i have spent
my life chasing down
electro-mechanical
issues because
fixing things
solving problems
feels awfully nice
compared to the hell
of cascading catastrophes
irreparably inoperable
a human malignancy
in electrical fits
desperate to be held
grounded when the arcs
dance in ghostfire reveries
chasing phantoms with
hearts in the shape of home

machines have no purpose
if they do not function
the invisible currents
powering everything
follow a rigid logic
it is being human
which escapes me
i get so fucking lost
and this compass points
to heartaches as yet undiscovered

i sympathize with
the sparrow who crashes
into the window pane
i don’t know anything else
except barreling headfirst
well aware one of these
willful endangerments ends
with a sudden terminal stop

then again
where’s the fun
in playing it safe?