i once drove
nine hours
simply to hold
her hand
and when i left
she went back
to her ex
and waited
three months
to tell me
all while i
waited for her
like a gigantic
fucking idiot

can you imagine
a fractured mind
paralyzed
loving constantly
through uncertainty
while she was
with the person
she actually loves
the entire time

i wish i couldn’t
but she taught me
two important things

it’s okay
not being able
to see myself
because there
is nothing
here to see

and i will never
be bukowski
because he
treated love
like the asshole
it truly is
whereas i am
wholly love’s asshole