you wrote me a letter, an offering of secrets, i read it over and again, your trust and pulling back the curtain sparked something deep inside of me

read it over and again, your perfume intoxicating, your handwriting beautiful and precise, like you, i could see the swirls and loops of your pen

imagine the pen cap with your bite marks on it, the way you twirled your hair as you wrote or concentrated

the misspelled words a joyous ode to letting go, the dark thoughts drew me in, i was a moth to your flame, pheromones leading me to you

you wrote me another letter, a farewell though i didn’t know it, the writing less contained, scribbled out lines and underlined declarations

i couldn’t understand

it was cracked and crinkled, clearly balled up and unfurled, like you doubted the meaning behind it

i must have done something to make you revisit it, reaffirmed the original, now lost, meaning it held

your rage and hurt a bonfire, destroying all in it’s wake, and i was softly sleeping in my bedroll, unaware the armageddon on it’s way

i found it slipped beneath the door in an envelope marked with an m, no cartoon hearts, no spray of your smell

an absent scent, the lack as telling as the words

instead of just silent vanishing, something we were both so proficient at, you chose to make your declaration of independence

i thought the letters lost, packed away in the emotional baggage of another life until they spilled from a box of knick knacks and childhood photos

i could still smell your perfume, phantom chemtrails, relighting the halogen bulbs of memory

haven’t thought of you for years, so many things have occurred since those days of wasted youth, almost looked you up to say hello

but the last line of your nearly undelivered note brought me to a halt, you said maybe in twenty years we would see each other on the street, our eyes would meet and it would be fate

let’s leave it up to the stars, but don’t be mad if i see you and look the other way, some things just look better with a coating of dust

i’m not who i was back then, for better, for worse, picked up a few new tricks, probably lost a step or two on the way

just wanted to say hi, hope you’re doing well, don’t look for me and i won’t look for you either, a daydream from another time, better unfulfilled