blurry burs and dreamspurs

no calls today
fully dressed and
waiting to go
somewhere when
nowhere is the only
destination i have
mapped on my phone
the silence does
little for a mind
at the brink of
breaking down so
i go for a drive
to preoccupy my
need to pick at the
scabs itching as
the flesh heals
beneath the carapace
of crystalized pus

a stoic fool wanting
to talk to his dad
but even as the veil
thins on all hallows eve
the ouija planchette
sits unresponsive
under my tentative
fingertips and i know
there is nothing but
dreamless sleep once
the last spark dies

of all the wants left
unfulfilled i focus on
the impossibilities
blowing out candles
as wishes go ungranted
scratching prayers
on picnic tables and
hearts in the soil where
the wildflowers sleep
until next summer
restless and remorseful
for the wasted moments
accumulating in lines
sorrowful etchings on
the weathered face of
a mountain that once
was was able to kiss
the afternoon sun but
sits eroded between the
jagged peaks that once
appeared so small before
the slow eradication of
silent eons trickling

bargaining with the
pervasive silence above
for some sort of miracle
to stave off this
insatiable hunger for
droplets of joy to send
ripples over the surface
of this reflection pool
where ugliness glares
angrily at the autumn sun
for a message to get
through the thinning veil
to tell him to sleep well
and he is still loved

i bounce
a ping pong ball
going from
depressingly manic
to manically depressed
a hollow man
crashing into the net
a fault, a foul, an error
a dreamcatcher
suspended to snag
errant prayers
to stuff the bloated
abdomen of eternity

an unread missive
junk mail in
god’s spam folder
amid ads for boner pills
and desperate pleas
for politcal donations
importance is based
purely on perspective
and i only exist
in the blindspots


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