i long to
sleep
yet there is
a chasm
exactly
the shape
of her
and my heart
sounds back
in pitiful
echoes calling
for her to
make it whole
once more

an unfathomable
depth of loss
lays just between
the lies i swallowed
a perfect lure
for a foolish fish
and the hollow hiss
as my heart taps
a call for help
in the cavernous
hollows of this
semisentient sex toy

i understand both
pinicchio’s yearning
to be a real boy
and the horrid realization
at getting exactly
what you wished

if there is any
real justice
to be found in
this wobbling
marble spinning
fitfully around
an ever expanding sun

the blue fairy
is blowing truckers
somewhere humid
and she has an open
sore for every bastard
she tricked with
just enough awareness
to see how hopeless
dreams can be

i stare at the ceiling
trying to scrape together
enough pieces to give
an illusion of whole
knowing enough is
the one thing i could
never quite manage to be

the wind howls
over the hollow space
where she lay draped
across my torso
perhaps this explains
why when i finally sleep
i wake startled with
a sense of falling
i rolled over
to plummet forever
grasping madly
for one who
was never truly there