i turn
the phone back on
at 530
make the first shaker
of protein powder
and coffee
my daily sustenance
as the notifications
vibrate across
the coffee table

sylvia’s words dance
in my mind as
the bitter crosses
my tongue and birdsong
breaks the dawn as
the first rays of dawn
cut across my eyes

ten minutes spent
lost in a her who let
my borderline heart
blindly stumble
back to its cage with
a few bitemarks still
glistening in the
tired musculature of
the most foolish organ

a deep sigh which
rattles the sorrows
hanging batlike from
the cavernous hollows
of my agonized skull
as acceptance today
is another one spent
in a loveless lament
settles like an old
robe of asbestos upon
my aching shoulders

i have nothing to
say to the sparrows
or to the sun or the
squirrels or the moon
nothing i haven’t said
and had ignored for
three hundred of these
miserable fucking mornings
sitting at the edge of
a full breakdown as
a new day dawns filled
with the same bipolar
anxieties which howled
at the sun yesterday

but it is part of
the morning ritual
and god forbid there
be any change in
this multitude or
astringent miseries