big convention
in virginia
over the weekend
got a bag full
of psychedelics
no sense of self
and an entire event
to dissociate from

the idea of seeing
my friends is
counterbalanced by
the constantcommerce
so i will flit among
the shadows smiling
and pretending i
know who anyone is
an indistinct blur
with unfocused eyes
manically bouncing

i have forgotten
who it is i am
supposed to be so
i can be anyone i want
but i will end up just
being a fucking mess
like always even though
i earnestly wished
to be something better