i need to
hide
find myself
in this mess
of anxiety
an understanding
why i am
incapable of
being more than
a shadow in the
lives of loved ones

borderline
living means
being a perpetual
self fulfilling
prophecy waiting
for the other
show to drop
preparing for
the worst with
every cell until
it is induced
by sheer will

i haven’t been
able to earn love
since i was a kid
an emotional collander
with an expiration
date imprinted on
the calendar circled
in a shade of red
undetectable by
an old punk long
past his best buy date
spitting into the wind