disengaged

the alarm rang
telling me my time
staring at the
ceiling as waves
of anxiety compress
my heart into a
perfectly flawed
blood diamond
shining dully
in her disengaged stare

hard to gauge
how bad things have
gotten when it feels
the same as always
fallen into the
repetitions
the manic monster
kept at arm’s length
but close enough
the fire in my eyes
keeps you warm

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