he is outside smoking again

standing there in his wife beater blowing clouds of bue gray smoke

grease stains on the front

yellowed at the arm pits

he is going to work on that car all day again today

just smoke cigarettes and lay on the ground beneath it

i have never seen the damn thing run

what is he doing under there all day for the last two years

his wife looks out the blinds

he always says hi when i go outside

friendly enough

his spying wife

his track pants

that broken down car and staring eyes

i wonder at what kind of life it is

and then realize i am watching it

what kind of life is that

me staring at them, her staring at him, him staring at the bottom of the car

all day

if i stopped and asked myself how i got here it would probably just kill me

so i watch and wonder

but not too deeply

not prepared for that level of misery