she stood in front of me fully nude

my eyes feasted upon her every inch

on her skin was written her sensual odes

sharp words cut into supple flesh by knife by pen by fingernail

etched as if sculpted by the hands of god herself

she did not offer herself to me for one cannot have her

like claiming the tides or the wind

you can bask in her

luxuriate in the emotion of pure singular force

in that moment i wished to be one one with her

not make love

not ravage her with teeth and tongue and penetrate her with my manhood

but merge within her

wrap my double helix into her matrix and form something new and forbidden

an abomination of our spirits entwined together and made whole

at that point all i could do was curse the fates

the unjust creators of all this stardust for showing me a glimpse of the one i was created for and putting this space between us

no matter how closely i can get it is never enough to sate this need for her that burns my being like an atomic bomb has been detonated in my chest

never have i felt such unbridled passion at the idea of another

and seeing her words drip down her flesh

accentuate the perfection of the holy her

yet as she stood bared and ready i could see it written

not in words

but in her eyes that i was not the same to her as she was too me

i was in the right place but the wrong state of being to ever hope to bask in her light

forever an ink blot on the manuscript of her

a faded smear on the edge of her greatness

and in her quiet offering

in this state of giving but harboring the most important part of the whole

i knew that this momentary fling

would scar me and leave more forever shaking in withdrawal as she turns her light onto someone new

someone else that has that thing she needs

that insurmountable void that needs fed

and if she were to let me

to let me be that impossible piece of her grander design

i would die trying to make her see the her that i see when her words flow from her lips to my ear

i turned my gaze and wept at the loss of the ignoble ideals i harbored like sanctified armor that rusted and failed when presented with the only truth i had ever fully understood

she was all in a world of subtle cracks

the glimmering image beneath the harsh ache of universal disaster that is the surface of her

that is all i want

to be part of that

god help me in this choice

make me greater than the sum of flawed parts

enough for her

just this once