little cat naps as we skip along the clouds

little glimpses of rest in an ocean of cluster headache

looking forward to my bed, my pillow, will settle for coffee in my mug on the couch

got to play in the snow and fly back to texas where it will be cooler than boston

makes no sense to me

i will just have to settle with little naps, mini dreams to escape the tedium of the aching three way throb

sitting in a row with no window, the angles to view out others only show a bright white of sun reflected off cloud sea

no azure recollections, or gray promise of rain

just the sweet idea of home, back to basic necessities, need groceries, to pay the bills, to be piloting the ship i have happily been a passenger on the last week

maybe

or sink back into the abyss, my cavern of perpetual doubt, nurse the three point attack of migraine pressure from comfort of my no fly zone

i need to get out again, stop hiding from the world and embrace it

then i think if how it turned out the last time, the time before that, before that

cyclical failure, a system defect but ingrained, unfortunately i managed to void the warranty years ago with excess

almost to saint louis again, the halfway point, the gateway city, nestled on the banks of the mighty mississip

i will be better by then

i would laugh at the lie but it hurts too badly

i still forget i am an adult most of the time, how am i too expect to effect a positive change upon my broken mind if i cannot remember to be adult

it is difficult

this is your captain speaking, the fasten seat belt light has been turned off, feel free to roam the annals of your mind

any unexpected air pockets may cause lucidity, if the affection lasts more than thirty or seconds, godspeed

i got a coffee and it came with a rather robust stirrer

the end is one of a myriad of possibilities

could be a heart, but the angle seems more butt, or a couch from the side

long enough that i could put it through the corner of an eye and with enough force into the brain

not sure if the intended victim is the one snoring or myself

if this is my last missive of prose, i made the right choice

flying makes me stir crazy, and the lack of sleep has me punch drunk

but i have a window seat and insanity to burn