(un)prepared

i tried my damnedest
to play well while
chained to the
gates of hades
but three egos
slowly swelling
shed the illusion
of i in team
and my claustrophobic
soul yearned to be
heard at long last
so with stolen wings
of wax and feathers
i am my own icarus
and i will freeze
to death trying
to touch the sun
before i plummet
as a stepping stone
for another’s success

letting go is difficult
when you’re trapped in
a hyperbolic hell of
feeling everything
but these exposed nerves
synapses firing in a
torment of insistant
incessant heartmurmurs
demands to be recognized
self doubt coiled tight
around my throat as i
scream futilely into
an abyss of bipolar fury
spitting bile to stain
the scenary in shades of
cathartic disintegration
a year that took ten
to shed the paper mache
costume of silent dismay
prepared at long last
to dominate this world
of plastic emotions with
an all out attack on
the feelings we try so
hard to deny we are feeling

i was content to sit
on the sidelines hidden
away from the spotlight
unable to see the reason
a fool could stand alone
all the while harnessing
these shifting algorithms
in an effort to find
myself buried in the words
but now that i see the
first faint hint of light
my aching shoulders let
my handmade wings unfurl
as i attempt to etch
my name in the clouds
well aware of the odds
and willing to gamble it
all on the strength of
my abilitiy to convey
a depth of passion lost
in a modern age of
chasing trends in pursuit
of temporary recognition
i will force them to see
me for the incarnation of
barely contained madnesss
reconfiguring expectations
with every bloody line

i will not be denied
not any longer
not by myself
nor by this world
of temporary forevers
i am the accelerant
i am the spark
and the fire will burn
it all to cinders
and still my words
will taint the ashes
as my waxen wings
freeze in the upper
atmosphere where only
fools try to soar

One thought on “(un)prepared

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