a steady decline

happiness is
sunlight
in a mason jar
laughter
trapped in a
plastic baggie

sorrow is
a bonedeep ache
rattling about
an empty heart
an infusion
of bitter
petulant truth

life is
an illusion
a prismatically
flawed
interpretation
of chemicals
a shimmering
heartspasm
cascading down
six feet deep
inch after
agonzied inch

haunted by
words unsaid
a lazy stream
of memories
razorwire coiled
in the shape
of a smile
flailing
and failing
to find reason
in a steady
decline

my understanding
of your
permanent
solution
to existence
and my being
able to rectify
knowing you
are gone
are two very
separate
and conflicting
points of view

i envy you
while feeling
angry
at you
at myself
you left a void
of unanswerable
questions
on the merits
of what could have
should have
been done
differently

yet another
friend in a
fucking box
and all that
i know
is the pain
of selfish loss

happiness is
sunlight
in a mason jar
meaningless
in this
steady decline
of night

3 thoughts on “a steady decline

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