how i miss you my friend, the way your temper fired my own, the taste of beer and cigarettes as we wiled away another night with no future planned and yesterday another punchline

do you remember those nights when we just drove and drove

how we never made it anywhere yet the miles clicked on

the great debates, the women we never dared approach, the barely restrained tears

the days we wasted and the nights we drank away the memories of ache and laughter

those dark country roads and the music turned up, singing along whether we knew the words or not

the concerts where we screamed ourselves hoarse, drank ourselves dry and smoked until our eyes bled

at least i did

oh to relive those days of stupid daring and no fear of death, just the gravel roads and cornfields aplenty

our last adventure to lay my father to rest, not knowing we would never see each other in this life again, but planning the next great time in a foolish belief it would be sooner rather than too late

to you my friend, these tears do travel, down a face you would no longer recognize, from a place far away

you have your family and life in the north while i fall apart here in the south trying to remember

just tattered photographs and misremembered days gone past

just the ache of loss of one who was so close and grew so far apart so easily when we swore it would never happen

i can’t recall your voice any more

what does that say about me forgetting his brother

all the years of smoke and drink and sorrow and loss adding up to so much clutter in this dusty attic

but i’ll always remember bits and pieces of heartache and laughter

even as these vision become muddy and the photos fade to black

to billy, my dearest friend and brother, i miss you