waiting for the call to go to work

while i’m at work i will have a hundred ideas, snippets of things that need to be written down and no way to do it

when i get home the echos will still be there but not the proper feel

i’ll try a few times and then when it is time to sleep and my lids grow heavy and my tapping feet stop moving and the slow deadening of restless angst hits me

they will spring back to life

angrily i will grab the phone off the charger and spill my guts for just long enough to fully awaken

only to have to start the process again

so as the thoughts hit me this morning i find my mind in an odd state of dilemma

some random video about feminism started before i could grab the remote

i support feminism

not wear a vagina hat and march support

but agree on equality

life is a shit show and we all deserve to be treated as well as possible

doesn’t erase a lifetime of opening doors, waiting to sit or trying to curb my natural proclivity to profanity and inappropriateness

so I let it play in the background as tried to wrap my head around this big thought percolating, see it from all sides and then attack with my lashing tongue

the women speaking was gorgeous

beautiful

and as she talked about equality and putting women first all i could think about was her naked

my mouth would explore her every nook and cranny

then it hit me

is this sexist

did i just turn a noble woman fighting for justice into something less

or

was that feminism in action

was it her power and confidence that made me want to have dirty sex on the floor next to the podium while people filmed it with their phones and uploaded the footage around the globe

i wasn’t seeing her as an object

was i

it was the ferocity in her eyes, the lilting notes of her voice

sexual feminism

is that a thing

all thoughts on work related diversions left my mind

i was at a real plastic fork in the road

could i have thoughts of taking her from behind while pulling that long braid and still be respectful of her empowerment

i don’t know

a moral quagmire if ever one existed

what if i wore the knitted pink vagina cap as i did it

a show of solidarity and mutually assured orgasms

now i have to go to work and wonder if i am a pig or a saint

call me saint bacon, patron of confused social issues