yesterday
the entire world
was coated in
a filth where
beauty drowned
in fetid gasps

today
i have flatlined
i feel nothing
just subtle notes
of disappointment
glistening like
dew in the silken
strands of my
dreamcatcher soul

the technical term
is splitting
it occurs mostly
from childhood trauma
where it is conditioned
by loved ones
turning into monsters
causing a schism
of black and white

but on the days
when everything sparkles
beauty etches itself
effortlessly upon
each and every sight
recharges my emptiness
enough to rattle on
as the cycle shifts

understanding
does nothing to
alleviate this
convoluted mess
but at least things
never get stagnant
when it is constantly
in a state of flux

it is the longing
to be loved enough
held close as
the storms rage endlessly
in the long dark
of a shattered soul
which smothers hope
knowing no one
will ever understand
enough to stick around
to actually see me