i feel as if
i need to become
more malleable
the constant
stretching in
random directions
from all these
sources seeking
something from me
i cannot define
has me unraveling
at a molecular level

i yearn to
rearrange the stunted
strands in double
helix despair into
something vaguely
more human than
this homonculus
concubine in decline
yet remain rigidly
locked in rigorous
dismay as ridicule
in redundancy remains
regally on display

whatever it is
you think exists
inside this scrapyard
for discarded devotions
is little more than
flecks of rust
floating tufts of
fleeting souldander
in a collusion of
confusion on a
collision course
to nowhere at all

i sputter
treading water
while dreams sink