i am
hollowed
out

an entire day
spent sobbing
sadness screeching
as i rock
afraid my body
will shatter
an impossibility
of cracking under
the weight of
my own lack
of substance

bruised
flinching away
five again
longing for
affection
drowning in
silence
leaky valves
in an unwanted
heart dripping
watercolor odes
even as i slip
fartherandfurther
from her light

hollowed
out
in an over
abundance of
grief