my friend called

it isn’t often that happens so i actually answer

he is lost

needs to figure out which path in life to take

the safe and simple

two and a half white picket fence

or take a little chance

get himself a mcmansion and a trophy wife in yoga pants

on one hand soccer band and little league

every saturday spent outside mowing

the other cocaine mercedes and hong kong

every adventure a spree

did he want sex saturday like clockwork

or blow jobs in bathrooms at strip clubs and probably some strange std

it’s like the mouth of a snapping turtle

versus python sex ball unwilling participant

hydrochloric acid enema

or razor wire jock strap

free yet empty

shackled and miserable

hovering somewhere in the stagnant center

shackled to misery

empty and drifting free

we settled somewhere around let’s get high and think about something else

back burner the real shit

focus on the now

rapidly falling into the wormhole of introspection

abort

abort

abort

i don’t tell him it is her birthday

don’t want to make it about me

broke my vow of silence and sent her an email

safely worded well wishes

subconsciously she has been swimming like a shark in the back of my head

we played games together

a lot

and we had a favorite which is getting a sequel

one i don’t know if i can handle playing

she and it are so

conjoined

i can’t imagine not playing with her

and we never will

but if we had a thing this was most assuredly our thing

and news broke

then next thing i knew it was her birthday

we were toxic

untenable

a magnesium fuse and devestating radius

this is just playing in my head

i look over to my friend

see if he is okay

no one’s there

and i cannot remember if he actually came over

or if i just got really stoned alone and thought about his issues and then morphed into my own

shake it off champ

this is not healthy

you shaved

finally

gonna make a mad dash to the store for food to survive another meager week

or hide

the sunset after a day of heavy rain gives everything a golden glow

like it isn’t so bad

a disney ending without fanfare or musical number

of all the songs about roads and highways only the talking heads ever got it right

today was a thursday

and mostly

it fucking sucked

the poem