a win

i like to go outside and sip coffee while the darkness still sits impatiently over the world

it is quiet

no planes overhead, no cars on the streets, the apartments are all silent around me

in these moments, it is the just the words and the silence, punctuated by strong coffee

i heard the door open and scrape of tiny paws on the concrete, watching as the puppy excitedly races to the grass, i turn to see the neighbor girl, maybe six or seven, sleepily watching, i smile but i have one of those faces that can be frightful in the wan pink light creeping like a spider over the horizon

she comes over, hesitantly, to stand by me, a better view of the puppy sniffing everything, floppy ears and tail that nearly tips it over in the franticness of wagging

what are you doing?

i raise my coffee cup, point to the sky, watching

watching what?

the world

why?

i shrug, no good reason, i suspect

my daddy says you are weird, are you?

i nod slowly, i most likely am

he says you never leave, except to work, that’s weird too, what do you do besides listen to music?

i write

what?

stories, poems

she makes a face, i can’t help but smile wide, i feel the same

you don’t seem so weird

it can be our little secret

she scrunches her face up and stares at me

i like your hat

thank you

maybe a little weird

maybe

i think you need to smile more, you look mean

i can try

do it

what?

smile

i do

that’s not nearly so scary

then her mother yelled through the closed door and she and the puppy were gone

but not before she peeked her head out the door

i am gonna tell my daddy you are nice, a little weird, but nice

and i smiled as the sunlight rolled the blanket of night up for the day

a little weird

but nice

that feels like a win

One thought on “a win

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