i am saddled with shortcomings but have a few innate skills honed to perfection through my years drifting along as something very nearly real

i can burn bridges with the best of them

disappear into the brush to never be seen again

satisfy yet still not quite be enough in equal measure

i can say the most inappropriate thing at the most opportune time with just a hint of color in my cheeks to mark the occasion

i once saved a friend’s life, got in trouble with the law to save his career and then vanished from his life as if i had never existed

it is a peculiar set of skills developed as self defense

even as they have crippled my heart and mind

proving that i am just not worth the fight

because i am a ball of fluttering anxiety and depression and a deep seated fear of abandonment that sings a self fulfilling prophecy