i have spent
so long perfecting
my paper-mache
mask to appear
as a real boy
when my brain begins
to scream in a
borderline bipolar
klaxon as the
world falls apart
all around me
by the time my
mask slips it is
a shocking exposure
of exactly what
i had been trying
to warn the world about.

i can appear to be
perfectly normal
but my skull is
filled with sorrows
as i snap to and fro
from manic disaster
to sultry depression
with no warnings but
for the next flush
of chemical woes.

it’s easy to
misdiagnose what you
see in a hollow fool
one wearing different
masks to hide in
plain sight rather
than let the demons
claw their way from
the infinite hell
contained inside
someone who is
always passed over.

a devoted lover
unworthy of either
wasting away in
silent dismissal
screaming to be seen
yet hiding behind
the mask which keeps
him fully anonymous.