i thought to stand
in the hot water
of the shower
listening to the song it played
off the bathtub
in a symphony
of disharmonic malaise

the smell of the soap
reawoke
those memories
that i have tried
to smash deep down
into the lockbox
at the foot of my brain

i was at the cusp
of two divergent endings
in the blink of an eye
one where those dreams
all came true
and reality where i
was left with nothing

the skin on fingers and toes
turned pruney
from over saturation
yet i could not reckon
why the skin on my cheeks
had not done the same
from the river of tears

no matter how i scrub
the feel of her skin
upon mine
does not abate
the clean smell of the soap
reminding of her taste
as the water steadily falls