i was sitting
alone under dismal skies
in a parking lot
on hold
with a church
in a perpetual loop
trying to reach someone
but every option
brought me back
to the beginning again
until i hit
inquiries for donation
and suddenly
as if the clouds parted
the phone rang

i didn’t busy myself
with the implications
of how the i need assistance
function was a feedback loop
leading only to donations
and as the smiling voice answered
i looked out the window
and instead of my name
i muttered
what the fuck

a couple chickens
fat hens with red feathers
began pecking
at the concrete
next to my car
two of them
beaks hitting ground
black eyes glaring
in at me
as if i took the last seeds
to hoard in my car

i apologized and hung up
the dismalities
evaporated slightly
as the ridiculousness
settled down on me
i race all over
seeking seeds from the asphalt
endlessly banging my head
off of the walls
upset over things
no one except me
could give a shit about
another chicken
plucked from rural obscurity
struggling to survive
in a world
that makes no sense
looping in my brain
needing help
but the only open line
wants to bleed me dry