i feel like
an amateur surfer
unsteady on
this new board
unable to read
the curl of the wave
yet trying too hard
to not get
swallowed by the
pull of the
chalkdust circle
glaring malevolently
from the clear azure
my feet slip
tears from the
saline spray
the sun refracting
into prismatic daggers
and goddamn it
the reef is inviting
but i crouch low
as the water slams
just over my head
wrapping around me
i am lost in foam
a tunnel of dark
knowing despite the
impossibilty that
the light at the end
is likely still
a fucking train
my legs shake
as the board sails
out from beneath me
and i take in
lungfuls of seawater
unwilling to fight
just let the undertow
sweep me farther out
a snile of sweet
surrender as the light
becomes another
bad memory slowly
worn away