an induction of paralysis in dreamspite and silence

every two hours
i roll over
spend five minutes
muttering to
myself silently
another twenty
lost in thought
recycling the day
trying to find
the words that
escaped me during
the install when
my hands were too
busy to scribble
catching fragments
of those figments
before slipping
back into a new fit
of troubled sleep

by the time the
alarm rings at seven
minutes to six
i am feeling a bit
rambunctious or
perhaps punchdrunk
from the lack of
continuous sleep
coffee and staring
out at the darkness
as the chimes sing
a soft song over
brewing coffee as i
finally feel tired
enough to find rest
the half muttered
prayers like ashes
on my golden tongue

a thousand god
forsaken poems
written throughout
this miserable
year of invisibility
and still i doggedly
chase the ones
lost during the day
as if they hold
the secrets to curing
the sleepless nights
just empty chimes
filling the silence
a swarm of fruit flies
buzzing incessantly
in the long stretches
of petulant denials
awaking from these
restless nap slivers
to a sodden pillow
drenched thoroughly
with yesterday’s tears
in a torrent of lost
words left unwritten

and still her name
is honey on my tongue
a futility of need
in frost covered needles
piercing the veil
between giving in to
the itchy remnants
lingering as i spin
and giving up on
ever finding the pieces
of shattered peace
each revolution driving
agonies into insomnial
delusionary dreamspite
as i bleed to death
from a thousand papercuts
given by the pages left
blank due to the gaps
in memory induced fits
of soul bereft paralysis

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