetrable malaise the dour smog seeks to suffocate the still sleeping city where the poisoned souls of driftless dreamers plummet into an abyss of inconsequential woe a rhythmic clip clop of shorn hooves over dew slick cobblestone vacancies swirl as the fog coalesces to the […]

my poetic is shrouded in a dense fog yet every dream is filled with her smile i stumble drunkenly barely able to type chasing fireflies in the shape of peonies from small town to empty parking lots uncertain of where the winding roads lead just a vague sense of incapacitated wonder echoing through the impenetrable […]

the sunlight filters through the solid mass of accumulated cumulus bathing the city in an irradiated silver glare it feels too hot for so late in the year as autumn promises are obscured by greenhouse suffocation i long to crawl out of the hole in the ozone layer to drift free alone another celestial oddity […]

if i shift just rightthe pain in my shoulderwith every shallow breathcan be dulled slightlyeven as this roilingball of oily sickin the pit of my stomachchurns endlesslythroughout the night i am a human biohazardincapable of shakingthis demonic processionin virulent possessiona walking warzone waginginvisible battles incomplete cellular declinea petri dish of diseaserabidly seekinga new host to […]

the paint blisters as the room burns all around me i feel the heat watching the flames consume the ceiling listlessly waiting for it all to come crashing down upon me in a torrent of ashen embers unable to differentiate if the inferno originated in the fever coursing through paperthin walls or my own tattered […]

the last four days of influenze spiked dreaminfection has left me in a haze where the thorns of painthistles tore in every halfdrowned breath that managed to wheeze its way out of my decaying husk carried the delirium tinted calls for a respite from insidious aches as i slept walked unaware if i lived or […]

my circadian rhythm has always been suspect at the best of times but the sick forcing sleep has me all kinds of cuckoo for going comatose for a couple months as this graying bear grumpily sits replaying dismissals in the suddenly oh so sleepless evening the sleeping pills did nothing to abate i understand why […]

there is a stormsupposedly brewingyet i have beensleeping throughthe thunderous pealstalk of tornados orflooding as peoplerace to buy breadthough the stormseems destined to endthis weekend and icannot fathom howmuch bread one familycan consume over twodays of possible rain an evening in theemergency room wherethe pretty nurse witha red snake tattoogave me treatments tobreathe so i […]

i lay ensconced in ice as fire rages contradictory in agonies the sickness unaware of starvation incites dry heaves a maelstrom of nauseated discomfort desperately trying to purge what isn’t inside of me at the behest of this illness leaving muscles cramping in the fevered grip of frozen shudders shallow breaths trying not to move […]

this cold has settled in my lungs two swords driven through my chest that only ache when i breathe or foolishly move the exciting part of a broken healthcare system with predatory insurance practices is seeing how bad a simple cold can grow due to an inability to afford a visit to the doctor’s office […]

i can’t escape this dreadful thought that i am not a real person nothing more than a simple projection hazel hatches hiding a simulacrum in a collection of ones and zeroes with no real heft substanceless in a semi permeable flux background noise sputtering static featureless amongst the crowd of rowdy rabble rousers a shrinking […]

the rusted chainskeep me tetheredto this irradiatedradiator of irregularrationalities anddeep seated tetanusdelusions as thewater boils sendingmolten distractionsin a white hot furyof demure denialsmy skin blistersthen bursts in arampant display ofravaged reservations the world is trappedin muted relapseor perhaps the echosof pained screamshave left me deafenedas the bitterness ofincoherence floodsmy talented tonguean intoxication oftriumphant turmoilsa deluge […]

no calls today fully dressed and waiting to go somewhere when nowhere is the only destination i have mapped on my phone the silence does little for a mind at the brink of breaking down so i go for a drive to preoccupy my need to pick at the scabs itching as the flesh heals […]

when i was a kid we carefully sat upon the poverty line you don’t know necessarily that you are poor as a precocious child i had assumed everyone lived like we did it wasn’t as if we went without often we just lived within our means as best as we could manage one summer we […]

it is hard to concentrate with my heart pounding in my ears no music or reading two sick kids meant a lot of movie time and the idea of more makes my insides squirm in irritation hanging at the cusp of writing where it is building up into a full bodied breathless need yet i […]

the river flows sluggishly through the antechamber of incidental yearning a sick slick of poisoned apathies thick foamy dismay in a thousand ebon bubbles churning out effervescent odes to this pollution of pustulance pervading a quiet morning of hollow denials as the planes circle searching for wreckage in the smoking craters where the bonesplintered audaciously […]

the first morning where the chill coalesced across my flesh swaddled in birdsong goosepimpled shivers in a naked ball grasping at the wispy dreamdust scattered in the darkened room for one more minute of her in my arms before facing the day a manic ball of crystal coherence my adorations hang in clouds of mist […]

it’s just so goddamned dreary even the automatic lights on the cars seemed confused it is a solid slate a funeral pall on an otherwise miserable friday of traffic and an inabilty to express this rampant manic catastrophe percolating foamy hopes over this torrential slurry of expected sorrows cold sheets of rain listlessly swaying as […]

procrastinating sitting in the rain staring at the side of the murky gray building i do not want to enter the stereo gods aren’t helping much i keep telling myself you can’t stop ace of spades and then how do i not finish stepping stone hüsker dön’t skip sunshine superman the problem inside can wait […]

i tried my damnedestto play well whilechained to thegates of hadesbut three egosslowly swellingshed the illusionof i in teamand my claustrophobicsoul yearned to beheard at long lastso with stolen wingsof wax and feathersi am my own icarusand i will freezeto death tryingto touch the sunbefore i plummetas a stepping stonefor another’s success letting go is […]

substitute by the sex pistols erased a poem from my lips as i drove this morning the bits that hover spiderwebs in the wind poetic shards of unquenched beauty but the words evaporated dew in the morning light just the supple refractions murmuring in my empty skull as i snarled you think we look pretty […]

the last sleeping pill a lingering fog the coffee can’t quite seem to dispell as i listen to the sparrows the first flashes of dull light bleeds through and i am unsure if it is the sun rising slowly or another round of random terror from the faulty ground in my tesla coiled brain as […]

transformers send showers of sparks raining down on my head i am supercharged racing with arcing light the mania strikes as many fucking times as it wants as i thrash snapping molars on the wooden dowel jammed in my alligator bite splinters pierce my gums a pink flecked foam lost in my sandalwood scented facial […]

it wasn’t the end of the world though it was an ending which can be difficult to differentiate as the ground trembles and he tumbles downdowndown into a hell of his own creation an execution of soulspasming rejections in earnest anguish he wasn’t good at endings a stack of books with dogeared pages marking final […]

a constant frenetic motion never stopping no time for thought just movement one parking meter goes to zero as the next one gets fed racing from the thirteenth floor to the street eight blocks over rinse and repeat elevator to sidewalk to escalator to skybridge to staricase to parking meter cars circling hoping to steal […]

every once in a while i get to watch as a car goes the wrong way down the one way maze of downtown dallas they pull out of the parking garage and play on their phones and then perform what usually turns into a panicked state of consecutive wrong turns as the horns blare a […]

the wind through the trees sounds the same as the waves crashing to shore and for a moment as the coffee drips the lack of sleep along with the wind blowing has me uncertain as i sit in the dark what lays outside the crooked blinds i could stumble half awake into the black waters […]

some nights my sorrow summons the storms to drown this world of insipid miseries my chest aches as the lightning darts across the periwinkle clouds and i cannot tell if it is real or a manifestation of inclemental agony the rains pummel a dessicant of deceitful soulsquander as i trace the drops in erractic descent […]

a flat bed truck towing a car with another on the bed spraying water over the side of the overpass as it undulates a catterpillar of metal and glass lazily crawling from thirty around to commerce street and i am an aphid in the torrential rains scurrying to find some leaves to fill this void […]

i am a nautilus a spiraling demise in half dreamt reverie as the sleeping pills give a pseudo slumber of decreasing dreamwhispers causing me to pull tighter and tighter until the anxiety of waking tired and aching on top of this comprehensive lack of dream leaves me rather unresponsive to morning stimuli a three quarter […]

life is nonconsensual at its very core so we apply a false set of standards to define living refusing to acknowledge how the basic tenets transcribed are are ideals with no expectancy of actuality clinging to dreamshards to make the menial deficiencies less abrasive unless we find some measure of fulfillment where we currently exist […]

every atom vibrates at its own frequency the unfathomable gaps between frantic keening in irradiated dismay tumors shivering a cancerous sonata solitary requiems languishing lost in a lethargy of phantom limbs grasping desperate for a connection a purpose in the infinity straddling electron displacement self absorbed satellites spinning terminal trajectories dutifully bound to gravitational flux […]

the last yearlasted a decadei hit record lowswhich is honestlysaying somethingit was a slowdissolution offriendships whereexterior forcesrevealed hiddenidentities i hadnever suspectedand the poor foolwith his abandonmentissues forcefeda fallacy offalse facades wheretrusted confidantshad once occupiedled to bleedinga pool of insecuritiesdeep enough todrown in sorrows a year that lastedat least a decadeand as the world diespreparing for […]

my beard once more ginger than the tousled brown that once adorned my salacious skull has lost the embers that once colored my chin in coppery curls as the wintery growth has more snowy patches fitting camouflage for hiding in the oncoming cold the mirror shows an older face my mind cannot quite correlate with […]

a clatter of slamming doors keys jangle as babies cry a soft shushing as the coffee maker hisses engines firing squeaking bearing loose belt screams three beeps from the kitchen as the first cup fills the mug steam rising the blinds turn shades of indigo climb above the rooftops as sirens cry warning while the […]

they are sending texas school kids home with dna kits and placards for their fingerprints not as an experiment into researching genealogy but to help police identify bodies in case of another school shooting not for the purpose of teaching anything except that the government will do nothing to curtail the mass shootings except to […]

we would walk along the lime covered trail kicking rocks explaining in that cocksure teenage certainty we knew exactly everything necessary to bend the world around our whims the four of us a cohesive unit inseparable against a world that we knew wasn’t ready for us stealing cigarettes getting stoned beneath the rusted train tressle […]

the bushes verdant, shallow wall sparrows dart the sun breaks in lazer beams through bare spots blinding refractions in white graveldust collecting colloquial condemnation in a curious culling of canine devotion the branches tear as i push my way into the hidden panorama of precarious paradise torn scraps flags of surrender as the topiary gives […]

morning spent in mourning for sparse sleep, filled with the indentions left by visiting spectres, the coffee pot sits cold and drained, i writhe the coarse cocoon swaddled too tightly, the putrefied organ slurry of reconfigured mass, as the rigorous transformation sends ripples cascading the words scream yet i choose to ignore them poetic nonsense […]

the mainspring has lost tension the small crown a brass cap with worn knurled edges spinning freely the mechanism that once wound this heart a severed connection the seconds slip as sluggish gears tick a last tock in the stagnation of sleepless nights the cataract of milky white indifference swirls behind the jeweler’s loupe held […]

a rare cool morning the sins of the sun break lazily through the steel gray skies above sleepy cleburne the only lost souls line up for a hint of caffeinated warmth as a fool roams about a head full of poetry leaking out in threads to entangle errant rays in crystalline sepulchres with irradiated blossoms […]

lifeless dull a series of mannequins with flesh bone splinters jutting out anthropomorphic cacti with fibrous sinew chlorophyll fingers maniacally winding pocket watches against the sullen tide of church bells ticktockticktock whispering pardons in parabolical disenchantment prickly passive pale pink purveyors in frantic repose ticktockticktock scabrous lips pulled tight scarred slits over toothy indentions dull […]

each of us is a biodegradable mass of accumulated dreams wasting away in the cookie cutter monotony broadcast a pollution of manufactured distraction distorting desires into disambigious dementias i think of poor pessoa trapped in his small room an ink well as a substitute for satiation as he longs for new visions to be plastered […]

i lay calm an ebony pool with a warped reflection of the moon shimmering in my shallow depth a contortionist i am pulled mercurial in nature transitioning effortlessly between states of semiconsciousness an evaporation in sublimated refrain an internal alarm in klaxon reverberation my soul condensed into a fine mist forced into a cramped darkness […]

last night in lieu of sleep i carefully sketched a faraday cage design for cradling my errantly sparking gelatinous mind a series of metal grommets in hasty incisions braided copper dreadlocks strung connected to the frame of the bed draining this excessive voltage through coiled springs discharging in a lavender hell to power this ragged […]

moths circle fluttering around my tremulous skull ashen smears streak my left temple as the unchecked voltage has turned me into a walking bug zapper the current spikes arcing over the faint stubble in a paralysis of anxietal demands i spent the night trying to harness this rampant energy in spasming flares lighting the bedroom […]

i drove three hundred miles yesterday and a part of me knew i needed to gas up but the same hurry to go nowhere that afflicted me causing me to forget my wallet had me lost looking out the window instead of at the gas gauge i was idiotically quite surprised when the car began […]

today is the third day out of four this week that i have forgotten my wallet at home and i am unsure what is so important in my brain that overrides my common sense and has me hustle out without a basic double check i could blame the brain lightning leaving me half catatonic and […]

lightning coursing across the left side of my skull singing the air with ozone laden agonizing forks leaving me unwilling to shift for fear of reigniting this tempest of tumultuous terror i sit alone nude except for my hat pulled low the constant pressure overloading the sensitive region creating an abyss of stabbing pains before […]

it was approximately the dead center of nowhere when i realized if i didn’t piss soon there would be a mess as each little town blurred past with nary a gas station in sight i finally turned down an old gravel road and parked beneath an old oak where i let loose a shower the […]

death comes each evening to chat billowing robes ashen skull hidden in the shadowed cowl she got my letters and on the nights i don’t feel up to conversing she reads them to me always starting with the ones written in waxy crayon the innocent ones begging for an ending to the special lessons designed […]

the advertisement begins so joyously with bright happy faces before shifting tonally to darkness interlaced with sorrow a soft voice whispers of the weight of bipolar depresssion and i watch wondering is this the cure to a lifetime of struggle can my mind mend itself with this magical pill that’s me the kind voice is […]

simplicity is paradoxical because of the inherent complexities ingrained deeply complicating what should be so easy with the anxieties of certain uncertainty the world is a watercolor painted by billions of hands in a spellbinding menagerie of images just out of focus except by the ones that left the smear avoiding interpretations untinted by the […]

she sauntered into the room i say saunter unsure of the meaning but knowing deep down she encompassed it with every inch of her being she smiled at me a cold almost lifeless lifting of her cheeks never quite reaching her disinterested stare or disturbing her wintry beauty as she sat two stools down from […]

we had a thickweathered green tarpunder which wekept our bicyclesduring the inclementrainy springs andlong frozen wintersit was waterproofso the dips andvalleys of fabricfilled with poolsand i would race mylittle metal carsdown the trackssuspended by thehandlebars and framesof the forgotten bikesrecreating death defyingstunts as the plasticwheels spun with agentle whining on thespindly metal axlesno thought given […]

they used to send me emails telling me there is something in the vulnerability that drew them to my sloppy odes to her peeling off my flesh to expose the ugliness we all hide beneath the skin deep beauty then they would confess in the pain and confusion to lighting a flame inside and after […]

i haven’t given up i have simply given away the best parts of myself to the universe cut off mementos to hang from the trees and the faint rattle is all that remains of a fool in a scorched silhouette where fevers flared frightful frozen flames ashes drift to settle in an inken solution with […]

humanity has huddled around various light sources to whisper tales of the monsters lurking in the darkness since the first rudimentary paintings scrawled upon the caves they hid in the more they evolved the more clever the ways they distilled the horrors that encompass humanity itself into a mythology of gods to explain away how […]

i have become a student of the false banter brokered by internet jockeys spinning outrages taking truth and perverting it for an enabled audience to rage over momentarily despite any factual evidence to support it it is fascinating televsion shows are pandering and the cartoon characters cannot be homosexual vaccines are trackers and the media […]

i can’t tellif the lightsare flickeringor if realityis shatteringbetween thesethunderous yawnsmy hand quiversand hot coffeespills over therim of the mugi see the fleshturn red butfeel nothing throughthe pins and needlesas the sun shinesa diluted hazeof sallow indignationinto the cloud ofstale smoke andlingering malaisean illusion ofsleepless shadowsas the bags beneathmy hollow eyesblunt the daggersof flickering lightand […]

outside my door strung from the light to the bottom of the second landing is a massive spiderweb the first morning i met my new neighbor i stood quite still in mid motion of locking the door as henrietta a frightfully large spider sat staring at me attentively perhaps a bit too attentively as if […]

i lose a littlemore of myselfevery mile drivenin the half dreamtstate of longing forthe things thatappear closer thanthey truly arestaring into theside mirrors for aglimpse at the reflectionof the promised happinessi can’t quite tellif i am chasingor racing just out ofreach of with no cluehow to slow down andlet it catch up to meonly to […]

a fairy tale upbringing grounded in harsh reality no magical spells cast to save the plucky hero just a lifetime of issues used to make sure the ending is the only happiness to be found. no wishes granted as each one of the fears compacted is exploited by the careless whims of indifference casually given […]