i can feel
when i slip too far
the obsessive compulsions
begin to wire my day
it starts
innocently
a mantra
to calm my head
which becomes
a repetition
which becomes
a light burning
until i am
knotted up
trying to perform
rituals i know
are ineffectual

i drive a lot
one of the early
indicators of imminent
insanity ensueing
is a discomfort
crossing my own path
the incessant thought
i will pass myself
and it will prove
everything i have been
screaming to disprove

things have been
turbulenttopsyturvy
new responsibilities
thrust into the heart
of chaos while being
consumed by a legion
of inner demons

my compass knows
no true north
just fleeting
false fluctuations
from faded flames
and i so desperately
long to be held
staring down
the mouth of another
weekend spent alone