i can stare
across the chasm
of
where i am
and
where i wish i was
the small blurry figure
that represents
all the wrong choices
all the wrong obsessions
the lies
the tales told
the drinks i drank
the drugs consumed
yet
as i raise my hand
to wave
the figure does as well
i see
that he is the one
i ended up becoming
a mirage
a dream
a lost prayer
floating unheard
ignored by bored gods
left to be consumed
by hubris
by every manic wishful thought
that denied sleep
a gasp escapes
bubbles up
my throat is
constricted
afflicted
restricted
there is suddenly
blood in the water
drawing sharks
even as i realize
i was underwater
the entire time
lungs filling with water
as surely
as if with regret
the chasm
a trench
the figure
just the bioluminescent lure
on the angler fish
hoping to get
some of the shredded flesh
left behind
by the black marble eyes
of death