the wind blows
my ashes in an apology
tour across the globe
revisiting hearts
which found nothing
in the mirage resting
in a fool’s delusion

i am sorry
i wasn’t enough
even if i kept banging
the drum announcing
my myriad of flaws
the illusion when
the cycles mesh
leads to moments
of clarity in this
sea of self confusion

there can be no
demands i relinquish
the routines which
keep me less suicidal
to placate this
solipsistic insanity
of seven billion
souls screaming
simply to be seen

i spent forever
hoping to be something
more than shattered
instead i found
beauty in the ugly
permeating my mind
each time i found
a modicum of peace
a desert rat sought
to wage new wars
to keep me off balance
with games i never
truly understood