sometimes during a kiss i open my eyes

in my mind i paint a portrait of the look on the face kissing me back

a frozen moment

some looks are blissful, calm, in the second so completely, almost melting into me

those are nice sweet kisses, soft, tongues dancing, rapturous instances of joy

others eyes are squeezed tight, hunger is the only emotion

hard pressed, lips bit, hands searching, dual natured

and occasionally eyes open back at me

and that instance is electrifying

directly into the other set of windows

they aren’t

they don’t show the soul

but they do show a total dedication to one another in this moment

so as i sit here alone

seeking a solution to

life

stop my heart from beating me up

taking me down roads i would prefer not travel

it is so easy to fall of the wagon because there is nothing to back you up

it is open to the air

next time i fall off the wagon, and it is dangerously close, when i finally pull my head out of my ass i am getting a carriage to sobriety, sitting back on cushions and ignoring the constant jarring

they need to figure out how to get on the train

i could get behind that

too cold to go back out, too quiet in here