momentarily
i miss you so much
every single cell
screams unanimously
in acrimonious agony
causing each star to

pause.

it all stops
just your smile
carved into my heart
the same as my
fingernails cut into
my palms as i squeeze
harderandharder

pause.

i don’t know when
the you you were became
the you you suddenly
seemed to be

i don’t know
who there was to miss
the you you were when
you gave yourself
so freely to me
a mirage
a phantomy wisp
an illusion cast
in moonlit hauntings
hanging taut
in a dreamcatcher
slowly spun in silk
to feed the spiders
scrabbling across my brain

pause.

breathe
you remember how
don’t you
don’t think about it
the catch in your chest
how your diapraghm seizes
it’s autonomous
don’t worry
the black spots
are god’s way
of letting you know
you’re going to die alone

pause.

i mostly miss
when the world
could be silent
when i could be left
alone with my thoughts
without them trying
to beat me to death
wondering what it is
i fundamentally lack